Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
@swordgoesfwoosh.bsky.social
I am extremely powerful.
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
(Waiter accidentally brings me the wrong dish)
Friend: "Wait, isn't that chicken? I thought you were vegan?"
Me:
Friend: "Wait, isn't that chicken? I thought you were vegan?"
Me:
November 10, 2025 at 7:18 AM
(Waiter accidentally brings me the wrong dish)
Friend: "Wait, isn't that chicken? I thought you were vegan?"
Me:
Friend: "Wait, isn't that chicken? I thought you were vegan?"
Me:
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
tears are just eye piss
November 9, 2025 at 6:40 PM
tears are just eye piss
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
I’m sorry, Mom, I can’t help you at your house today; I’m too busy watching unhinged Minecraft content on TikTok.
November 3, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I’m sorry, Mom, I can’t help you at your house today; I’m too busy watching unhinged Minecraft content on TikTok.
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
why can’t the side effects from a prescription be something cool like levitation or the ability to cast spells
October 28, 2025 at 2:45 PM
why can’t the side effects from a prescription be something cool like levitation or the ability to cast spells
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Frictionless brain activity
October 28, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Frictionless brain activity
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
They have invented a new kind of porn
October 27, 2025 at 7:15 AM
They have invented a new kind of porn
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
GO! MY labubu_missile! KILL!!
September 28, 2025 at 11:47 PM
GO! MY labubu_missile! KILL!!
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Introducing my poker loving dad to cocaine
October 12, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Introducing my poker loving dad to cocaine
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis
> It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis
> It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis
October 11, 2025 at 5:32 PM
> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis
> It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis
> It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Feel like Waluigi would be on the Epstein flight logs but not Wario and I think that’s the fundamental difference between the characters
October 12, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Feel like Waluigi would be on the Epstein flight logs but not Wario and I think that’s the fundamental difference between the characters
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Not a cell phone in sight. Just ppl living in the moment
September 27, 2025 at 5:55 AM
Not a cell phone in sight. Just ppl living in the moment
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
It finally came true…
September 25, 2025 at 8:02 AM
It finally came true…
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
who up jacking to the Iowa memorial for the war of the rebellion 1861-65
Des Moines has you all beat
September 24, 2025 at 7:29 AM
who up jacking to the Iowa memorial for the war of the rebellion 1861-65
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
“I never see you at the club.”
Ok I never see you in the haunted woods making questionable deals with the fae.
Ok I never see you in the haunted woods making questionable deals with the fae.
August 27, 2025 at 11:56 PM
“I never see you at the club.”
Ok I never see you in the haunted woods making questionable deals with the fae.
Ok I never see you in the haunted woods making questionable deals with the fae.
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
these dating apps are getting niche
June 28, 2023 at 8:11 PM
these dating apps are getting niche
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
The mcdonalds cholesterol in Trump's arteries vs the US government's military grade dialysis machine rn
August 30, 2025 at 7:38 AM
The mcdonalds cholesterol in Trump's arteries vs the US government's military grade dialysis machine rn
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Remember 2015 when we were all 25 years younger
August 28, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Remember 2015 when we were all 25 years younger
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
Strange things are happening.
August 28, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Strange things are happening.
Reposted by Newton's Flaming Laser Sword
To all my followers, forever
August 15, 2025 at 11:33 PM
To all my followers, forever