Reposted by Pete Lewis
Huge scandal that Minneapolis has been crawling with terrorists this whole time. They've been living among us undercover as poets and nurses. And would've continued to, had it not been for the work of our bravest child kidnappers
January 25, 2026 at 12:44 AM
Huge scandal that Minneapolis has been crawling with terrorists this whole time. They've been living among us undercover as poets and nurses. And would've continued to, had it not been for the work of our bravest child kidnappers
Reposted by Pete Lewis
the worst dog actor I’ve ever seen is the German Shepard in Ricky Gervais’ show After Life. that dog showed Ricky no affection. Always running away or staring at its handler off screen.
January 22, 2026 at 5:05 AM
the worst dog actor I’ve ever seen is the German Shepard in Ricky Gervais’ show After Life. that dog showed Ricky no affection. Always running away or staring at its handler off screen.
Reposted by Pete Lewis
“i’m going in! cover me!”
—me getting into bed
—me getting into bed
January 22, 2026 at 5:03 AM
“i’m going in! cover me!”
—me getting into bed
—me getting into bed
Reposted by Pete Lewis
TRUMP: honk honk honk, I'm a big goose. everyone tells me whenever I enter a room, that's the biggest goose I've ever seen and I say yes. I'm a big goose. in a good way. a lot of Somalians are small stupid gooses but I'm a big goose
BBC NEWS: a disciplined Trump sticks to the script on the economy
BBC NEWS: a disciplined Trump sticks to the script on the economy
January 21, 2026 at 1:58 PM
TRUMP: honk honk honk, I'm a big goose. everyone tells me whenever I enter a room, that's the biggest goose I've ever seen and I say yes. I'm a big goose. in a good way. a lot of Somalians are small stupid gooses but I'm a big goose
BBC NEWS: a disciplined Trump sticks to the script on the economy
BBC NEWS: a disciplined Trump sticks to the script on the economy
Reposted by Pete Lewis
george: jerry, i'm going to the bone temple!
jerry: bone temple?
george: bone temple!
elaine: a guy took me to the bone temple once....he wasn't exactly samson
kramer: *bursts into apartment, infected*
jerry: bone temple?
george: bone temple!
elaine: a guy took me to the bone temple once....he wasn't exactly samson
kramer: *bursts into apartment, infected*
January 17, 2026 at 3:39 AM
george: jerry, i'm going to the bone temple!
jerry: bone temple?
george: bone temple!
elaine: a guy took me to the bone temple once....he wasn't exactly samson
kramer: *bursts into apartment, infected*
jerry: bone temple?
george: bone temple!
elaine: a guy took me to the bone temple once....he wasn't exactly samson
kramer: *bursts into apartment, infected*
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Cooking tip: Double the oven temperature to cook the food in half the time. If the food burns that simply means you are impure of heart
January 14, 2026 at 4:16 PM
Cooking tip: Double the oven temperature to cook the food in half the time. If the food burns that simply means you are impure of heart
Reposted by Pete Lewis
CLOSE ALL OF THOSE BROWSER TABS YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH
January 16, 2026 at 4:47 AM
CLOSE ALL OF THOSE BROWSER TABS YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Doc it hurts when I do this *roundhouse kicks the dental x-ray arm*
January 15, 2026 at 3:54 AM
Doc it hurts when I do this *roundhouse kicks the dental x-ray arm*
Reposted by Pete Lewis
🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔
January 12, 2026 at 9:33 PM
🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Reposted by Pete Lewis
wife: why is there cabbage all over the bathtub
me: my showerkraut!
me: my showerkraut!
January 7, 2026 at 11:40 PM
wife: why is there cabbage all over the bathtub
me: my showerkraut!
me: my showerkraut!
Reposted by Pete Lewis
drilling my penis for oil
January 11, 2026 at 2:39 AM
drilling my penis for oil
Slightly diminish a band:
Apathetic D
Apathetic D
Slightly diminish a band:
The Respectful Disagreement
The Respectful Disagreement
Slightly diminish a band:
The Calfsills
The Calfsills
January 11, 2026 at 4:40 AM
Slightly diminish a band:
Apathetic D
Apathetic D
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Reposted by Pete Lewis
at no point in this headline did i know what would happen next
Ex-Mississippi welfare chief John Davis confessed to WWE wrestlers Ted DiBiase Jr. and Brett DiBiase that he "tried to buy your love" as he sent millions in Temporary Assistance for Needy Families funds to The Million Dollar Man's sons.
While denying 99% of poor families who applied.
While denying 99% of poor families who applied.
Welfare Scandal Mastermind Sought to Woo DiBiase Brothers as He Directed Millions to Wrestlers
The odd relationship between the mastermind of the Mississippi welfare scandal and two ex-wrestlers was on display in Ted DiBiase Jr.’s trial.
www.mississippifreepress.org
January 10, 2026 at 6:22 PM
at no point in this headline did i know what would happen next
Reposted by Pete Lewis
ICE is looking for criminals.
Apply within.
Apply within.
January 11, 2026 at 3:34 AM
ICE is looking for criminals.
Apply within.
Apply within.
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Whoever's got his voodoo doll works 24/7
BRAZIL'S IMPRISONED FORMER PRESIDENT BOLSONARO BEING TAKEN TO HOSPITAL FOR TESTS AFTER FALLING, HITTING HEAD, WIFE SAYS
January 6, 2026 at 4:38 PM
Whoever's got his voodoo doll works 24/7
Reposted by Pete Lewis
I've got a good feeling about this bank of mysterious fog moving against the wind to blanket our isolated small town.
August 24, 2024 at 7:16 PM
I've got a good feeling about this bank of mysterious fog moving against the wind to blanket our isolated small town.
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Judges hate this one simple trick (horse lawyer)
January 6, 2026 at 6:00 AM
Judges hate this one simple trick (horse lawyer)
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Almost like the FIFA peace prize meant nothing
January 3, 2026 at 3:28 PM
Almost like the FIFA peace prize meant nothing
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Just leaving your mom’s house.
January 4, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Just leaving your mom’s house.
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Sir Isaac Newton: "If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants."
Me: (can't see at all because the cat knocked my glasses behind the toilet)
Me: (can't see at all because the cat knocked my glasses behind the toilet)
January 4, 2026 at 5:17 PM
Sir Isaac Newton: "If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants."
Me: (can't see at all because the cat knocked my glasses behind the toilet)
Me: (can't see at all because the cat knocked my glasses behind the toilet)
Reposted by Pete Lewis
you're not allowed to do that to beans
January 5, 2026 at 2:36 AM
you're not allowed to do that to beans
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Reposted by Pete Lewis
Doing this challenge called “January” where I try to make it through the whole month of January
January 4, 2026 at 8:03 PM
Doing this challenge called “January” where I try to make it through the whole month of January