@shannonthegr8.bsky.social
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My car is getting into the holiday spirit with its annual display of dashboard warning lights.
December 13, 2025 at 1:19 PM
My car is getting into the holiday spirit with its annual display of dashboard warning lights.
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sticks and stones will break your bones… unless it’s a kidney stone. then it will mess up your peehole
December 12, 2025 at 5:08 AM
sticks and stones will break your bones… unless it’s a kidney stone. then it will mess up your peehole
A fun thing I like to do with my teenage kids is text them videos/screenshots all day long and ask them”is this AI?”
December 12, 2025 at 4:50 AM
A fun thing I like to do with my teenage kids is text them videos/screenshots all day long and ask them”is this AI?”
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"Hello Sharks. Imagine a vaccine that can cure measles."
December 9, 2025 at 7:36 AM
"Hello Sharks. Imagine a vaccine that can cure measles."
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If a woman begins a sentence with "Listen....", you listen harder than you've ever listened before.
December 8, 2025 at 7:06 AM
If a woman begins a sentence with "Listen....", you listen harder than you've ever listened before.
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feels like a good time to remind y'all that your gay apparel is dry clean only
December 3, 2025 at 10:17 PM
feels like a good time to remind y'all that your gay apparel is dry clean only
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Incognito browsing history wrapped 2025
December 4, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Incognito browsing history wrapped 2025
SOS I am a festive prisoner. Please send help.
December 4, 2025 at 5:48 AM
SOS I am a festive prisoner. Please send help.
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This is the first Thanksgiving for Sophie & Colin Hortman without their parents, Minnesota state Rep. Melissa Hortman and Mark Hortman who were assassinated along with the family dog in an act of political murder. National guards troops were not deployed to the state in response.
November 27, 2025 at 5:24 PM
This is the first Thanksgiving for Sophie & Colin Hortman without their parents, Minnesota state Rep. Melissa Hortman and Mark Hortman who were assassinated along with the family dog in an act of political murder. National guards troops were not deployed to the state in response.
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May all of your bajas be blasted
November 27, 2025 at 5:15 AM
May all of your bajas be blasted
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taylor swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes
November 21, 2025 at 3:25 AM
taylor swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes
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catching up with a girlfriend on the phone is a beautiful tradition during which no sentence logically follows the previous one
November 21, 2025 at 4:34 AM
catching up with a girlfriend on the phone is a beautiful tradition during which no sentence logically follows the previous one
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My landlord doesn’t allow pets or practicing death magic
November 20, 2025 at 5:56 AM
My landlord doesn’t allow pets or practicing death magic
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I hate the Moon because I don’t understand the Moon. What does it want
November 18, 2025 at 5:51 AM
I hate the Moon because I don’t understand the Moon. What does it want
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Roses are red
Rhyming is difficult
Dammit
Rhyming is difficult
Dammit
November 15, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Roses are red
Rhyming is difficult
Dammit
Rhyming is difficult
Dammit
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operator: toddler 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
toddler: I'M OUT OF MILK!
operator: your cup is empty or there's no milk in the house?
toddler: MY CUP!
operator: where are your parents?
toddler: POURING ME MORE!
operator: ok, I need you to throw yourself on the ground & cry
toddler: I'M OUT OF MILK!
operator: your cup is empty or there's no milk in the house?
toddler: MY CUP!
operator: where are your parents?
toddler: POURING ME MORE!
operator: ok, I need you to throw yourself on the ground & cry
November 14, 2025 at 10:21 PM
operator: toddler 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
toddler: I'M OUT OF MILK!
operator: your cup is empty or there's no milk in the house?
toddler: MY CUP!
operator: where are your parents?
toddler: POURING ME MORE!
operator: ok, I need you to throw yourself on the ground & cry
toddler: I'M OUT OF MILK!
operator: your cup is empty or there's no milk in the house?
toddler: MY CUP!
operator: where are your parents?
toddler: POURING ME MORE!
operator: ok, I need you to throw yourself on the ground & cry
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i would enjoy chores more if they unlocked some cool loot like a new hairstyle or a weapon
November 8, 2025 at 5:41 PM
i would enjoy chores more if they unlocked some cool loot like a new hairstyle or a weapon
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an owl babysitter is a hootenanny has this been done before
November 8, 2025 at 6:57 PM
an owl babysitter is a hootenanny has this been done before
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every generation loves Rumours. it’s fucking Rumours
November 9, 2025 at 2:55 AM
every generation loves Rumours. it’s fucking Rumours
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i know the world is going to end soon and everything, but like why do baby carrots have to be so wet?
November 8, 2025 at 11:15 PM
i know the world is going to end soon and everything, but like why do baby carrots have to be so wet?
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You thought you were gonna have a nice Saturday? No. You’re going to two craft fairs, buddy.
November 8, 2025 at 2:33 PM
You thought you were gonna have a nice Saturday? No. You’re going to two craft fairs, buddy.
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ok tomorrow the kids stay home and grown ups get to go around asking for drugs and razor blades
November 1, 2025 at 4:36 AM
ok tomorrow the kids stay home and grown ups get to go around asking for drugs and razor blades
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it’s me, i’ve been stealing all the rubber conveyor belt dividers. this country doesn’t need more division. these are OUR groceries
October 30, 2025 at 1:43 AM
it’s me, i’ve been stealing all the rubber conveyor belt dividers. this country doesn’t need more division. these are OUR groceries
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Ultimately, each one of us must decide for ourselves what is too fast or too furious
October 30, 2025 at 5:34 AM
Ultimately, each one of us must decide for ourselves what is too fast or too furious