@thomaskellet.bsky.social
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Winning the Nothing is Everything Bowl and my players dump a gatorade cooler full of Skyrizi® on me, causing my skin and bowels to become superhumanly smooth
December 25, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Winning the Nothing is Everything Bowl and my players dump a gatorade cooler full of Skyrizi® on me, causing my skin and bowels to become superhumanly smooth
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*comes up for air*
Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom so underrated
Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom so underrated
December 17, 2025 at 2:43 AM
*comes up for air*
Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom so underrated
Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom so underrated
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So apparently there’s another show named Bluey and Infuse was slightly confused…
August 24, 2025 at 1:52 AM
So apparently there’s another show named Bluey and Infuse was slightly confused…
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the east coast: I drew you a nice, hot bath
me: in the bathtub?
the east coast: in the air all around you :)
the east coast: there is no escape :)
me: in the bathtub?
the east coast: in the air all around you :)
the east coast: there is no escape :)
July 2, 2025 at 9:36 PM
the east coast: I drew you a nice, hot bath
me: in the bathtub?
the east coast: in the air all around you :)
the east coast: there is no escape :)
me: in the bathtub?
the east coast: in the air all around you :)
the east coast: there is no escape :)
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I get the same emails as Frankenstein
June 22, 2025 at 1:22 AM
I get the same emails as Frankenstein
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heartwarming video of man who just received cochlear implant hearing the video of the lady who fell and hurt herself stomping grapes on the news for the first time
June 8, 2025 at 1:24 PM
heartwarming video of man who just received cochlear implant hearing the video of the lady who fell and hurt herself stomping grapes on the news for the first time
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My 1st time in Japan, long ago, we saw this guy driving a tiny lil custom truck, singing a phrase through a loudspeaker. The melody was gentle, spiritual. We asked our translator “What’s he singing?” She said “He’s saying ‘baaaaked potaaatoooo.’ It is baked potato truck.” I think about that a lot.
May 30, 2025 at 10:53 PM
My 1st time in Japan, long ago, we saw this guy driving a tiny lil custom truck, singing a phrase through a loudspeaker. The melody was gentle, spiritual. We asked our translator “What’s he singing?” She said “He’s saying ‘baaaaked potaaatoooo.’ It is baked potato truck.” I think about that a lot.
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Watching Jurassic Park, where a computer nerd with a debt problem and delusions of grandeur tears down all the safety systems, with no understanding of the consequences, so he can better facilitate his planned espionage and theft.
March 15, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Watching Jurassic Park, where a computer nerd with a debt problem and delusions of grandeur tears down all the safety systems, with no understanding of the consequences, so he can better facilitate his planned espionage and theft.
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got the severance procedure but just so I could make a guy who does all my bathroom stuff. it’s been like a month and he still has no fucking clue what to do in there. I tried leaving him some pictograms explaining the toilet but he’s developed it into a sort of folk religion
March 14, 2025 at 3:08 AM
got the severance procedure but just so I could make a guy who does all my bathroom stuff. it’s been like a month and he still has no fucking clue what to do in there. I tried leaving him some pictograms explaining the toilet but he’s developed it into a sort of folk religion
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I’m going to enjoy voting against John Fetterman more than I’ve enjoyed voting against anyone except mayyyybe Santorum and there’s a long time for that order to change
March 13, 2025 at 11:19 PM
I’m going to enjoy voting against John Fetterman more than I’ve enjoyed voting against anyone except mayyyybe Santorum and there’s a long time for that order to change
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cannot overstate the level of contempt i have for vance
February 28, 2025 at 6:02 PM
cannot overstate the level of contempt i have for vance
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The next Bond movie will be titled "Time to Die Mister Bond, Handcrafted Artisanal Film Movie for Men – Perfecf Christmas Gift and Funny Realistic Spy Gag, Harmless Entertainment Prank for Kids and Adults, Realistic Vanilla Scent 7.9 Ounce Motion Picture (Pack of 1)"
February 20, 2025 at 3:26 PM
The next Bond movie will be titled "Time to Die Mister Bond, Handcrafted Artisanal Film Movie for Men – Perfecf Christmas Gift and Funny Realistic Spy Gag, Harmless Entertainment Prank for Kids and Adults, Realistic Vanilla Scent 7.9 Ounce Motion Picture (Pack of 1)"
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My illegal Pinkerton is driving me to my illegal hotel while the hallucination machine in my phone summarizes the emails my coworkers wrote using their hallucination machines. My burrito travels separately in its own limo. This is innovation and normal.
