Vidal Bassoon
@vidalbassoon.bsky.social
Here for hot takes and shampoo, and I'm all out of shamp--wait, I think there's still some at the bottom.
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
HARD BOILED DETECTIVE: another cruel sunrise over the city of the damned. another corpse. another widow. another cup of black coffee to drag my sorry ass back to life- *sputtering*
ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin
DETECTIVE:
ME: are you getting apricot notes
ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin
DETECTIVE:
ME: are you getting apricot notes
December 16, 2025 at 12:32 PM
HARD BOILED DETECTIVE: another cruel sunrise over the city of the damned. another corpse. another widow. another cup of black coffee to drag my sorry ass back to life- *sputtering*
ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin
DETECTIVE:
ME: are you getting apricot notes
ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin
DETECTIVE:
ME: are you getting apricot notes
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
The first and most important step when using an oven is to preheat all the pans you store in there to 425.
December 9, 2024 at 6:00 PM
The first and most important step when using an oven is to preheat all the pans you store in there to 425.
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
my special interest is being mad online
November 3, 2025 at 2:51 PM
my special interest is being mad online
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
The two types of museum on any of the Great Lakes:
- Lighthouse Museum (featuring Shipwrecks)
- Shipwreck Museum (featuring Lighthouses)
- Lighthouse Museum (featuring Shipwrecks)
- Shipwreck Museum (featuring Lighthouses)
June 15, 2025 at 8:26 PM
The two types of museum on any of the Great Lakes:
- Lighthouse Museum (featuring Shipwrecks)
- Shipwreck Museum (featuring Lighthouses)
- Lighthouse Museum (featuring Shipwrecks)
- Shipwreck Museum (featuring Lighthouses)
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
my husband is off work today and he told me he is going to that weird chuck e. cheese in NJ to kneel at the foot of the rat and atone for his sins before the rapture happens
September 23, 2025 at 12:36 PM
my husband is off work today and he told me he is going to that weird chuck e. cheese in NJ to kneel at the foot of the rat and atone for his sins before the rapture happens
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
drummers can’t be incels, otherwise they’d be homeless
September 13, 2025 at 12:34 AM
drummers can’t be incels, otherwise they’d be homeless
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
Once you understand that a driving principle of American politics is there is no such thing as a compassionate solution that's cheap enough or a cruel solution that's too expensive, a lot of things click into place.
I think it's possible that Trump's illegal invasion of DC will really in some sense "get rid of the tents." If that happens, elite commentators will rush to praise him and attribute it to the effectiveness of cruelty, and not to the fact that they spent millions of dollars per tent cleared.
August 16, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Once you understand that a driving principle of American politics is there is no such thing as a compassionate solution that's cheap enough or a cruel solution that's too expensive, a lot of things click into place.
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
cold pizza, hot coffee, can't lose
August 15, 2025 at 5:38 PM
cold pizza, hot coffee, can't lose
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
I'm actually developing a sort of thesis by which the harder a boundary is set between the human and natural worlds the less free you are. Roaming your country's wilds is a basic natural right
August 12, 2025 at 12:19 PM
I'm actually developing a sort of thesis by which the harder a boundary is set between the human and natural worlds the less free you are. Roaming your country's wilds is a basic natural right
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
you think mcgruff ever mauled a kid
August 8, 2025 at 11:22 PM
you think mcgruff ever mauled a kid
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Half the graves I need to shit on haven't even been dug yet.
August 2, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Half the graves I need to shit on haven't even been dug yet.
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
"she wears glasses, she looks so smart"
[me googling if sharknado was based on a real event]
[me googling if sharknado was based on a real event]
July 20, 2025 at 12:13 AM
"she wears glasses, she looks so smart"
[me googling if sharknado was based on a real event]
[me googling if sharknado was based on a real event]
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
no kings except the ones under 5'8
June 14, 2025 at 7:25 PM
no kings except the ones under 5'8
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brewing a pot of coffee so strong i'm gonna finish june today
June 8, 2025 at 1:22 PM
brewing a pot of coffee so strong i'm gonna finish june today
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
most of you need to either start going to church or stop going to church, but whatever you're doing isn't working.
April 21, 2025 at 1:44 AM
most of you need to either start going to church or stop going to church, but whatever you're doing isn't working.
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
JESUS: *holds up bread* this is my body
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up hotdog* this is a sandwich lol
JUDAS: ok that DOES IT
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up hotdog* this is a sandwich lol
JUDAS: ok that DOES IT
April 18, 2025 at 2:48 PM
JESUS: *holds up bread* this is my body
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up hotdog* this is a sandwich lol
JUDAS: ok that DOES IT
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up hotdog* this is a sandwich lol
JUDAS: ok that DOES IT
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
Means of production! Seize them today for no money down or 0% APR for 36 months.
April 18, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Means of production! Seize them today for no money down or 0% APR for 36 months.
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
“that’s how i pronounce it!” i shout as i’m being kicked from a zoom meeting that is entirely banal
April 7, 2025 at 11:19 PM
“that’s how i pronounce it!” i shout as i’m being kicked from a zoom meeting that is entirely banal
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*extremely cowboy voice*
Reckon I done been subjected to th' mortifyin' ordeal a bein' known
Reckon I done been subjected to th' mortifyin' ordeal a bein' known
March 29, 2025 at 7:01 PM
*extremely cowboy voice*
Reckon I done been subjected to th' mortifyin' ordeal a bein' known
Reckon I done been subjected to th' mortifyin' ordeal a bein' known
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
pete hegseth is going to feel really shitty when the second groupchat leaks that’s called “houthi war plan no pete”
March 25, 2025 at 9:55 PM
pete hegseth is going to feel really shitty when the second groupchat leaks that’s called “houthi war plan no pete”
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
My daughter has requested a macatacahodo 360 (a taco shell filled with a hot dog, macaroni & cheese, & salsa) for lunch, & as a loving & generous father, I could not say no. I added some orange slices so it would be healthy
February 20, 2025 at 3:44 PM
My daughter has requested a macatacahodo 360 (a taco shell filled with a hot dog, macaroni & cheese, & salsa) for lunch, & as a loving & generous father, I could not say no. I added some orange slices so it would be healthy
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
Valerie Frizzle's students include twenty-seven Ivy League graduates, a Lasker Award recipient, an author longlisted for the Booker Prize, & a three-time Grammy winner. They also include more than 30 students who developed cancer before 40. Some of them are asking: when is an education too messy?
February 18, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Valerie Frizzle's students include twenty-seven Ivy League graduates, a Lasker Award recipient, an author longlisted for the Booker Prize, & a three-time Grammy winner. They also include more than 30 students who developed cancer before 40. Some of them are asking: when is an education too messy?
Reposted by Vidal Bassoon
Warhammer is Precious Moments for people who hate God
November 12, 2024 at 9:13 PM
Warhammer is Precious Moments for people who hate God