New lettuce
@lettuce.bsky.social
There's no business
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iospu3tavlzqplkpbgpiz6nb/feed/aaafjks2ddefk
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iospu3tavlzqplkpbgpiz6nb/feed/aaafjks2ddefk
Pinned
New lettuce
@lettuce.bsky.social
· Nov 7
[after learning about how muscles work] oh so we're marionettes from the inside
Reposted by New lettuce
Hunderfossen Adventure Park in Norway (Rauraggen)
February 10, 2026 at 4:25 AM
Hunderfossen Adventure Park in Norway (Rauraggen)
Reposted by New lettuce
Reposted by New lettuce
My cats like to stand on either side of the doorway and cross their halberds when I try to get through
February 9, 2026 at 1:41 AM
My cats like to stand on either side of the doorway and cross their halberds when I try to get through
Reposted by New lettuce
What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss? Anton Chigurh here for FanDuel,
February 8, 2026 at 11:49 PM
What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss? Anton Chigurh here for FanDuel,
Reposted by New lettuce
there aren't any hunting accidents if we all just hunt each other
January 22, 2026 at 12:31 AM
there aren't any hunting accidents if we all just hunt each other
Reposted by New lettuce
eat lasers you pickled bitch
February 9, 2026 at 2:24 AM
eat lasers you pickled bitch
Reposted by New lettuce
“Mr. Beast Salesforce ad” - they’re calling it the least appealing phrase ever assembled in any language. They finally did it
February 9, 2026 at 2:32 AM
“Mr. Beast Salesforce ad” - they’re calling it the least appealing phrase ever assembled in any language. They finally did it
Reposted by New lettuce
Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night
February 9, 2026 at 12:38 AM
Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night
Reposted by New lettuce
They’re introducing The Ultimate Chore this weekend
February 7, 2026 at 12:43 AM
They’re introducing The Ultimate Chore this weekend
Holy crud the Olympic flame is a Hoberman sphere
February 6, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Holy crud the Olympic flame is a Hoberman sphere
One of my favorite activities is having fun
February 6, 2026 at 10:05 PM
One of my favorite activities is having fun
Reposted by New lettuce
[mcdonald's drive thru]
me: one burger please
drive thru: ok one murder, got it
me: i'm sorry what
(in a flash Grimace is ripping the door off my car)
me: one burger please
drive thru: ok one murder, got it
me: i'm sorry what
(in a flash Grimace is ripping the door off my car)
January 18, 2024 at 2:41 PM
[mcdonald's drive thru]
me: one burger please
drive thru: ok one murder, got it
me: i'm sorry what
(in a flash Grimace is ripping the door off my car)
me: one burger please
drive thru: ok one murder, got it
me: i'm sorry what
(in a flash Grimace is ripping the door off my car)
Guys the Olympics parade of nations is wild
February 6, 2026 at 8:49 PM
Guys the Olympics parade of nations is wild
Get Skincare Poirot on the case
oh fuck yeah we are Olympics maxxing already
February 6, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Get Skincare Poirot on the case
Reposted by New lettuce
local who can tell im a tourist: enjoy the city just don’t go to uptown after dark there’s a very specific gang up there
me: I’ll be fine
[10pm and the salsa boys have me cornered]
me: I’ll be fine
[10pm and the salsa boys have me cornered]
February 4, 2026 at 2:36 PM
local who can tell im a tourist: enjoy the city just don’t go to uptown after dark there’s a very specific gang up there
me: I’ll be fine
[10pm and the salsa boys have me cornered]
me: I’ll be fine
[10pm and the salsa boys have me cornered]
Reposted by New lettuce
DYK @nafmcpodcast.bsky.social did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine under the name of Mike Honcho.
We watched Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Join
Driver @thenatewolf.bsky.social
Pit Crew @murrman5.bsky.social
Crew Chief @ladybroseph.bsky.social
open.spotify.com/episode/6xWt...
We watched Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Join
Driver @thenatewolf.bsky.social
Pit Crew @murrman5.bsky.social
Crew Chief @ladybroseph.bsky.social
open.spotify.com/episode/6xWt...
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
open.spotify.com
February 5, 2026 at 7:55 PM
DYK @nafmcpodcast.bsky.social did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine under the name of Mike Honcho.
We watched Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Join
Driver @thenatewolf.bsky.social
Pit Crew @murrman5.bsky.social
Crew Chief @ladybroseph.bsky.social
open.spotify.com/episode/6xWt...
We watched Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Join
Driver @thenatewolf.bsky.social
Pit Crew @murrman5.bsky.social
Crew Chief @ladybroseph.bsky.social
open.spotify.com/episode/6xWt...
Reposted by New lettuce
My anxiety dreams just can't keep up with my waking anxiety. Last night, for example, I dreamt that I bought an extra-large bunch of bananas that were already bright yellow. This is the worst you've got, unconscious? Seriously?
February 5, 2026 at 11:09 PM
My anxiety dreams just can't keep up with my waking anxiety. Last night, for example, I dreamt that I bought an extra-large bunch of bananas that were already bright yellow. This is the worst you've got, unconscious? Seriously?
Reposted by New lettuce
I get a deal on everything because my dad works everywhere
February 6, 2026 at 2:47 AM
I get a deal on everything because my dad works everywhere
Reposted by New lettuce
(Having a sip of beer and DMing my chivalrous virtues chat) Courage is so goated dude (Having another sip and texting my squire) my Garb looked like shit today btw...
November 15, 2024 at 6:44 PM
(Having a sip of beer and DMing my chivalrous virtues chat) Courage is so goated dude (Having another sip and texting my squire) my Garb looked like shit today btw...
[Saint Peter showing me a pie chart] And this is the time you spent swearing at inanimate objects
February 4, 2026 at 10:01 PM
[Saint Peter showing me a pie chart] And this is the time you spent swearing at inanimate objects
Reposted by New lettuce
If a billionaire fell in a forest and there was no one around to hear him, that would be perfect
January 23, 2025 at 11:25 PM
If a billionaire fell in a forest and there was no one around to hear him, that would be perfect
Reposted by New lettuce
most deer are not “caught in your headlights”. most deer are admiring your driving. you’re really good at it you know!
February 4, 2026 at 7:28 PM
most deer are not “caught in your headlights”. most deer are admiring your driving. you’re really good at it you know!
Reposted by New lettuce
I am obsessed with being chill
February 4, 2026 at 2:57 AM
I am obsessed with being chill
Reposted by New lettuce
