JenX-cellent
@jenx-cellent.bsky.social
I don't care that you drank from the hose. 🍁
Reposted by JenX-cellent
Time to start on my New Year’s retributions.
December 29, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Time to start on my New Year’s retributions.
I'm concerned as to what sort of crimes Barbie has committed that require her to be lashed to the cardboard like Hannibal Lecter.
December 26, 2025 at 7:05 PM
I'm concerned as to what sort of crimes Barbie has committed that require her to be lashed to the cardboard like Hannibal Lecter.
Reposted by JenX-cellent
Text “STOP” to finally stop believin’
October 15, 2024 at 2:46 PM
Text “STOP” to finally stop believin’
Reposted by JenX-cellent
After a person is unmasked as a serial killer, the neighbors always say he was quiet and seemed nice.
So at least I know my neighbors aren’t serial killers.
So at least I know my neighbors aren’t serial killers.
December 21, 2025 at 5:00 PM
After a person is unmasked as a serial killer, the neighbors always say he was quiet and seemed nice.
So at least I know my neighbors aren’t serial killers.
So at least I know my neighbors aren’t serial killers.
Reposted by JenX-cellent
It's a good night to do nothing
December 13, 2025 at 11:10 PM
It's a good night to do nothing
Reposted by JenX-cellent
Dating app that matches you alphabetically. Who even cares anymore.
December 20, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Dating app that matches you alphabetically. Who even cares anymore.
Reposted by JenX-cellent
Make sure you tell the cashier how sorry you are that they have to work on a holiday as you pay for something you could have easily purchased on any other day before or after the holiday, you disingenuous POS.
December 23, 2024 at 6:57 AM
Make sure you tell the cashier how sorry you are that they have to work on a holiday as you pay for something you could have easily purchased on any other day before or after the holiday, you disingenuous POS.
Reposted by JenX-cellent
- Before you quit, you need to leave a two weeks’ notice.
- OK, if two weeks from now you notice that I haven't been showing up, that means I’ve quit.
- OK, if two weeks from now you notice that I haven't been showing up, that means I’ve quit.
February 20, 2025 at 9:36 PM
- Before you quit, you need to leave a two weeks’ notice.
- OK, if two weeks from now you notice that I haven't been showing up, that means I’ve quit.
- OK, if two weeks from now you notice that I haven't been showing up, that means I’ve quit.
Reposted by JenX-cellent
*throws elf on the shelf in the wood chipper
December 18, 2025 at 3:31 AM
*throws elf on the shelf in the wood chipper
Reposted by JenX-cellent
Our elf on the shelf cries itself to sleep at night
December 14, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Our elf on the shelf cries itself to sleep at night
Reposted by JenX-cellent
It's that special time of year when angry conservatives going around hissing "Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!" to baffled baristas through clenched teeth.
December 6, 2025 at 5:07 PM
It's that special time of year when angry conservatives going around hissing "Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!" to baffled baristas through clenched teeth.
Windchimes are like listening to a preschool class during circle music time, where everyone has a different instrument and no one is playing the same song.
December 3, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Windchimes are like listening to a preschool class during circle music time, where everyone has a different instrument and no one is playing the same song.
Reposted by JenX-cellent
we need an untethered disney princess whose rage knows no bounds
November 30, 2025 at 8:51 PM
we need an untethered disney princess whose rage knows no bounds
Did we ever figure out where all the cowboys went?
November 30, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Did we ever figure out where all the cowboys went?
Reposted by JenX-cellent
This whisky tastes a lot like I won’t be going to work tomorrow.
January 21, 2025 at 2:23 PM
This whisky tastes a lot like I won’t be going to work tomorrow.
Reposted by JenX-cellent
hate it when people brag about their extravaganzas when some of us don’t have any vaganzas at all
November 28, 2025 at 5:01 PM
hate it when people brag about their extravaganzas when some of us don’t have any vaganzas at all
Reposted by JenX-cellent
My party trick is not showing up
November 28, 2025 at 5:13 PM
My party trick is not showing up
Reposted by JenX-cellent
In lieu of thanksgiving I suggest holding a sort of family court convicting your most annoying relatives of various offenses
November 26, 2025 at 6:32 PM
In lieu of thanksgiving I suggest holding a sort of family court convicting your most annoying relatives of various offenses
Reposted by JenX-cellent
good news, my therapist said I'm cured and to never contact her again
November 11, 2025 at 11:12 PM
good news, my therapist said I'm cured and to never contact her again
I just remembered I'm still 'It' from the last game of Tag I played forty years ago. Now I must go outside today and transfer this burden to someone else.
November 15, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I just remembered I'm still 'It' from the last game of Tag I played forty years ago. Now I must go outside today and transfer this burden to someone else.
People my age are extremely tiresome.
November 11, 2025 at 9:10 PM
People my age are extremely tiresome.
Reposted by JenX-cellent
on facebook everyone is fighting a battle they won’t fucking shut up about
November 6, 2025 at 5:48 PM
on facebook everyone is fighting a battle they won’t fucking shut up about