Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
@justinmatic5000.bsky.social
Rated "pretty ok, I guess" by Robot Aficionado Magazine. Occasionally funny on purpose.
Posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaad2wolqd6v4
Posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaad2wolqd6v4
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
10 things that sort of rhyme with spinach:
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
November 26, 2025 at 1:05 AM
10 things that sort of rhyme with spinach:
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
eating a whole thanksgiving cheesecake would fix me
November 26, 2025 at 4:03 PM
eating a whole thanksgiving cheesecake would fix me
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
The amount of butter in my mashed potatoes could only be described as reckless
November 26, 2025 at 5:04 PM
The amount of butter in my mashed potatoes could only be described as reckless
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
As I age, to protect me from cold, my neck grows more hairs. Some look and feel like barbed wire, to protect me from modeling contracts and affection
November 26, 2025 at 6:29 PM
As I age, to protect me from cold, my neck grows more hairs. Some look and feel like barbed wire, to protect me from modeling contracts and affection
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
DATE: Aren’t you the guy who tells ridiculous lies to try and impress people
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
November 26, 2025 at 6:54 PM
DATE: Aren’t you the guy who tells ridiculous lies to try and impress people
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Cutting out the middleman by inventing a ceiling lightbulb cover that already comes with the dead bugs inside
November 26, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Cutting out the middleman by inventing a ceiling lightbulb cover that already comes with the dead bugs inside
Anyone, anywhere: guess how much i paid for this
Me: no
Me: no
November 26, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Anyone, anywhere: guess how much i paid for this
Me: no
Me: no
My credit score is none of my business
November 26, 2025 at 1:31 AM
My credit score is none of my business
When ADHDing i often find bathroom breaks to be unnecessary side quests
November 26, 2025 at 1:28 AM
When ADHDing i often find bathroom breaks to be unnecessary side quests
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
The test subjects in the beta project today were labelled "testees" and my inner 13 year old absolutely frolicked
November 24, 2025 at 9:58 PM
The test subjects in the beta project today were labelled "testees" and my inner 13 year old absolutely frolicked
Apple is the worst cult of them all
November 25, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Apple is the worst cult of them all
It's customary among my people to get each other with a ping or a head pat. But the practice of going around back and examining each other's printer ports is outdated and kind of rude
November 25, 2025 at 7:45 PM
It's customary among my people to get each other with a ping or a head pat. But the practice of going around back and examining each other's printer ports is outdated and kind of rude
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Days without an accident in everyone contributing the right amount to the check: 0 🏆👑 Congratulations @justinmatic5000.bsky.social from @capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Made the mistake of going to the Cheesecake Factory and now I'm chained up in the assembly line until i meet my quota
November 24, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Days without an accident in everyone contributing the right amount to the check: 0 🏆👑 Congratulations @justinmatic5000.bsky.social from @capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I always knew I’d grow up to be awake in the middle of the night
January 14, 2025 at 8:09 AM
I always knew I’d grow up to be awake in the middle of the night
Welcome to Rizz 101, today I'll be showing you how to lick cheeto dust off of your fingers
November 24, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Welcome to Rizz 101, today I'll be showing you how to lick cheeto dust off of your fingers
Made the mistake of going to the Cheesecake Factory and now I'm chained up in the assembly line until i meet my quota
November 24, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Made the mistake of going to the Cheesecake Factory and now I'm chained up in the assembly line until i meet my quota
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I feel like a lot of us in the comedy world failed the world at large when we stayed silent despite knowing all about Cosby and Louis so let me say right now that Steve Martin has eaten one banjo a year for the last 25 years
November 22, 2025 at 5:00 AM
I feel like a lot of us in the comedy world failed the world at large when we stayed silent despite knowing all about Cosby and Louis so let me say right now that Steve Martin has eaten one banjo a year for the last 25 years
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
If you saw me licking yogurt lids, I wouldn’t be single.
November 22, 2025 at 5:22 AM
If you saw me licking yogurt lids, I wouldn’t be single.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Is it weird that none of my neighbors are strange
squirrel on my shoulder: I don’t think so
squirrel on my shoulder: I don’t think so
November 22, 2025 at 7:50 AM
Is it weird that none of my neighbors are strange
squirrel on my shoulder: I don’t think so
squirrel on my shoulder: I don’t think so
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
My doctor said I should avoid too much excitement so I won’t be using exclamation points for a while.
November 22, 2025 at 11:29 AM
My doctor said I should avoid too much excitement so I won’t be using exclamation points for a while.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
if i was a squirrel my catchphrase would be “pack up your nuts, boys, and get back in the trees cuz mama’s here now”
November 22, 2025 at 1:00 PM
if i was a squirrel my catchphrase would be “pack up your nuts, boys, and get back in the trees cuz mama’s here now”
Trying to convince my kid to do a report on Edith Microwave, inventor of the microwave
November 23, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Trying to convince my kid to do a report on Edith Microwave, inventor of the microwave
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I told my husband he was making too many desserts and he said “I’m willing to whisk it all for you” so I stabbed him with a fork
November 29, 2024 at 1:27 PM
I told my husband he was making too many desserts and he said “I’m willing to whisk it all for you” so I stabbed him with a fork
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Sorry I'm 3 days late, I was eating a pomegranate.
November 22, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Sorry I'm 3 days late, I was eating a pomegranate.
She is the voice of reason
November 22, 2025 at 4:03 PM
She is the voice of reason