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@dopeshow.bsky.social

2.1K followers 930 following 2K posts

Cigarette butt collector, esquire. Legal Advice: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7kbe2ppvlcrszkduecbj4syj/feed/aaai5iu6grewk

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · Sep 9

One day you'll make your little DIY toilet seat cover with three pieces of tissue paper for the very last time

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 22m

Are we still mad at that WikiLeaks guy from Powder?

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Jackie Bouvier @jackiebouvier.bsky.social · 7d

I keep buying clothes because they look great on the tall blonde model forgetting that I'm a short troll.

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Jackie Bouvier @jackiebouvier.bsky.social · 1h

I'm so much more attractive in the Fall.

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AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 13h

Mr Rogers was probably a really generous lover

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korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 1h

The nice thing about having such a dark imagination is that it makes living through nightmares relatively easy.

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Frostbitten Flamingo @flemtheparrot.bsky.social · 7h

Them: if they wanted to, they would
Me: I want to and I don’t. Your point being...?

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 13h

I see you reposted me. Is it because your wife is out of town?

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trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 1h

real shitposters only use lower case because we are anti-capitalism

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-scary dr. booty @justbrady.bsky.social · 2h

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It’s Dana, actually @hourlongsauce.bsky.social · 21h

All I want is for someone to do TikTok dances with me. Is that too much to ask?

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It’s Dana, actually @hourlongsauce.bsky.social · Aug 22

I just want you to know that I love your cat.

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 2h

There is no pain like being muted by your SkyCrush

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 12h

If you flip my couch cushions you won’t find spare change, just an alarming number of Cadbury micro mini eggs.

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 11h

*takes a drag off a cigarette* I remember when I had a favorite notification

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 1d

EVERYONE: come to Mastodon, it's so easy and fun now!

ME:

a post it that berger used to break up w/ carrie in sex and the city that says "i'm sorry i can't don't hate me"

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🎃punkin spice spooky geist💀 @pretty-vulgar.bsky.social · 1d

*brings a fresh batch of shortbread with lemon curd and marmalade to a knife fight*

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 2h

Making direct eye contact with both my urinal neighbours to say "I'm ambidextrous"

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 2h

It's shocking how often I'm almost late for work at 9am for someone who is usually up between 2-3am each day

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Chicken the Friendly Ghost 👻 @vermontchicken.bsky.social · 1d

My people, I had the first "normal" dream I've had in months (that I remember, anyway)!

There was flying and breathing underwater and superpowers and traveling through reality and everything else one might want from an epic, crazy dream.

I went back to sleep twice trying to get back in.