misty 🇨🇦
@skedaddle74.bsky.social
▪️ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:go4b7zduspvcwyxjf7p2lu5j/feed/aaadxzvpeukjk
💗my main squeeze: @qwertying.bsky.social
Pinned
“Somebody better take away my credit card before I buy another holiday scented candle!”……I say to the cashier who has seen me 3 times already, today.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
Our Christmas family photo looks like a hostage situation where everyone negotiated their own release.
December 5, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Our Christmas family photo looks like a hostage situation where everyone negotiated their own release.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
If you have to spend Christmas in jail, you’ll most likely get a lump of coal in your stocking. On a positive note:
—You’ll have something to barter.
—You’ll have something to barter.
December 5, 2025 at 5:30 PM
If you have to spend Christmas in jail, you’ll most likely get a lump of coal in your stocking. On a positive note:
—You’ll have something to barter.
—You’ll have something to barter.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
My wife gave the Christmas carolers her very special marijuana eggnog. When they began to leave, the carolers suddenly turned into a progressive jazz band.
—Silent Night got weird.
—Silent Night got weird.
December 5, 2025 at 6:25 PM
My wife gave the Christmas carolers her very special marijuana eggnog. When they began to leave, the carolers suddenly turned into a progressive jazz band.
—Silent Night got weird.
—Silent Night got weird.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
Reverse cowgirl surfers are trendy this year.
December 5, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Reverse cowgirl surfers are trendy this year.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
After many years of being stoned, let’s just say I’m the reason our family photo looks like someone interrupted a synchronized nap.
December 5, 2025 at 6:48 PM
After many years of being stoned, let’s just say I’m the reason our family photo looks like someone interrupted a synchronized nap.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
The Elf on the Shelf is getting out of hand and has me concerned.
He’s reorganized the spice rack. It now reads: “REG RET CUMIN.”
He’s reorganized the spice rack. It now reads: “REG RET CUMIN.”
December 5, 2025 at 11:26 PM
The Elf on the Shelf is getting out of hand and has me concerned.
He’s reorganized the spice rack. It now reads: “REG RET CUMIN.”
He’s reorganized the spice rack. It now reads: “REG RET CUMIN.”
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
I’ll take Pamprin to feel something.
December 6, 2025 at 12:21 AM
I’ll take Pamprin to feel something.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
life’s a numbers game and all i know is the alphabet
December 6, 2025 at 5:37 AM
life’s a numbers game and all i know is the alphabet
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
I don’t mean to brag, but I have more hoodies than I even know what to do with and I keep buying more. Bc hoodies
December 6, 2025 at 5:42 AM
I don’t mean to brag, but I have more hoodies than I even know what to do with and I keep buying more. Bc hoodies
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
I don’t know what that means at all but it involves music and I love music (fun!)
December 6, 2025 at 5:45 AM
I don’t know what that means at all but it involves music and I love music (fun!)
“Somebody better take away my credit card before I buy another holiday scented candle!”……I say to the cashier who has seen me 3 times already, today.
December 6, 2025 at 5:52 AM
“Somebody better take away my credit card before I buy another holiday scented candle!”……I say to the cashier who has seen me 3 times already, today.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
my head tilts sideways like a dog when i read a random good reply
December 5, 2025 at 8:34 PM
my head tilts sideways like a dog when i read a random good reply
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
my husband never has a second cup of the thing he only asks hookers to do in hotels at home
December 5, 2025 at 3:33 PM
my husband never has a second cup of the thing he only asks hookers to do in hotels at home
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting the Spanish Inquisition.
December 5, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting the Spanish Inquisition.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
sorry i scream sang “b-b-b-b-b bennie and the jets” into your baby’s face
December 6, 2025 at 12:57 AM
sorry i scream sang “b-b-b-b-b bennie and the jets” into your baby’s face
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
Wanna make out in the soft glow of the national dumpster fire?
December 6, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Wanna make out in the soft glow of the national dumpster fire?
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
I was sure Mensa would have solved all our problems by now.
December 4, 2025 at 7:21 PM
I was sure Mensa would have solved all our problems by now.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
A Life Alert necklace but for when I need a Slim Jim.
December 6, 2025 at 12:23 AM
A Life Alert necklace but for when I need a Slim Jim.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
[dinosaurs from heaven] i think we made the right choice
December 4, 2025 at 12:56 AM
[dinosaurs from heaven] i think we made the right choice
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
i just want someone to look at me the way my lab looks at a dorito
December 3, 2025 at 11:09 PM
i just want someone to look at me the way my lab looks at a dorito
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
Not sure how I feel about holiday beverages – I’m eggnostic HAHA I wanted to get this joke out one more time before we're all sent to work in the asbestos mines
December 5, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Not sure how I feel about holiday beverages – I’m eggnostic HAHA I wanted to get this joke out one more time before we're all sent to work in the asbestos mines
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
"Nobody" & "Nobody 2" as a double feature for in-house date night.
My wife canceled the date. 😂
My wife canceled the date. 😂
December 6, 2025 at 1:53 AM
"Nobody" & "Nobody 2" as a double feature for in-house date night.
My wife canceled the date. 😂
My wife canceled the date. 😂
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
Them: I would never have guessed your age! You look amazing. What's your secret?
Me: Irresponsibility and immaturity.
Me: Irresponsibility and immaturity.
December 3, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Them: I would never have guessed your age! You look amazing. What's your secret?
Me: Irresponsibility and immaturity.
Me: Irresponsibility and immaturity.
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
the only thing i learn from my mistakes is how to fuck it up even more gloriously the next time
December 5, 2025 at 11:37 AM
the only thing i learn from my mistakes is how to fuck it up even more gloriously the next time
Reposted by misty 🇨🇦
Magnifying mirrors are the best. How else would I know my chin mole actually has 3 hairs growing out of it now
December 6, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Magnifying mirrors are the best. How else would I know my chin mole actually has 3 hairs growing out of it now