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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 17h

The pride of saying "yes" when someone asks "have you shopped with us before?" Witness my loyalty, lay coupons at my feet

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midnightviolets.bsky.social @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 3d

please hesitate to reach out to me

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 1d

Merlin Monroe

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 1d

everything is a joke but nothing is funny anymore

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 1d

it’s 743 don’t forget to feel bad about yourself

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 2d

I received a text from my bank just saying “yikes”.

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 1d

Drinking Miller lite out of a wine glass who gives a shit anymore

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 1d

Whenever you feel alone remember that there are a lot of people in your life that can barely tolerate you but they do anyway

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Ron Sexsmith @ronsexsmith.bsky.social · 1d

Here's the story of an extra tall giraffe
You might say a giraffe and a half!
Even her calf was a calf and a half
The giraffe and her calf sure loved to laugh
Especially over two cups of decaf
The giraffe and a half and her calf and a half
Would laugh and laugh while sipping' on their decafs! RS

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Ron Sexsmith @ronsexsmith.bsky.social · 1d

ME: Say, is that one of those anti-bullying bracelets?
KID: Yea, I took it from some weakling in the playground... RS

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 1d

waiter: would you like some capers with your pasta

batman: what

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 3d

Inappropriate laughter is twice as medicinal.

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Leen McBeans 🦇 @leenmcbeans.bsky.social · 2d

White people hate being called racist more than they hate racism

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Sean T. Collins @seantcollins.com · 2d

CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.

ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't

CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.

ISILDUR: true