Author | Lightnews

cunty

@cunty.social

650 followers 280 following 500 posts

Basically just another prick yeah https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ocmkzd7qdxqlynt5pryk4y6v/feed/aaaigme7fyoqe

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cunty @cunty.social · Mar 11

Wise the fuck up. Next customer.

(Me as a therapist)

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cunty @cunty.social · 1d

Elisabeth is just several shorter names in a trench coat.

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cunty @cunty.social · 2d

Where does Han Solo go to get spooky tattoos?

Tattoo-ween

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cunty @cunty.social · 11d

There is never redemption any fool can regret yesterday

~ Richey Edwards

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cunty @cunty.social · 19d

Every time there’s a birth on a tv show I point out that much like all tv babies it’ll be born 3 months old. I’m usually right. Sometimes it’s born as a cgi.

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cunty @cunty.social · 21d

wait for game session availability -> set graphics mode -> customise audio options -> watch intro videos for each of the 14 characters you selected for your team -> loading -> stage intro animation -> loading again -> match announcement -> play game

Really, I don’t see the problem?

cunty @cunty.social · 21d

Campaign -> select character -> customise character -> select clothing -> customise clothing - select team -> enter lobby -> customise game options -> start game -> customise session -> await session from server -> set team options -> customise vehicle - customise character again for some reason ->

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Reposted by cunty

BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 22d

I loaded Street Fighter onto my Nintendo Switch 2 and like when tf did video games find it necessary to have these long ass intro videos? I think its been playing for three straight days when tf do I get to play the game?

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Reposted by cunty

RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 21d

so we can fit one thousand islands into a bottle of salad dressing but when it comes to human rights politicians are like ehhhh that’s a little too hard to figure out y’all.

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Reposted by cunty

GenAARRrggHHHvieve 🍂 @gensibayan.bsky.social · 26d

Hotel Chocolat doesn't have hot chocolate you can make in a hotel. This is upsetting for a number of reasons. In this essay I will...

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Reposted by cunty

Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 26d

going to travel back in time to be a god
until my battery dies

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Reposted by cunty

Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 26d

I took the dog for a wok. I don't know why. He can't cook for shit.

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Reposted by cunty

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 26d

all of my retirement hopes now rest entirely with my partial collection of commemorative state quarters, a complete set of encyclopedias from 1974, some slap bracelets, a dozen slightly scratched k-tel records, and my final unused gwyneth paltrow vagina candle

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Emma Bolden @emmabolden.bsky.social · 26d

all dolled up: i put on makeup

all Dalí’ed up: i put on makeup without my contacts in

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cunty @cunty.social · 26d

It does, thanks!

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Reposted by cunty

Les 💫 @lesdoncorleone.bsky.social · 26d

If it makes you any happier, you are the dumbest engineer I’ve ever met

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cunty @cunty.social · 26d

Welp. It finally happened. Amazon drivers take note, if you deliver cardboard packages into my cardboard recycling bin don’t be surprised when the council take them to the tip before I get to retrieve them. Yes I will have a refund on that stuff thanks.

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Reposted by cunty

RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · Sep 21

the rapture is tuesday which means earth will soon become the biggest thrift shop ever.

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Reposted by cunty

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · Sep 21

Me: Is that Elizabeth the Goth?

Them: Whoa! It’s Black Betty.

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Reposted by cunty

snargleplax @snargleplax.bsky.social · Sep 21

was gonna plant a bunch of flower bulbs but they were too heavy so I switched to light bulbs

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Reposted by cunty

mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · Sep 20

My nine year old: Are you cool?

Me: I guess so, yeah

9 y o: You're a constipated, overrated, outright loser?

and then he laughed for seven minutes

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Reposted by cunty

Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface.bsky.social · Sep 21

These days you say something weird once and thanks to social media, the next day everybody’s saying it. Y’all don’t understand what dedication to the craft really means. I spent 1993-1998 calling taking a leak “dropping an ace” until I heard a stranger say it in the men’s room line at a Red Sox game

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Reposted by cunty

Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · Sep 21

Feels like I have the flu but like emotionally

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Reposted by cunty

mike☺︎ (discount dracula) @m1keonl1ne.bsky.social · Sep 21

I'd say I'm more of an Indiana Jokes

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Reposted by cunty

CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · Sep 21

Snacks at my place after the rapture.

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cunty @cunty.social · Sep 21

The plural for Legend of Zelda games is “Zeldas of Legend”

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