Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
@justinmatic5000.bsky.social
Rated "pretty ok, I guess" by Robot Aficionado Magazine. Occasionally funny on purpose.
Posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaad2wolqd6v4
Posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaad2wolqd6v4
Anyone, anywhere: guess how much i paid for this
Me: no
Me: no
November 26, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Anyone, anywhere: guess how much i paid for this
Me: no
Me: no
My credit score is none of my business
November 26, 2025 at 1:31 AM
My credit score is none of my business
When ADHDing i often find bathroom breaks to be unnecessary side quests
November 26, 2025 at 1:28 AM
When ADHDing i often find bathroom breaks to be unnecessary side quests
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
The test subjects in the beta project today were labelled "testees" and my inner 13 year old absolutely frolicked
November 24, 2025 at 9:58 PM
The test subjects in the beta project today were labelled "testees" and my inner 13 year old absolutely frolicked
Apple is the worst cult of them all
November 25, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Apple is the worst cult of them all
It's customary among my people to get each other with a ping or a head pat. But the practice of going around back and examining each other's printer ports is outdated and kind of rude
November 25, 2025 at 7:45 PM
It's customary among my people to get each other with a ping or a head pat. But the practice of going around back and examining each other's printer ports is outdated and kind of rude
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Days without an accident in everyone contributing the right amount to the check: 0 🏆👑 Congratulations @justinmatic5000.bsky.social from @capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Made the mistake of going to the Cheesecake Factory and now I'm chained up in the assembly line until i meet my quota
November 24, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Days without an accident in everyone contributing the right amount to the check: 0 🏆👑 Congratulations @justinmatic5000.bsky.social from @capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I always knew I’d grow up to be awake in the middle of the night
January 14, 2025 at 8:09 AM
I always knew I’d grow up to be awake in the middle of the night
Welcome to Rizz 101, today I'll be showing you how to lick cheeto dust off of your fingers
November 24, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Welcome to Rizz 101, today I'll be showing you how to lick cheeto dust off of your fingers
Made the mistake of going to the Cheesecake Factory and now I'm chained up in the assembly line until i meet my quota
November 24, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Made the mistake of going to the Cheesecake Factory and now I'm chained up in the assembly line until i meet my quota
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I feel like a lot of us in the comedy world failed the world at large when we stayed silent despite knowing all about Cosby and Louis so let me say right now that Steve Martin has eaten one banjo a year for the last 25 years
November 22, 2025 at 5:00 AM
I feel like a lot of us in the comedy world failed the world at large when we stayed silent despite knowing all about Cosby and Louis so let me say right now that Steve Martin has eaten one banjo a year for the last 25 years
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
If you saw me licking yogurt lids, I wouldn’t be single.
November 22, 2025 at 5:22 AM
If you saw me licking yogurt lids, I wouldn’t be single.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Is it weird that none of my neighbors are strange
squirrel on my shoulder: I don’t think so
squirrel on my shoulder: I don’t think so
November 22, 2025 at 7:50 AM
Is it weird that none of my neighbors are strange
squirrel on my shoulder: I don’t think so
squirrel on my shoulder: I don’t think so
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
My doctor said I should avoid too much excitement so I won’t be using exclamation points for a while.
November 22, 2025 at 11:29 AM
My doctor said I should avoid too much excitement so I won’t be using exclamation points for a while.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
if i was a squirrel my catchphrase would be “pack up your nuts, boys, and get back in the trees cuz mama’s here now”
November 22, 2025 at 1:00 PM
if i was a squirrel my catchphrase would be “pack up your nuts, boys, and get back in the trees cuz mama’s here now”
Trying to convince my kid to do a report on Edith Microwave, inventor of the microwave
November 23, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Trying to convince my kid to do a report on Edith Microwave, inventor of the microwave
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I told my husband he was making too many desserts and he said “I’m willing to whisk it all for you” so I stabbed him with a fork
November 29, 2024 at 1:27 PM
I told my husband he was making too many desserts and he said “I’m willing to whisk it all for you” so I stabbed him with a fork
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Sorry I'm 3 days late, I was eating a pomegranate.
November 22, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Sorry I'm 3 days late, I was eating a pomegranate.
She is the voice of reason
November 22, 2025 at 4:03 PM
She is the voice of reason
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Hey homie can I offer you an assortment of leftover Taco Bell hotsauce packets as an hors d'oeuvres?
November 21, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Hey homie can I offer you an assortment of leftover Taco Bell hotsauce packets as an hors d'oeuvres?
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
(Quietly enjoying a pudding cup and a gentle Monkees documentary on PBS)
November 21, 2025 at 3:34 AM
(Quietly enjoying a pudding cup and a gentle Monkees documentary on PBS)
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Woke up 2 hours before my alarm and couldn't get back to sleep so I get it serial killers
November 19, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Woke up 2 hours before my alarm and couldn't get back to sleep so I get it serial killers
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
PERSON GASPING FOR AIR: *pushes epi pen into my hand*
ME: I said no autographs
ME: I said no autographs
November 19, 2025 at 5:12 PM
PERSON GASPING FOR AIR: *pushes epi pen into my hand*
ME: I said no autographs
ME: I said no autographs
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
An all-too-common mistake is inferring the sexuality of historical figures based on contemporary standards that didn’t apply back then. For example, in the 1970s it was normal for a cop, a biker, a Native American, a construction worker, and a cowboy to be friends. It didn’t mean they were gay.
November 19, 2025 at 10:19 PM
An all-too-common mistake is inferring the sexuality of historical figures based on contemporary standards that didn’t apply back then. For example, in the 1970s it was normal for a cop, a biker, a Native American, a construction worker, and a cowboy to be friends. It didn’t mean they were gay.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow
November 18, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow