@loho23.bsky.social
Why doesn’t anyone ever say “Be sure to dot your j’s and cross your z’s”?
December 12, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Why doesn’t anyone ever say “Be sure to dot your j’s and cross your z’s”?
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Head of lettuce sounds like a big responsibility.
December 6, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Head of lettuce sounds like a big responsibility.
I think it’s so funny hearing people say they love the cold weather so they can wear and drink thinks that keep them warm.
December 5, 2025 at 11:50 PM
I think it’s so funny hearing people say they love the cold weather so they can wear and drink thinks that keep them warm.
Funny how my house shrinks to 35% of its size when I need to find a place to store something, and increases to 200% of its size when I need to find something.
December 4, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Funny how my house shrinks to 35% of its size when I need to find a place to store something, and increases to 200% of its size when I need to find something.
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Hard to know when someone is hitchhiking or just like really supportive
October 28, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Hard to know when someone is hitchhiking or just like really supportive
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Hmmm . . . I wonder how much more successful I'd be if some of my ancestors had just married for money and not for love.
September 30, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Hmmm . . . I wonder how much more successful I'd be if some of my ancestors had just married for money and not for love.
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ISAAC NEWTON: i have just discovered gravity
EVERYONE ELSE: hey how come i can't float around anymore
EVERYONE ELSE: hey how come i can't float around anymore
September 25, 2025 at 11:04 PM
ISAAC NEWTON: i have just discovered gravity
EVERYONE ELSE: hey how come i can't float around anymore
EVERYONE ELSE: hey how come i can't float around anymore
So, when do the Dolphins begin playing football this season?
It certainly wasn’t yesterday.
It certainly wasn’t yesterday.
September 8, 2025 at 12:32 PM
So, when do the Dolphins begin playing football this season?
It certainly wasn’t yesterday.
It certainly wasn’t yesterday.
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South Dakota Plans To Redistrict Stalled Because They Only Have One District
August 21, 2025 at 7:40 PM
South Dakota Plans To Redistrict Stalled Because They Only Have One District
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If I had psychic powers, I wouldn't be surprised.
August 26, 2025 at 1:17 PM
If I had psychic powers, I wouldn't be surprised.
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ME: careful there is a bee on that tree lim
WIFE: limb has a b at the end
ME: i literally just said that diane
WIFE: limb has a b at the end
ME: i literally just said that diane
August 26, 2025 at 5:06 PM
ME: careful there is a bee on that tree lim
WIFE: limb has a b at the end
ME: i literally just said that diane
WIFE: limb has a b at the end
ME: i literally just said that diane
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YODA: yoda my name is
LUKE: how do you spell it
YODA: *starts sweating*
LUKE: how do you spell it
YODA: *starts sweating*
August 26, 2025 at 11:01 PM
YODA: yoda my name is
LUKE: how do you spell it
YODA: *starts sweating*
LUKE: how do you spell it
YODA: *starts sweating*
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We’ve never seen such division in this country, and I suspect that there’s multiplication, addition and subtraction happening, too.
MATH MUST BE STOPPED
MATH MUST BE STOPPED
January 30, 2025 at 10:24 AM
We’ve never seen such division in this country, and I suspect that there’s multiplication, addition and subtraction happening, too.
MATH MUST BE STOPPED
MATH MUST BE STOPPED
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[interview]
HR: Can you give me an example of your problem solving skills
Me: I was fired from my last job and now i'm applying for this one
HR: Can you give me an example of your problem solving skills
Me: I was fired from my last job and now i'm applying for this one
August 21, 2025 at 11:03 AM
[interview]
HR: Can you give me an example of your problem solving skills
Me: I was fired from my last job and now i'm applying for this one
HR: Can you give me an example of your problem solving skills
Me: I was fired from my last job and now i'm applying for this one
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INTERVIEWER: what makes you think you are right for the drive-thru job
DONALD DUCK: *says something completely unintelligible*
INTERVIEWER: congratulations you’re hired
DONALD DUCK: *says something completely unintelligible*
INTERVIEWER: congratulations you’re hired
August 17, 2025 at 3:01 PM
INTERVIEWER: what makes you think you are right for the drive-thru job
DONALD DUCK: *says something completely unintelligible*
INTERVIEWER: congratulations you’re hired
DONALD DUCK: *says something completely unintelligible*
INTERVIEWER: congratulations you’re hired
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People who tell you to “expect the unexpected” don’t know how expecting works.
January 23, 2024 at 10:45 AM
People who tell you to “expect the unexpected” don’t know how expecting works.
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All I'm saying is they could've spelled 'efficient' with fewer letters
August 13, 2025 at 8:03 PM
All I'm saying is they could've spelled 'efficient' with fewer letters
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There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
December 8, 2024 at 12:48 AM
There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
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SON: dad what’s the difference between present tense and past tense?
ME:
ME:
August 3, 2025 at 12:12 AM
SON: dad what’s the difference between present tense and past tense?
ME:
ME:
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i got rid of all my stubborn belly fat by eating a pizza. now it’s happy belly fat
August 2, 2025 at 6:00 PM
i got rid of all my stubborn belly fat by eating a pizza. now it’s happy belly fat
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“Fossil Fuel” is the name of my new catering service for nursing homes.
August 2, 2025 at 4:38 PM
“Fossil Fuel” is the name of my new catering service for nursing homes.
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caveman: wanna go hunting with me?
wife: can I bring my sister?
caveman: no, she'd be a third wheel
wife: a what?
caveman: never mind, just something i'm working on
wife: can I bring my sister?
caveman: no, she'd be a third wheel
wife: a what?
caveman: never mind, just something i'm working on
July 18, 2025 at 1:25 PM
caveman: wanna go hunting with me?
wife: can I bring my sister?
caveman: no, she'd be a third wheel
wife: a what?
caveman: never mind, just something i'm working on
wife: can I bring my sister?
caveman: no, she'd be a third wheel
wife: a what?
caveman: never mind, just something i'm working on
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People who write sentence fragments.
October 12, 2023 at 9:40 AM
People who write sentence fragments.
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my grandpa was illiterate so i have no idea if this ouija board is working or not
June 13, 2025 at 12:15 PM
my grandpa was illiterate so i have no idea if this ouija board is working or not