Reposted by ben b
“Cunnilingus: Advanced Techniques” and “The Trials of Adonis: Coping Strategies for Men with Perfect Bodies”
Prompt: if you had to performatively display two books that you wanted the NYT writer profiling you about your career ending scandal to notice, what would they be?
November 14, 2025 at 9:01 PM
“Cunnilingus: Advanced Techniques” and “The Trials of Adonis: Coping Strategies for Men with Perfect Bodies”
Reposted by ben b
i have a crazy idea: imagine an economy that doesnt completely implode every 7 years
November 14, 2025 at 1:11 PM
i have a crazy idea: imagine an economy that doesnt completely implode every 7 years
Reposted by ben b
Sonic the Hedgehog bit me which I thought would make me run fast but now I'm just angry and don't want to drink water
May 6, 2024 at 6:38 PM
Sonic the Hedgehog bit me which I thought would make me run fast but now I'm just angry and don't want to drink water
Reposted by ben b
if i see you wearing this shit i'm going to take them off your face and snap them in half
October 23, 2025 at 2:01 PM
if i see you wearing this shit i'm going to take them off your face and snap them in half
Reposted by ben b
⚠️ Google has given you access to The Computer That Lies.
⚠️ You are now required to use The Computer That Lies.
⚠️ You are now required to use The Computer That Lies.
January 29, 2025 at 8:06 PM
⚠️ Google has given you access to The Computer That Lies.
⚠️ You are now required to use The Computer That Lies.
⚠️ You are now required to use The Computer That Lies.
Reposted by ben b
Jennifer Aniston and Berry Gordy should have set up an Ice Cream company, they could have called it Aniston and Gordy’s Fantastic Ice Creams
September 18, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Jennifer Aniston and Berry Gordy should have set up an Ice Cream company, they could have called it Aniston and Gordy’s Fantastic Ice Creams
Reposted by ben b
"Bluesky is boring."
Social media *should* be boring. Being algorithm and dopamine poisoned is bad, actually.
When your feed dries up for the day, that's your cue to go do something else until new stuff shows up later.
Social media *should* be boring. Being algorithm and dopamine poisoned is bad, actually.
When your feed dries up for the day, that's your cue to go do something else until new stuff shows up later.
September 7, 2025 at 1:04 AM
"Bluesky is boring."
Social media *should* be boring. Being algorithm and dopamine poisoned is bad, actually.
When your feed dries up for the day, that's your cue to go do something else until new stuff shows up later.
Social media *should* be boring. Being algorithm and dopamine poisoned is bad, actually.
When your feed dries up for the day, that's your cue to go do something else until new stuff shows up later.
Reposted by ben b
why won’t they put a glass door on a dishwasher. why won’t they let me look in there
January 10, 2024 at 4:25 AM
why won’t they put a glass door on a dishwasher. why won’t they let me look in there
Reposted by ben b
Outside is bad... Inside is bad... We need a Third Side
August 19, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Outside is bad... Inside is bad... We need a Third Side
Reposted by ben b
nothing is more depressing than music or porno generated by a computer and i used to live in ohio so i have a firm grip on what is depressing
August 26, 2025 at 11:13 PM
nothing is more depressing than music or porno generated by a computer and i used to live in ohio so i have a firm grip on what is depressing
Reposted by ben b
“humans need to argue” actually they need to lie in the sweet shade of a tree idly gnawing ripe fruits
July 11, 2025 at 7:12 PM
“humans need to argue” actually they need to lie in the sweet shade of a tree idly gnawing ripe fruits
Reposted by ben b
how we envisioned the dark future: you wear leather and buy brain stims from a small store in an alley. your wrist computer helps you hack
actual dark future: your $89 pants rip after 8 wears. adderall shortage. your wrist computer makes you stand up hourly and buzzes with email from your boss
actual dark future: your $89 pants rip after 8 wears. adderall shortage. your wrist computer makes you stand up hourly and buzzes with email from your boss
November 30, 2023 at 12:29 AM
how we envisioned the dark future: you wear leather and buy brain stims from a small store in an alley. your wrist computer helps you hack
actual dark future: your $89 pants rip after 8 wears. adderall shortage. your wrist computer makes you stand up hourly and buzzes with email from your boss
actual dark future: your $89 pants rip after 8 wears. adderall shortage. your wrist computer makes you stand up hourly and buzzes with email from your boss
Reposted by ben b
Reddit is good don't let anyone say different
August 23, 2025 at 9:17 AM
Reddit is good don't let anyone say different
Reposted by ben b
I think part of the lure of these chatbots is the illusion that there's an easily accessible answer to every question. I'm a busy man, just tell me what the best laundry detergent is, and also whether climate change is real
August 20, 2025 at 1:46 AM
I think part of the lure of these chatbots is the illusion that there's an easily accessible answer to every question. I'm a busy man, just tell me what the best laundry detergent is, and also whether climate change is real
Reposted by ben b
Every tech update now is like: "Great news, the word processor you've relied on for twenty years has learned to juggle! Is it good at it? No! Does it help in any way? Of course not! Has it made it insufferable to use? Oh, absolutely."
