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Fomonster Simpson 🎃

@haliphacks.bsky.social

6.3K followers 950 following 460 posts

Keeping it funny on Bluesky since its early days as a radio show. My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk

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Fomonster Simpson 🎃 @haliphacks.bsky.social · 9d

It's the last day of September. If you were ever going to drop that "Wake me up when September ends" skeet, now's the time.

Fomonster Simpson 🎃 @haliphacks.bsky.social · 1d

How to make your very own Matt Damon.

Starting from left to right, a photo of Will Poulter followed by a plus sign then a photo of Jesse Plemons followed by an equal sign then a photo of Matt Damon

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 1d

A Star Wars Sister Act crossover film called Force of Habit

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

stabke @stabke.bsky.social · 2d

I asked the best way to cook brussel sprouts and I’m getting roasted in the comments

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Fomonster Simpson 🎃 @haliphacks.bsky.social · Aug 28

This heat wave is wrecking the grand opening of my sauna and hot drink store.

Fomonster Simpson 🎃 @haliphacks.bsky.social · 2d

Here I am, pop and lock me like a hurricane.

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Miriam @miriamboosh.bsky.social · 3d

FREE LINK YOU MONSTERS

Fomonster Simpson 🎃 @haliphacks.bsky.social · 3d

*roll call in a classroom*

Teacher: Brody?

Brody: Here.

Teacher: Hailey?

Hailey: Here.

Teacher: 1980s German glam metal band Scorpions?

Scorpions: Here I am, rock you like a hurricane.

Fomonster Simpson 🎃 @haliphacks.bsky.social · 4d

Steve Miller dating profile

User name
Space Cowboy

Seeking
Gangster of Love

Bio
Letting the spirit carry me

City
Phoenix, Az all the way to Tacoma

Job
Joker/smoker/midnight toker

Dislikes
Jet airliners carrying me too far away

Likes
Loving peaches
Shaking trees
Maurice

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

🅱️oofessor Killosk 🔪👻 @professorkiosk.wtf · 4d

the old world order is crumbling and all I got was this lousy social media presence

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 4d

you may be "in the know"
but i'm "in the no"

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 5d

You've heard of cocaine bear and cocaine shark, let me introduce you to the most destructive monster yet, COCAINE GOVERNMENT!

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 7d

Be the "ghost that haunts these hallowed halls" that you want to see in this world

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

sophia 🦇♥️🦇 @sophamir.bsky.social · 8d

"you just post for attention!"
im sorry was there another type of posting

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 4d

My date said she wanted “someone stable.”
So I sent her a photo of a horse.
She blocked me.
The horse didn’t.

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

The Oatmeal @theoatmeal.bsky.social · 4d

Good morning. For anyone that needs to hear this:

Boobytrap spelled backwards is partyboob.

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Fomonster Simpson 🎃 @haliphacks.bsky.social · 7d

Me, in my bathroom looking at a medication that was made by a company that went out of business in 2007: I can find a use for this.

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Fomonster Simpson 🎃 @haliphacks.bsky.social · 15d

What bass is it when you mix up sports/sex format jokes with music ones?

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Fomonster Simpson 🎃 @haliphacks.bsky.social · 9d

It's the last day of September. If you were ever going to drop that "Wake me up when September ends" skeet, now's the time.

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 7d

No more Mr Nice Try*

*fails spectacularly

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Boo B 👻🐝 @vtbee80.bsky.social · 12d

it would be nice to have a big spoon sometimes

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

J👻K E @guess-what.bsky.social · 25d

𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬.

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Nate's Myth @natesmith.dev · 6d

funny thing about moving to Seattle is there's a 5% surcharge on your state taxes if you can't name 3 Nirvana songs

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

Michael Rx @mre.bsky.social · 9d

can’t tell if it’s a yearning or a longing or a fart.

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

👻Violet👻Haunting👻(Jellybean Socrates) @violetmusing.bsky.social · 7d

I'm discombobulated a lot, but it's ok...it's my second home.

Reposted by Fomonster Simpson 🎃

𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🪾🍂 @apexamigo.bsky.social · 6d

parents: YOURE GROUNDED

electrician: oh heck yeah