BattleVark
@battlevark.bsky.social
The Impressive Clergyman. Hot tub philosopher. He/Him.
Reposted by BattleVark
WANTED TO STAY UP AND SEE SANTA! WANTED TO SEE AND I SAW! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK, DAD! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK!
December 25, 2025 at 1:11 PM
WANTED TO STAY UP AND SEE SANTA! WANTED TO SEE AND I SAW! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK, DAD! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK!
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Retweeting this is my favorite social-media Christmas tradition
*walking in a winter wonderland*
ME: where's bluebird?
BIRD: gone
ME: w... who are you?
*bird looks around shiftily*
BIRD: I'm new bird
ME: where's bluebird?
BIRD: gone
ME: w... who are you?
*bird looks around shiftily*
BIRD: I'm new bird
December 21, 2024 at 12:39 AM
Retweeting this is my favorite social-media Christmas tradition
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Thread, long but very worth it.
My parents were free-wheeling Boomers convinced things were only ever going to get better, financially. They had good reason, then. They could afford a house, car, and weekly nights out on two full time assistant manager jobs at a fast food chain. But they also got caught up in emulating wealth trap
December 8, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Thread, long but very worth it.
Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel.
Honestly, the list is long and distinguished.
Honestly, the list is long and distinguished.
December 7, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel.
Honestly, the list is long and distinguished.
Honestly, the list is long and distinguished.
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any time you're told to use AI at work, turn your work in about half as fast and pepper it with obvious mistakes. if nobody cares, you have less to do, and if they do, you can tell them you'll never use AI at work again
December 7, 2025 at 8:41 PM
any time you're told to use AI at work, turn your work in about half as fast and pepper it with obvious mistakes. if nobody cares, you have less to do, and if they do, you can tell them you'll never use AI at work again
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choo choo, motherfucker
Get a load of this. 😆
December 7, 2025 at 10:06 AM
choo choo, motherfucker
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Here’s my Spotify Wrapped 🎵✨
December 3, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Here’s my Spotify Wrapped 🎵✨
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This composition had eluded me for nearly a decade, but yesterday I was finally able to capture it. A train rolled through just as the Duquesne Incline was crossing over the tracks in #Pittsburgh, creating a picture perfect winter scene. It was worth the hours and hours I've waited over the years.
December 3, 2025 at 2:06 PM
This composition had eluded me for nearly a decade, but yesterday I was finally able to capture it. A train rolled through just as the Duquesne Incline was crossing over the tracks in #Pittsburgh, creating a picture perfect winter scene. It was worth the hours and hours I've waited over the years.
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Reposted by BattleVark
AD-ROCK: Yo Ebenezer you gotta show re-
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
January 5, 2025 at 8:01 PM
AD-ROCK: Yo Ebenezer you gotta show re-
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
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"Life goes on. A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms. What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy?"
November 29, 2025 at 1:23 PM
"Life goes on. A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms. What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy?"
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The Doctor is right and correct
Always love to see great talent using their platform for unabashed good.
'F*** Off And Let People Be': David Tennant Doubles Down On Support For Trans People
"People are trying to create division... and it's so f***ing unnecessary."
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk
November 29, 2025 at 12:51 PM
The Doctor is right and correct
Strongly seconded
November 25, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Strongly seconded
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I am of the simple opinion that stuff like this is the peak of human endeavour and we can cut it out with the missiles and demonic computers in favour of getting really good at a cool little thing
November 25, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I am of the simple opinion that stuff like this is the peak of human endeavour and we can cut it out with the missiles and demonic computers in favour of getting really good at a cool little thing
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This is very good and funny.
And also lowkey still fuck off James Comey.
And also lowkey still fuck off James Comey.
WASHINGTON (AP) — Judge dismisses cases against James Comey and Letitia James after finding that prosecutor was illegally appointed.
November 24, 2025 at 6:33 PM
This is very good and funny.
And also lowkey still fuck off James Comey.
And also lowkey still fuck off James Comey.
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You cannot guess the topic that lead to this post
The damned in hell are not more powerful for the fact that the fires do not consume them; it is part and parcel of their torment.
November 23, 2025 at 6:27 PM
You cannot guess the topic that lead to this post
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Ok palate cleanse time. In case you missed it, here's my most popular post ever
4 yrs ago today, a family member managed a truly spectacular own goal, splintered his domestic bliss, & in the process, united the world for a day.
On popular request, I shall now recreate the livetweet thread from that day
So gather around children, for this is the tale of The Rice Truck Saga
On popular request, I shall now recreate the livetweet thread from that day
So gather around children, for this is the tale of The Rice Truck Saga
November 23, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Ok palate cleanse time. In case you missed it, here's my most popular post ever
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Excuse to post a classic?
November 20, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Excuse to post a classic?
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Anyway please enjoy this pumpkin I saw yesterday
November 20, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Anyway please enjoy this pumpkin I saw yesterday
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Time again to enjoy a hippo thread
I have been doing entirely too much earnest posting about deep things recently, I need to do a proper thread about hippo testicles or something just to keep myself sane.
Oh by the way hippos have migratory testicles.
Oh by the way hippos have migratory testicles.
a statue of a hippopotamus with its mouth open and teeth showing .
Alt: A hippo being tossed a watermelon, which it crushes in its massive jaws.
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Time again to enjoy a hippo thread
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Today is the day to repost this meme about International Men's Day, one of the most unironically wholesome memes that has ever been made.
Shoutout to all my fellow champs, chiefs, and kings. ✊
Shoutout to all my fellow champs, chiefs, and kings. ✊
November 19, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Today is the day to repost this meme about International Men's Day, one of the most unironically wholesome memes that has ever been made.
Shoutout to all my fellow champs, chiefs, and kings. ✊
Shoutout to all my fellow champs, chiefs, and kings. ✊
Reposted by BattleVark
squirrel: *points gun*
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
November 19, 2025 at 1:41 PM
squirrel: *points gun*
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
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