Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 1d

It's good to have a good vocabulary

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 2d

not to brag but im probably really good at pole vaulting

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 17h

(Buying a hot dog at the beach and releasing it into the ocean) Go on little one, you're free now

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scary mara @cloudsponge.bsky.social · 12d

scientists have birthed a very large bee. but they keep it hidden

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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 1d

Me: don’t go outside there’s a hippo out there

My brother: I don’t see a hippo

Me: … somewhere

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mave @mave.bsky.social · 1d

you are kidding yourself if you carry a flickering lantern along the winding path through the dark woods and think that the approaching thunderous hoofbeats signal the arrival of anyone other than the inimitable headless horseman

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 1d

Convince your neighbors you own a pet owl by yelling "has anyone seen my pet owl" through their letterbox at 4am

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ghost meesh @subpopularity.bsky.social · Sep 4

bugs are just like us

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terror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 14d

Dust particles for lunch

3 3 49

mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 1d

Stop what you're doing, head down to your local library and check out a book about worms. Unless you're not interested in books about worms, in which case you should probably do something else

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Deathcliff plus Hellmets @heathcliffhelms.heathcliff.cat · 3d

Okay, so you know string cheese? Rope Cheese! It's thicker. Like a rolled up newspaper.

6 8 79

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 2d

got into an argument with my cat again but we came to an agreement: she can do whatever she wants

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nosé @lightblanket.bsky.social · 8d

We’re getting rid of leaf blowers by eating 50 leaves a day each. Get out there

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 2d

People are at their most vulnerable when they're flying a kite... The perfect time to attack

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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 7d

The personal computer was mistake. Computers should be huge and scary

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 2d

I'm never more than 50% aware of what my hands are doing at any time. One time I looked away for a moment and they knitted a scarf

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🦇 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 3d

gonna get a mouse and name it Ratsputin so people will be like "i get it cuz he's a rat" and i'll be like "no he's a mouse"

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lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · 3d

Moon last night gave me powers. Remains to be seen if they’re good or bad. I’m thinking probably mixed bag, like everything

3 57 350

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Isabel Zaw-Tun @izzyzaw.bsky.social · 3d

everybody’s jealous of me since I decided to get plastic surgery to have Cuttlefish skin. they‘re resentful because I camouflage myself as a brick wall or a gorseberry bush in order to steal their croissants off their plates at cafes. I’ve never felt so beautiful

5 65 330

mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 3d

If anyone's free later I was going to make a round of my famous mustard sandwiches then lunge wildly into the side of a parked ambulance for reasons unclear even to me

2 11 65

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Naomi Elizabeth @naomielizabeth.bsky.social · Aug 25

Ghoul and goblin awareness: There are ghouls and goblins

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wargen @funeralpig.bsky.social · Sep 8

i’m going to become the first man to ride a motorcycle through the sun

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 3d

Everyone at work is always talking about how normal I am. "I've never seen someone so normal," they all say, gathering around my desk to cheer and applaud

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terror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 21d

If we all synchronise our movements just right we can produce a dazzling visual illusion that disorients and confuses all predators

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 19d

if you ate food from 2005 you could become ill. but in 2005 you ate it all the time

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