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batkaren

@batkaren.bsky.social

21K followers 330 following 2.7K posts

my mom fucked a bat just my bullshit: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6ljac3gxzqxy56fhx7qu3jqd/feed/aaali652rhjzc

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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · Jan 22

Just gonna scream into this Ziploc. Save it for later.

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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 1h

The E in Chuck E. Cheese stands for Eldritch

3 3 22

batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 4h

The recording keeps telling me that my call is important, but they’re experiencing an infinitely higher-than-usual call volume

Reposted by batkaren

batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 3d

Still on hold with Universe Tech Support about the All-Pervasive Badness.

4 5 44

batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 11h

“But I don't WANNA take a nap!” the five-year-old screams.

I kneel down and stare her dead in the eyes. “You will, kid. Some day. When it's not even an option anymore.”

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Reposted by batkaren

Space Moddity (they/them) @doktormod.bsky.social · 4d

Nobody at this karaoke bar seems very happy with my Brian Eno "Music for Airports" selections

2 4 25

Reposted by batkaren

Quinn Sutherland @reelquinn.bsky.social · 3d

It’s Puppy Monday! This is Strudel. I’m with him for a week until he joins his forever family.

5 6 140

batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 1d

for folks making the jump, I’m @[email protected] over there

batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 1d

none of them work out for us

batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 1d

That was a good moment! I remember raising money by writing personalized dick jokes with you. Ahhhh simpler times.

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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 1d

We’ve reached a point in history similar to that moment in the movie Clue—long after they screamed their heads off each time a new dead body was found—when the group silently walks from one corpse to the next, pausing briefly at each before moving on, like zombie robots in collective resignation.

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Reposted by batkaren

🅱️oofessor Killosk 🔪👻 @professorkiosk.wtf · 5d

what an embarrassing time to be alive

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Reposted by batkaren

sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d

them: i love your halloween horror makeup!
me: my what?

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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 2d

Sure, GI Joe taught us that knowing is half the battle, but they never said the other half is getting a good night’s sleep.

We are FUCKED.

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Reposted by batkaren

Isabel Zaw-Tun @izzyzaw.bsky.social · 2d

everybody’s jealous of me since I decided to get plastic surgery to have Cuttlefish skin. they‘re resentful because I camouflage myself as a brick wall or a gorseberry bush in order to steal their croissants off their plates at cafes. I’ve never felt so beautiful

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Reposted by batkaren

Frankenstein’s President Warren G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · Nov 16

It’s cute you think the disco is the only place I panic

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Reposted by batkaren

born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 3d

starting a social media platform where nobody can post on it, communicate with anyone on there, or even sign up for it

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Reposted by batkaren

Mara Wilson @marawilson.bsky.social · 8d

Some of you may remember my rant about getting surprise charged $653 for a medically necessary ultrasound to screen for the cancer that killed my mother.

Well, I wrote about it, and now my bad experience has been made into a cartoon for The Out of Network Network!

open.substack.com/pub/outofnet...