Pinned
Reposted by Julicorn
It is with a heavy heart that I post this, according to my cardiologist.
October 11, 2025 at 5:33 PM
It is with a heavy heart that I post this, according to my cardiologist.
Reposted by Julicorn
Got my performance review.
September 27, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Got my performance review.
Reposted by Julicorn
What a weird-ass Rapture. Only the Constitution disappeared.
September 24, 2025 at 10:53 PM
What a weird-ass Rapture. Only the Constitution disappeared.
Reposted by Julicorn
i really hope someone empties it out at the end of the day
September 24, 2025 at 4:10 PM
i really hope someone empties it out at the end of the day
This meeting could have been the rapture
September 23, 2025 at 3:27 PM
This meeting could have been the rapture
Reposted by Julicorn
omg omg i think im being raptured nope just stood up too quickly oof nvm
September 23, 2025 at 9:42 AM
omg omg i think im being raptured nope just stood up too quickly oof nvm
Reposted by Julicorn
if the rapture starts when im on the toilet pooping will i be allowed to pull my pants up or do i just float up with dropped trou
September 22, 2025 at 5:27 PM
if the rapture starts when im on the toilet pooping will i be allowed to pull my pants up or do i just float up with dropped trou
Reposted by Julicorn
ATTENTION PARENTS: is your child texting about the Rapture? KNOW THE SIGNS:
LOL: left on land
WTF: where’s the family
ROFL: rapture only for losers
OMG: oh ma geddon
LOL: left on land
WTF: where’s the family
ROFL: rapture only for losers
OMG: oh ma geddon
September 23, 2025 at 6:16 AM
ATTENTION PARENTS: is your child texting about the Rapture? KNOW THE SIGNS:
LOL: left on land
WTF: where’s the family
ROFL: rapture only for losers
OMG: oh ma geddon
LOL: left on land
WTF: where’s the family
ROFL: rapture only for losers
OMG: oh ma geddon
Reposted by Julicorn
The free speech activist who built a list of professors he worked to get fired for their speech must be celebrated for his support of free speech, and anyone who quotes his speech accurately in context will be fired and/or face state punishment by the champions of free speech, do I have that right?
September 15, 2025 at 2:43 PM
The free speech activist who built a list of professors he worked to get fired for their speech must be celebrated for his support of free speech, and anyone who quotes his speech accurately in context will be fired and/or face state punishment by the champions of free speech, do I have that right?
Reposted by Julicorn
Proctology is located in A55
September 15, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Proctology is located in A55
Reposted by Julicorn
tell me without telling me that she has to finish herself off after you fall asleep
September 12, 2025 at 3:08 PM
tell me without telling me that she has to finish herself off after you fall asleep
Reposted by Julicorn
(existential Borat) my life
September 13, 2025 at 2:02 AM
(existential Borat) my life
Reposted by Julicorn
[folds menu gently and hands to server]
please may I have the applebee
please may I have the applebee
September 13, 2025 at 3:52 PM
[folds menu gently and hands to server]
please may I have the applebee
please may I have the applebee
Reposted by Julicorn
“Well, I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Jessica.”
“I have. I’m never drinking again.”
“Good. When you’re done, my food bowl is empty.”
“I have. I’m never drinking again.”
“Good. When you’re done, my food bowl is empty.”
September 13, 2025 at 1:33 PM
“Well, I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Jessica.”
“I have. I’m never drinking again.”
“Good. When you’re done, my food bowl is empty.”
“I have. I’m never drinking again.”
“Good. When you’re done, my food bowl is empty.”
Reposted by Julicorn
Server: a little Quiche before your main sir?
Me: ok, but no tongue
Me: ok, but no tongue
August 8, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Server: a little Quiche before your main sir?
Me: ok, but no tongue
Me: ok, but no tongue
Reposted by Julicorn
Waiter: may i recommend the steak?
Dracula: you may not
Dracula: you may not
September 8, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Waiter: may i recommend the steak?
Dracula: you may not
Dracula: you may not
Reposted by Julicorn
Whoever did this and I would get along well.
September 11, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Whoever did this and I would get along well.
Reposted by Julicorn
Emily Blunt: fuck me
Emily Subtle: come up for coffee
Emily Subtle: come up for coffee
April 14, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Emily Blunt: fuck me
Emily Subtle: come up for coffee
Emily Subtle: come up for coffee
Reposted by Julicorn
me: you go first
dolphin: oh man you are so fucked
dolphin: oh man you are so fucked
September 10, 2025 at 3:36 PM
me: you go first
dolphin: oh man you are so fucked
dolphin: oh man you are so fucked
Reposted by Julicorn
The left isn’t “dancing on Charlie Kirk’s grave,” we’re just pointing out that, thanks to rhetoric like his, a lot of other graves exist.
September 11, 2025 at 12:09 PM
The left isn’t “dancing on Charlie Kirk’s grave,” we’re just pointing out that, thanks to rhetoric like his, a lot of other graves exist.
Reposted by Julicorn
you get a collect call from jail saying it is your pancreas
September 11, 2025 at 2:52 PM
you get a collect call from jail saying it is your pancreas
Reposted by Julicorn
Everyone’s gonna be wide awake at his funeral. If only because they’ll play Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration” at full volume.
April 27, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Everyone’s gonna be wide awake at his funeral. If only because they’ll play Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration” at full volume.
Reposted by Julicorn
If a billionaire fell in a forest and there was no one around to hear him, that would be perfect
January 23, 2025 at 11:25 PM
If a billionaire fell in a forest and there was no one around to hear him, that would be perfect
Reposted by Julicorn
🎶 Whoa oh here she comes
Watch out ants she'll chew you up
Whoa oh here she comes
She's an anteater
Watch out ants she'll chew you up
Whoa oh here she comes
She's an anteater
January 31, 2025 at 3:00 AM
🎶 Whoa oh here she comes
Watch out ants she'll chew you up
Whoa oh here she comes
She's an anteater
Watch out ants she'll chew you up
Whoa oh here she comes
She's an anteater