February 18, 2025 at 2:37 PM
My illegal Pinkerton is driving me to my illegal hotel while the hallucination machine in my phone summarizes the emails my coworkers wrote using their hallucination machines. My burrito travels separately in its own limo. This is innovation and normal.
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Not to flex but anyone who followed Elon's hyperloop arc saw this coming a mile away. He said he could save 90% over high speed rail by ... buying land cheaper.
That was it, he never offered any further specifics and the media utterly failed to convey how much of a charlatan he was.
That was it, he never offered any further specifics and the media utterly failed to convey how much of a charlatan he was.
Elon Musk is an idiot on an almost inconceivable scale. He had his high-school toadies pull a random list from a database he doesn’t understand, and on that basis alone decided that 60 MILLION SOCIAL SECURITY ENROLLEES, out of 72 million total, are fraudulent. 83% fraudulent!
February 17, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Not to flex but anyone who followed Elon's hyperloop arc saw this coming a mile away. He said he could save 90% over high speed rail by ... buying land cheaper.
That was it, he never offered any further specifics and the media utterly failed to convey how much of a charlatan he was.
That was it, he never offered any further specifics and the media utterly failed to convey how much of a charlatan he was.
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what happens when you get a million in credit card debt, does capitol one send jennifer garner to break your kneecaps
February 8, 2025 at 3:11 AM
what happens when you get a million in credit card debt, does capitol one send jennifer garner to break your kneecaps
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JD Vance will really be like "you believe in loving thy neighbor? That pales in comparison to my strategy, loving my family first" and then not love his family.
February 7, 2025 at 10:49 PM
JD Vance will really be like "you believe in loving thy neighbor? That pales in comparison to my strategy, loving my family first" and then not love his family.
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Vance: "he has an IQ of 110 but thinks he has an IQ of 130"
Any normal person:
Any normal person:
January 31, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Vance: "he has an IQ of 110 but thinks he has an IQ of 130"
Any normal person:
Any normal person:
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football players are all like gimme that coconut it’s mine! and tennis players are all like fuck this lemon i hate it so much
January 26, 2025 at 10:39 PM
football players are all like gimme that coconut it’s mine! and tennis players are all like fuck this lemon i hate it so much
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why did this guy convert to catholicism again?
JD Vance to CBS
"the US Conference of Catholic Bishops needs to actually look in the mirror a little bit and recognize that when they receive over $100 million to help resettle illegal immigrants, are they worried about humanitarian concerns? Or are they actually worried about their bottom line?"
"the US Conference of Catholic Bishops needs to actually look in the mirror a little bit and recognize that when they receive over $100 million to help resettle illegal immigrants, are they worried about humanitarian concerns? Or are they actually worried about their bottom line?"
January 26, 2025 at 1:07 PM
why did this guy convert to catholicism again?
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The converts to Catholicism truly hate the modern Catholicism I learned about at a Jesuit school and are in it for the fire and brimstone
JD Vance to CBS
"the US Conference of Catholic Bishops needs to actually look in the mirror a little bit and recognize that when they receive over $100 million to help resettle illegal immigrants, are they worried about humanitarian concerns? Or are they actually worried about their bottom line?"
"the US Conference of Catholic Bishops needs to actually look in the mirror a little bit and recognize that when they receive over $100 million to help resettle illegal immigrants, are they worried about humanitarian concerns? Or are they actually worried about their bottom line?"
January 26, 2025 at 4:50 PM
The converts to Catholicism truly hate the modern Catholicism I learned about at a Jesuit school and are in it for the fire and brimstone
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(elon unveiling his new martian flag design) well as you uh can, you know, see. there's red which of course uh is the mars color. duh ha ha. and then here a white circle, and this is um representing the bright future for the ahh, human race. and then uh you have so, this is a hindu symbol,
January 21, 2025 at 1:26 AM
(elon unveiling his new martian flag design) well as you uh can, you know, see. there's red which of course uh is the mars color. duh ha ha. and then here a white circle, and this is um representing the bright future for the ahh, human race. and then uh you have so, this is a hindu symbol,
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Tips for finding the right guy. Ladies, if you are interested in a fella, ask him how many swords he owns. You want the answer to be somewhere in the neighborhood of zero.
January 8, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Tips for finding the right guy. Ladies, if you are interested in a fella, ask him how many swords he owns. You want the answer to be somewhere in the neighborhood of zero.
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*playing a California Raisins record for a friend* Pretty good right? These are raisins playing all the instruments
November 7, 2024 at 10:11 PM
*playing a California Raisins record for a friend* Pretty good right? These are raisins playing all the instruments
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