@ragingstoic.bsky.social
Reposted
Alien: Take me to your leader.
Americans: OK, but if you’re here seeking asylum you are FUCKED.
Americans: OK, but if you’re here seeking asylum you are FUCKED.
December 23, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Alien: Take me to your leader.
Americans: OK, but if you’re here seeking asylum you are FUCKED.
Americans: OK, but if you’re here seeking asylum you are FUCKED.
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Hallmark has done every plot, so it is time for the apotheosis of Christmas movies: a big city lawyer returns to her small hometown and falls in love with an actual Christmas tree. After a series of missteps, they get married and have tree/human babies. Their hybrid spawn scream in endless torment 🎄
December 22, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Hallmark has done every plot, so it is time for the apotheosis of Christmas movies: a big city lawyer returns to her small hometown and falls in love with an actual Christmas tree. After a series of missteps, they get married and have tree/human babies. Their hybrid spawn scream in endless torment 🎄
Took a terrible selfie, turned it B/W and now I’m a babushka trying to sell her goat. Love it!
December 22, 2025 at 12:35 PM
Took a terrible selfie, turned it B/W and now I’m a babushka trying to sell her goat. Love it!
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Don’t call it a daytime tryst, call it a
December 21, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Don’t call it a daytime tryst, call it a
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incredible that the oldest scam in the book — “look away from the greed and poor leadership that destroy your chance to make a career, it is the [blanks] that stole your job!” — still works
December 17, 2025 at 10:01 PM
incredible that the oldest scam in the book — “look away from the greed and poor leadership that destroy your chance to make a career, it is the [blanks] that stole your job!” — still works
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Nothing makes Canadian Border Patrol wave you through like zucchini casserole.
Them: Are you bringing anything to Canada today?
Me: Just this zucchini casserole. We're having it for Christmas dinner, but I won't leave leftovers. I'll bring them home with me. It has--
Them: You can go, ma'am.
Them: Are you bringing anything to Canada today?
Me: Just this zucchini casserole. We're having it for Christmas dinner, but I won't leave leftovers. I'll bring them home with me. It has--
Them: You can go, ma'am.
December 17, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Nothing makes Canadian Border Patrol wave you through like zucchini casserole.
Them: Are you bringing anything to Canada today?
Me: Just this zucchini casserole. We're having it for Christmas dinner, but I won't leave leftovers. I'll bring them home with me. It has--
Them: You can go, ma'am.
Them: Are you bringing anything to Canada today?
Me: Just this zucchini casserole. We're having it for Christmas dinner, but I won't leave leftovers. I'll bring them home with me. It has--
Them: You can go, ma'am.
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sometimes i don’t know what you all are talking about so i look them up and then i get upset
December 14, 2025 at 10:01 PM
sometimes i don’t know what you all are talking about so i look them up and then i get upset
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“We are targeting Venezuela because of DRUGS, not OIL, which is why we are blowing up boats without any drugs and stealing a tanker full of oil.”
December 10, 2025 at 11:04 PM
“We are targeting Venezuela because of DRUGS, not OIL, which is why we are blowing up boats without any drugs and stealing a tanker full of oil.”
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White House Begins Christmas Season With Ceremonial Lighting Of Cross
December 10, 2025 at 10:00 PM
White House Begins Christmas Season With Ceremonial Lighting Of Cross
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Whoa … this is really strange.
Federal law enforcement managed to confiscate almost two tons of cocaine, and arrest 3 suspects, without blowing the boat out of the water or killing anyone.
🎁 link ⤵️
www.miamiherald.com/news/local/c...
Federal law enforcement managed to confiscate almost two tons of cocaine, and arrest 3 suspects, without blowing the boat out of the water or killing anyone.
🎁 link ⤵️
www.miamiherald.com/news/local/c...
$28 million of cocaine seized off Miami Beach. Three men charged
Coast Guard and CBP seized about 3,715 pounds of cocaine worth $28 million from a 65-foot vessel near Government Cut off Miami Beach; three men were arrested.
www.miamiherald.com
December 7, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Whoa … this is really strange.
Federal law enforcement managed to confiscate almost two tons of cocaine, and arrest 3 suspects, without blowing the boat out of the water or killing anyone.
🎁 link ⤵️
www.miamiherald.com/news/local/c...
Federal law enforcement managed to confiscate almost two tons of cocaine, and arrest 3 suspects, without blowing the boat out of the water or killing anyone.
🎁 link ⤵️
www.miamiherald.com/news/local/c...
I have at least six but only wear a specific one 90% of the time because the inside “feels” right.
