Paul Jay
@pauljay.bsky.social
I write scripts and stories and songs and jokes. I also do regular stuff
Pinned
Paul Jay
@pauljay.bsky.social
· Mar 11
You know that new sound you’ve been looking for? Well, uh, I’m working on it.
Reposted by Paul Jay
Marjorie Taylor Greene just came out against having a big old wall of knobbly George Washington wooden teeth hanging off the front of your god damn face. "No more big carved out of a bar of soap ass monster sized donkey teeth!" she says. Well. Mayhap I will be the first to point something out then??
December 8, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Marjorie Taylor Greene just came out against having a big old wall of knobbly George Washington wooden teeth hanging off the front of your god damn face. "No more big carved out of a bar of soap ass monster sized donkey teeth!" she says. Well. Mayhap I will be the first to point something out then??
Motherfucker look like some shit a 7yo would draw in a January-release horror movie where his mom would ask what it is and he’d just say like “Cold Hank” or “the Ceiling Man”
Please enjoy my 7yos art made while he was on the couch with a snotty head cold all day
December 8, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Motherfucker look like some shit a 7yo would draw in a January-release horror movie where his mom would ask what it is and he’d just say like “Cold Hank” or “the Ceiling Man”
At first I was like “why does this account exist” but then you get to things like this
December 8, 2025 at 1:35 AM
At first I was like “why does this account exist” but then you get to things like this
The main thing keeping me from doing the proverbial early checkout is that if I’m wrong about the afterlife, by which I mean, if there turns out to be one, period, I am going to be so fucking embarrassed
December 8, 2025 at 12:42 AM
The main thing keeping me from doing the proverbial early checkout is that if I’m wrong about the afterlife, by which I mean, if there turns out to be one, period, I am going to be so fucking embarrassed
Nothing kicks me out of a horror movie faster than when it turns out to be the devil. Like the devil from hell, like in cartoons
December 8, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Nothing kicks me out of a horror movie faster than when it turns out to be the devil. Like the devil from hell, like in cartoons
When I saw Kill Bill I was amazed at the HORRIFIED reaction in the theater to, among other things, Beatrix squishing Elle’s eyeball. Then I looked around at the mostly-mid-twenties audience around me and started to wonder: how many of them have ever even seen an R-rated movie in the theater
December 7, 2025 at 10:38 PM
When I saw Kill Bill I was amazed at the HORRIFIED reaction in the theater to, among other things, Beatrix squishing Elle’s eyeball. Then I looked around at the mostly-mid-twenties audience around me and started to wonder: how many of them have ever even seen an R-rated movie in the theater
Reposted by Paul Jay
"please someone get AI to do this" is the most pathetic fuckin sentence i have ever read. take a good look at how far the AI revolution has taken us. from "could someone please record this ten second bit and lay it over existing moon landing footage" all the way to "please SOMEONE get AI to do this"
December 6, 2025 at 10:15 PM
"please someone get AI to do this" is the most pathetic fuckin sentence i have ever read. take a good look at how far the AI revolution has taken us. from "could someone please record this ten second bit and lay it over existing moon landing footage" all the way to "please SOMEONE get AI to do this"
Reposted by Paul Jay
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
December 3, 2023 at 1:13 AM
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Reposted by Paul Jay
It's like one minute you're fine, and the next you remember who you are and what's going on.
July 20, 2023 at 3:15 AM
It's like one minute you're fine, and the next you remember who you are and what's going on.
Reposted by Paul Jay
One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.
December 7, 2025 at 3:39 PM
One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.
Reposted by Paul Jay
“Quentin Tarantino says..” Quentin Tarantino says a lot of things
December 7, 2025 at 5:55 AM
“Quentin Tarantino says..” Quentin Tarantino says a lot of things
There are two kinds of famouses:
1. the ones who look normal and approachable on camera, but in person they’re impossibly gorgeous
2. the ones who look impossibly gorgeous on camera, and then you see them in person and it’s like looking at the fucking sun
1. the ones who look normal and approachable on camera, but in person they’re impossibly gorgeous
2. the ones who look impossibly gorgeous on camera, and then you see them in person and it’s like looking at the fucking sun
celebs are so much more attractive than they look on tv it's wild. you're usually seeing them next to other attractive people so the bar gets raised to an insane degree. i worked for nikki glaser once and it was hard to be normal around her lol
Just met Pedro Pascal. He's shooting a movie a block away from our house. They shoot movies here often so we see a lot of famous people but I never get star struck like I did today. He's like 10 times as good looking in person as he is in the movies and he took a picture with us. He smells amazing.
