Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
Buffoon, Drunk, Failure.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaam3sitppeow
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaam3sitppeow
Pinned
Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
· Dec 23
Don't make me use the chicken scissors.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
What’s your favorite movie about a Jamaican bobsled team competing in the Winter Olympics?
January 27, 2026 at 2:19 PM
What’s your favorite movie about a Jamaican bobsled team competing in the Winter Olympics?
I want to be chloroformed and wake up in different outfits.
January 27, 2026 at 1:28 PM
I want to be chloroformed and wake up in different outfits.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
I just want what every guy wants, a thick thighed roller derby girl to squat over my face.
January 27, 2026 at 1:04 PM
I just want what every guy wants, a thick thighed roller derby girl to squat over my face.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Just reenacted that scene with Han Solo & Leia & carbonite only it was me yelling I LOVE YOU before my hot dog fell into a mud puddle
January 26, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Just reenacted that scene with Han Solo & Leia & carbonite only it was me yelling I LOVE YOU before my hot dog fell into a mud puddle
I have lots of pictures with me and celebrities, but they are all nudes, so I can't share them here.
January 26, 2026 at 11:10 PM
I have lots of pictures with me and celebrities, but they are all nudes, so I can't share them here.
I'm not old, College Kids are just not really adults.
January 26, 2026 at 11:09 PM
I'm not old, College Kids are just not really adults.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Dad, what were you doing when the nazis took over.
I was posting, son. Fighting fascism with my posts.
Can I see them?
No.
I was posting, son. Fighting fascism with my posts.
Can I see them?
No.
Burying my face in her thighs like I’m about about to deliver a baby with my mouth.
Also, ICE must be destroyed.
Also, ICE must be destroyed.
January 26, 2026 at 10:09 PM
Dad, what were you doing when the nazis took over.
I was posting, son. Fighting fascism with my posts.
Can I see them?
No.
I was posting, son. Fighting fascism with my posts.
Can I see them?
No.
Hot dog chapstick.
January 26, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Hot dog chapstick.
Ronald McDonald is a clown, Mayor McCheese is a hamburger man: What the hell is Grimace?
January 26, 2026 at 2:10 PM
Ronald McDonald is a clown, Mayor McCheese is a hamburger man: What the hell is Grimace?
Hot Dog Flavor Aid.
January 26, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Hot Dog Flavor Aid.
Hot dog lolly pop.
January 26, 2026 at 2:09 AM
Hot dog lolly pop.
Hot dog bagel spread.
January 26, 2026 at 2:07 AM
Hot dog bagel spread.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
them: this isn’t who we are
me:
me:
January 24, 2026 at 10:56 PM
them: this isn’t who we are
me:
me:
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Almost time to slip into something more comfortable. A dissociation coma.
January 25, 2026 at 4:00 AM
Almost time to slip into something more comfortable. A dissociation coma.
I'd go skydiving, but I want to have a heart attack on the toilet, like Elvis.
January 25, 2026 at 3:13 PM
I'd go skydiving, but I want to have a heart attack on the toilet, like Elvis.
You know what I love? Nothing, I'm a monster.
January 25, 2026 at 3:12 PM
You know what I love? Nothing, I'm a monster.
I'm ugly on the inside. Where it matters.
January 25, 2026 at 3:08 PM
I'm ugly on the inside. Where it matters.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
I drew a giant dick in the snow on your windshield, please respond
January 22, 2026 at 12:20 PM
I drew a giant dick in the snow on your windshield, please respond
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
In Soviet Russia the clit can't find you.
January 22, 2026 at 9:40 PM
In Soviet Russia the clit can't find you.
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
Your penis left me on read bro
January 19, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Your penis left me on read bro
I didn't think there was any such thing as a sexy clown, but once again Google proved me wrong.
January 23, 2026 at 12:37 AM
I didn't think there was any such thing as a sexy clown, but once again Google proved me wrong.
I’d toot my own horn but I’m not that flexible.
January 22, 2026 at 9:22 PM
I’d toot my own horn but I’m not that flexible.
I call my butthole “She.”
January 22, 2026 at 7:45 PM
I call my butthole “She.”
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
“haven’t you posted that before?” god forbid an artist play their greatest hits
January 21, 2026 at 2:04 AM
“haven’t you posted that before?” god forbid an artist play their greatest hits
Reposted by Uncle Kermit
I need a hug and 5 grand
January 22, 2026 at 4:39 PM
I need a hug and 5 grand