I don’t mean to brag, but I have more hoodies than I even know what to do with and I keep buying more. Bc hoodies
December 6, 2025 at 7:27 PM
I have at least six but only wear a specific one 90% of the time because the inside “feels” right.
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hot singles in your area are perimenopausal pls leave them alone or you’ll make them cry
November 29, 2025 at 12:21 AM
hot singles in your area are perimenopausal pls leave them alone or you’ll make them cry
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N.S. announces it will sell off all remaining U.S. alcohol, won’t order any more #NovaScotia #FeedNovaScotia
The province says about $4 million in net profits will go to Feed Nova Scotia and other community food organizations.
www.ctvnews.ca/atlantic/nov...
The province says about $4 million in net profits will go to Feed Nova Scotia and other community food organizations.
www.ctvnews.ca/atlantic/nov...
N.S. announces it will sell all remaining U.S. alcohol, won’t order any more
Nova Scotia has announced it will sell its remaining $14 million-worth of alcohol from the United States.
www.ctvnews.ca
November 27, 2025 at 2:34 PM
N.S. announces it will sell off all remaining U.S. alcohol, won’t order any more #NovaScotia #FeedNovaScotia
The province says about $4 million in net profits will go to Feed Nova Scotia and other community food organizations.
www.ctvnews.ca/atlantic/nov...
The province says about $4 million in net profits will go to Feed Nova Scotia and other community food organizations.
www.ctvnews.ca/atlantic/nov...
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Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life https://theonion.com/man-getting-high-and-eating-taco-bell-thousands-of-mile-1845721340/
November 27, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life https://theonion.com/man-getting-high-and-eating-taco-bell-thousands-of-mile-1845721340/
Profoundly agree.
November 17, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Profoundly agree.
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Basically, the United States ran up until 2024 based on nothing more than the presumption that the administration would not do relentless crimes, and would stop if asked.
November 17, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Basically, the United States ran up until 2024 based on nothing more than the presumption that the administration would not do relentless crimes, and would stop if asked.
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I can't calm my tits because that's where I store my whimsy
November 16, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I can't calm my tits because that's where I store my whimsy
Half the barn is cleaned out, found two pairs of scissors, and four box cutters, all buried in a relatively small area in the spent hay, so not sure what type of ambush these fellas were planning but it has been foiled.
November 16, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Half the barn is cleaned out, found two pairs of scissors, and four box cutters, all buried in a relatively small area in the spent hay, so not sure what type of ambush these fellas were planning but it has been foiled.
I have winter prep for the barn and fellas, and checking for snakes and critters, a fuckton of leaves that if I pile then near the goats they will eat them like potato chips but ONLY if they think they will get in trouble. If I GIVE them leaves, they are not at all interested.
November 16, 2025 at 5:16 PM
I have winter prep for the barn and fellas, and checking for snakes and critters, a fuckton of leaves that if I pile then near the goats they will eat them like potato chips but ONLY if they think they will get in trouble. If I GIVE them leaves, they are not at all interested.
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But patriarchy doesn't exist, right.
November 9, 2025 at 7:27 PM
But patriarchy doesn't exist, right.
I feel like I just stayed mean for a few years. Looking back on a lot of things happening all at the same time, and yeah. I was just automatically mean and didn’t snap out of it for a while. It’s a shitty way to be, and feels terrible. Do not recommend. 0 stars.
November 5, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I feel like I just stayed mean for a few years. Looking back on a lot of things happening all at the same time, and yeah. I was just automatically mean and didn’t snap out of it for a while. It’s a shitty way to be, and feels terrible. Do not recommend. 0 stars.
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And I would like to challenge this person to get a real job
October 28, 2025 at 12:03 AM
And I would like to challenge this person to get a real job
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Imagine building an entire adult personality around "I finished fifth in a college swimming championship three years ago and I'm still furious I didn't get to be fourth. Therefore, a congresswoman must debate me."
It's just a turducken of loser shit.
It's just a turducken of loser shit.
October 28, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Imagine building an entire adult personality around "I finished fifth in a college swimming championship three years ago and I'm still furious I didn't get to be fourth. Therefore, a congresswoman must debate me."
It's just a turducken of loser shit.
It's just a turducken of loser shit.
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“You want to put that inside Elmo?”
“Yes.”
“And Elmo get twenty dollars?”
“That’s right.”
“Elmo want to see money first.”
“Yes.”
“And Elmo get twenty dollars?”
“That’s right.”
“Elmo want to see money first.”
October 27, 2025 at 1:07 PM
“You want to put that inside Elmo?”
“Yes.”
“And Elmo get twenty dollars?”
“That’s right.”
“Elmo want to see money first.”
“Yes.”
“And Elmo get twenty dollars?”
“That’s right.”
“Elmo want to see money first.”