December 7, 2025 at 2:00 AM
There are two kinds of famouses:
1. the ones who look normal and approachable on camera, but in person they’re impossibly gorgeous
2. the ones who look impossibly gorgeous on camera, and then you see them in person and it’s like looking at the fucking sun
1. the ones who look normal and approachable on camera, but in person they’re impossibly gorgeous
2. the ones who look impossibly gorgeous on camera, and then you see them in person and it’s like looking at the fucking sun
Reposted by Paul Jay
What I like about Stephen Sondheim is everyone else makes musicals that become huge famous hits named stuff like "Grease" and "Wicked" and "Hamilton". His are all named stuff like "Loop De Loo, And Isn't That Just Always The Way" and no one has ever performed, recorded, or heard of it ever again.
May 25, 2025 at 8:32 PM
What I like about Stephen Sondheim is everyone else makes musicals that become huge famous hits named stuff like "Grease" and "Wicked" and "Hamilton". His are all named stuff like "Loop De Loo, And Isn't That Just Always The Way" and no one has ever performed, recorded, or heard of it ever again.
Reposted by Paul Jay
GONZO: *talking like a fucking murderer* dark was CHEAP, and scrooge LIKED it!!!
December 6, 2025 at 11:24 PM
GONZO: *talking like a fucking murderer* dark was CHEAP, and scrooge LIKED it!!!
Reposted by Paul Jay
live each day like it was your last: paralyzed with indecision, watching the clock tick down, trying to think of what would give your life meaning as the sun falls below the horizon, but only managing to remember viral videos you saw twenty years ago
December 6, 2025 at 9:28 PM
live each day like it was your last: paralyzed with indecision, watching the clock tick down, trying to think of what would give your life meaning as the sun falls below the horizon, but only managing to remember viral videos you saw twenty years ago
Reposted by Paul Jay
he soived
… and he SERVED ✨
December 6, 2025 at 6:34 AM
he soived
Reposted by Paul Jay
you know how i know im a 44yo dad? how much i laughed at this shit
December 6, 2025 at 3:31 AM
you know how i know im a 44yo dad? how much i laughed at this shit
Reposted by Paul Jay
if THIS FLAG OFFENDS YOU
I'LL HELP YOU PACK
I'LL HELP YOU PACK
December 5, 2025 at 2:30 PM
if THIS FLAG OFFENDS YOU
I'LL HELP YOU PACK
I'LL HELP YOU PACK
Sometimes, when an older person tells you to knock off the Discourse, it’s not because they don’t agree with it, but just that they first heard it, or even said it themselves, before you were born. The current round of Tarantino Talk is a perfect example
December 5, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Sometimes, when an older person tells you to knock off the Discourse, it’s not because they don’t agree with it, but just that they first heard it, or even said it themselves, before you were born. The current round of Tarantino Talk is a perfect example
Reposted by Paul Jay
(being mindful, centered and in the moment) man this fucking sucks
December 19, 2024 at 3:27 AM
(being mindful, centered and in the moment) man this fucking sucks
Reposted by Paul Jay
Klingon teenager: welcome to the OC b’Itch
December 4, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Klingon teenager: welcome to the OC b’Itch
Reposted by Paul Jay
Reposted by Paul Jay
Reposted by Paul Jay
Reposted by Paul Jay
This is one of those things that I think is quietly important – when these people are talking shit about cities, Portland or Minneapolis or New York or Charlotte or wherever, you have to loudly say, “no, fuck you, you’re lying, that town and its people whip ass and you’re the asshole”
“I walk around Portland, and I go, ‘Fuck you, assholes. Portland is fine.’” - John Darnielle, @themountaingoats.bsky.social. We're proud to claim you as a Portlander, sir.
The Mountain Goats Ascend to Revolution Hall
Mountain Goats frontman John Darnielle discusses musicals, his new album, and why he keeps coming home to Portland.
www.wweek.com
December 3, 2025 at 4:46 PM
This is one of those things that I think is quietly important – when these people are talking shit about cities, Portland or Minneapolis or New York or Charlotte or wherever, you have to loudly say, “no, fuck you, you’re lying, that town and its people whip ass and you’re the asshole”