August 19, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Every tech update now is like: "Great news, the word processor you've relied on for twenty years has learned to juggle! Is it good at it? No! Does it help in any way? Of course not! Has it made it insufferable to use? Oh, absolutely."
Reposted by ben b
Bluesky isn't dead it's just filled with old people who ruin every post.
August 19, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Bluesky isn't dead it's just filled with old people who ruin every post.
sadly true
a lot of people are heading online these days without even touching a keyboard or mouse, thanks to what i call "the smartphone revolution." apple got the ball rolling when they came out with the iphone, but there are all kinds of makes and models out there now. selling like hotcakes, too
August 16, 2025 at 5:04 PM
sadly true
I have absolutely no shame about this, except possibly how old this makes it clear I am
August 15, 2025 at 9:48 AM
I have absolutely no shame about this, except possibly how old this makes it clear I am
Reposted by ben b
I am writing about a maritime disaster and googled what a "sounding rod" looks like. Don't do that. There are two types of sounding rods, and most of the ones on google images are NOT the maritime type, they're the, uh, "make the hole you wee out of really big for some reason" type
August 15, 2025 at 9:34 AM
I am writing about a maritime disaster and googled what a "sounding rod" looks like. Don't do that. There are two types of sounding rods, and most of the ones on google images are NOT the maritime type, they're the, uh, "make the hole you wee out of really big for some reason" type
Reposted by ben b
Quick reminder that Harry Potter was and will always be fucking trash. So many better authors and stories out there by writers who aren't human garbage.
July 17, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Quick reminder that Harry Potter was and will always be fucking trash. So many better authors and stories out there by writers who aren't human garbage.
Reposted by ben b
Me: If nominated as President, I will be a voice for the voiceless!
Interviewer: ah, so your pitch is representing the people.
Me, recalling my dreams of Yuggoth and its plutonion shores, the call to prepare for the coming of the Old Ones and their new dominion: sure.
Interviewer: ah, so your pitch is representing the people.
Me, recalling my dreams of Yuggoth and its plutonion shores, the call to prepare for the coming of the Old Ones and their new dominion: sure.
August 14, 2025 at 9:46 AM
Me: If nominated as President, I will be a voice for the voiceless!
Interviewer: ah, so your pitch is representing the people.
Me, recalling my dreams of Yuggoth and its plutonion shores, the call to prepare for the coming of the Old Ones and their new dominion: sure.
Interviewer: ah, so your pitch is representing the people.
Me, recalling my dreams of Yuggoth and its plutonion shores, the call to prepare for the coming of the Old Ones and their new dominion: sure.
Reposted by ben b
There is a person in a high rise office making six figures with a job that effects no one in any significant way compared to that one song that makes you weep on command for completely illogical reasons and these people know they will never be able to create something of this type of meaning.
August 11, 2025 at 5:09 PM
There is a person in a high rise office making six figures with a job that effects no one in any significant way compared to that one song that makes you weep on command for completely illogical reasons and these people know they will never be able to create something of this type of meaning.
Reposted by ben b
Sorry I dropped acid and fucked a ham at family dinner, babe.
August 6, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Sorry I dropped acid and fucked a ham at family dinner, babe.