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I've got a dad back

@dadback.bsky.social

510 followers 390 following 1.4K posts

It's just jokes https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vukmt5ibip7vl3a3ll4d37hb/feed/aaakqjbhan7bm

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 10d

I need my life to be more fairy tale, less cautionary tale

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Adam @adamurb.bsky.social · 8h

Me: Are you ready for my cavity search?

Dentist: please stop calling it that

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official nikk account @nikk.ca · 16h

ME: give it to me straight doctor. how long do i have
DOC: what
ME: left. to live
DOC: it's carpal tunnel syndrome. you're not going to die
ME: my god ... eternal life

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onion person @junlper.beer · 15h

i’ve been trying to think of the real actual applications of generative ai in it’s current state and the two things i have so far is it makes everyone more dumb and also every more paranoid

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✪ Jonathan H. Gray: “Professor of Halloweenery” ✪ @jongraywb.bsky.social · Mar 26

Thinking about that time the My Little Pony comics, of all things, absolutely bodied Scott Adams.

Close up of Pinkie Pie looking at a newspaper comic saying “Hmpf. I thought these were supposed to be funny?”

The comic is called Ponybert by Trot Adams. It opens with a building and we see a word balloon that says “Well?” The second panel is of Ponybert, the Dilbert stand-in saying “No one is smart but me.”

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Mike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 15h

i love when i overthink a problem so profoundly that i actually do uncover something new at the bottom that puts me at ease. it wasn't an anxiety spiral, i was simply swirling down towards the answer-hole

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Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 15h

"Ok, I know this is creepy af but check this out.."

-first taxidermist

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Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 15h

intrusive thought won’t go away of a rattlesnake wearing bells on its rattle and trying to trick me into thinking it’s Santa Claus

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RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 14h

reply with a selfie/pet pic and i’ll surprise you with an edit.

if you’d like a header for your page reply with some things you like, colors, things you vibe with, etc.

xo. tips appreciated but not required: linktr.ee/riotgrlerin

@riotgrlerin | Linktree

Linktree. Make your link do more.

linktr.ee

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mbbendt @bendts2cents.bsky.social · 22h

Pretty sure that when you have giant frogs everywhere, God is very disappointed in how you are treating immigrants.

The Oregonian @oregonian.com · 1d

Things are happening at Portland's ICE facility tonight.

Read more of our protest coverage here: www.oregonlive.com/crime/2025/1...

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Lee Harveryscary @valleyguitarist.bsky.social · 13h

People say snake oil salesperson derogatorily but it's actually a really difficult job, because so few people have snakes that require lubricaction

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 19h

I mean, the thought of an app like that has never occurred to me, and I am not terribly surprised that the people that did think it up may have had some concerning backstory

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 22h

Them: Can you help me?

Me: I don’t work here.

Them: Oh, sorry. *leaves*

My boss: You need to stop doing that.

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lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · 22h

It’s also so surreal to have been worrying about this shit for nigh on 10 years and to see it happening. I feel like the guy who gets crushed by the steamroller in Austin Powers. “Lol”

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A. Marmot 🌱 @aminus.bsky.social · Mar 22

such a classic scene

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 19h

(proudly) My peers at work tell me I have the maturity of a much, much younger man

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Memento (Spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 19h

Never in my life have I ever read a medical report that lists "cardiac age" in it. That isn't a thing.

Reuters @reuters.com · 19h

Trump, 79, has "cardiac age" of 65-year-old, doctor says reut.rs/4mZNZbu

Trump, 79, has "cardiac age" of 65-year-old, doctor says

Donald Trump was found to be in "exceptional health" in a medical evaluation, the U.S. president's doctor said in a memo released by the White House on Friday, with his "cardiac age" 14 years younger than in "chronological age."

reut.rs

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 20h

This is like a high school party that gets busted by the cops and no one knows whose house to go to and dammit I threw out my four loko

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Professor SweetPants @ygrene.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: living under the current administration is now classified as a chronic health condition. additionally, healthcare for that chronic condition is not allowed under the current administration

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

Trying to convince my manager that we can get pretty much anything we want from the campus within a year by just putting stickers that say “Property of Health & Safety Team, please contact [Manager’s Name] before moving.” With as much as things change around here, I’m pretty sure it would work.

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 1d

plagiarizing the last 15 years of simpsons jokes because nobody’s ever heard them

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 22h

If Democrats ever get power back, they should obliterate DHS entirely

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 1d

Who needs sex when you have cool ranch doritos?

Therapist: *scribbling furiously*

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 22h

When events line up to engender conditions that play to the Dems' one true strength (doing nothing), I am still terrified that they will somehow blow it anyway

I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 23h

If someone knocks on the bathroom door while I am using it, I cry out, "The ritual is not yet complete!"

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AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · Mar 26

Him:
You have such beautiful eyes!

Me:
Thank you! I use them for crying

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