Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Jez @jez1.bsky.social · 1h

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that the only constant in the equations is me

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Jez @jez1.bsky.social · 1h

Great news!

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richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 4h

you can whisper kris kross to yourself as a pep talk during a presentation no one will care is a lesson I learned this week

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 1d

HGTV has taught me you can do anything if you have the right tools. I’ve also learned that any handyman you hire will have those tools.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 7h

We just keep letting Jared Leto happen for some reason.

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 2d

Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:

Oops! Somehow, Sister Julie got mysteriously locked in her bedroom with the door nailed shut.... Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor! Let's play pin the tail on the self righteous, domineering ass. God bless.

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 1d

I keep saying “blow me hard” instead of “boulevard” and my coworkers have had about enough of my bullshit for one day

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 5d

srfu I’m headed to Gimbels

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Mark Harris @markharris.bsky.social · 9h

Terribly sad news about one of the greats. Diane Keaton has died at 79.
people.com/diane-keaton...

Diane Keaton, Famed for Roles in 'Father of the Bride,' 'First Wives Club' and More, Dies at 79 (Exclusive)

Diane Keaton has died at age 79. Keaton was best known for roles in movies like 'Annie Hall,' 'The First Wives Club,' 'Something's Gotta Give' and 'The Godfather.'

people.com

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 14h

In 1980, my mom invented the double bow for shoe tying and revolutionized babysitting.

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La Femme Fatali @toomanycommas.bsky.social · 16h

How about making a list of all the people that tried mastodon first and then came here and now like the crotchety old people we are, refuse to go back. You can bury me with my skeets. My last resort is posting on FB again with People I Used to Know™ and I'd rather you just toss me into a river.

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Luke 🏳️‍🌈✈️ @lukeacl.com · 23h

Kid Rock criticising "these chicks running around on campuses with blue hair, five nose rings" when he's literally getting around with those stupid ugly yellow glasses and cowboy hat, and his pedo moustache. Crawl back under a rock and be silent you dumb fuck.

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Jez @jez1.bsky.social · 1d

To read you is to know you. To know you is my life’s quiet joy

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Spooky SteveP 🇨🇦🎃 @stevecantsmell.bsky.social · 2d

I like having a literary friendbase. 🧐
So, who up whiffling they tulgey wood?

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Jez @jez1.bsky.social · 1d

Why me, god?

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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 4d

Why buy the human when you can get the blood for free?

- gross vampires probably

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 1d

if you stay grumpy you dont have to get grumpy

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · Jun 18

“Why is bluesky so incredibly dull” because you haven’t carefully curated a feed of the most unhinged people on the internet, like i have

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Jez @jez1.bsky.social · 1d

Thanks Terry 🫶

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Terry Field @terryfield30.bsky.social · 1d

FOLLOW THESE AMAZING PEOPLE
@jensdad4biden.bsky.social
@jez1.bsky.social
@bunny.sheshed.rocks
@chariselee.bsky.social

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 3d

don't judge a man 'til you've walked a mile in his shoes all the way to the courthouse where you put on a black robe and get your gavel and tell the bailiff to bring in the next defendant and hear their testimony and make a decision by fairly interpreting and applying the law and