Lance
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daltrain.bsky.social
Lance
@daltrain.bsky.social
I’m dirt, motherfucker, I can’t be crushed.
Reposted by Lance
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
January 3, 2026 at 10:57 PM
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the photographer was definitely like, "ok everybody, look tough!" but we know they're all just reading tweets with their arms crossed in a country club dining room divided up by bedsheets tacked to the beams
January 3, 2026 at 6:36 PM
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So much of American history is just impulsive and extremely stupid elites, who don't believe in consequences because they have never personally experienced them, doing highly consequential stuff because they're bored or believe it might make them richer. I guess a lot of our culture, too.
January 3, 2026 at 7:22 PM
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So many people over decades have been called conspiracy theorists for suggesting that U.S. intervention is driven by capitalist interests, and the interests of the oil industry in particular. Now the president just says it outright in press conferences and interviews.
Q: China, Russia, and Iran have interests in Venezuela. How does this operation affect your relationships with them?

TRUMP: In terms of other countries that want oil, we're in the oil business. We're gonna sell it to them. We'll be selling oil.
January 3, 2026 at 5:34 PM
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There were 220 murders in Philadelphia in 2025 and 133 in Baltimore. Those are the lowest murder counts since 1966 and 1965 respectively in those cities.
January 1, 2026 at 4:13 PM
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Alabama’s homicide rate is more than double New York City’s. Remember that the next time Tommy Tuberville criticizes NYC’s “crime and migrants.”
A remarkable trend that will come as a shock to you if your only info about NYC is from this Fox News.

Homicides in NYC...
1990: 2,262
1993: 1,927
1998: 629
2001: 649
2013: 335
2019: 320
2021: 488
2024: 382
2025 (as of 12/28): 302
January 1, 2026 at 7:58 PM
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Outlook for the new year ...
December 31, 2025 at 11:20 PM
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Excited to announce GOLLUM, an app that helps you focus on your most precious possession!
December 29, 2025 at 2:49 AM
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The NFL getting three garbage games on Christmas is exactly what the NFL deserves for holding three games on Christmas
December 26, 2025 at 2:48 AM
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Merry Christmas! Please enjoy the opening to this Japanese Christmas concert special that I watch every year.

As far as I can tell, this has otherwise been scrubbed from the internet
December 25, 2025 at 3:42 AM
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December 15, 2025 at 2:45 PM
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It’s important to contextualize just how much less safe American drivers are than everywhere else in the world, and it’s getting worse!
December 13, 2025 at 5:15 PM
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December 12, 2025 at 7:33 PM
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second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
November 9, 2025 at 3:10 PM
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They just turned Indivisible into the clean radio edit of DSA
November 10, 2025 at 2:47 AM
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“Ah, oui, garçon, le coq au vin for ze lady, and for me, I will have les tùrdes, merçi”
November 8, 2025 at 4:57 AM
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Dying laughing at this montage of Joe Rogan’s advanced stage brainrot from his love for AI and the excruciating clips of forcing his guests to listen to entire AI made songs from start to finish while he jams out like a spoiled ham loaf jiggling in a deli slicer youtu.be/DUIo20nsBEQ?...
Joe Rogans AI Slop Addiction Is Totally Out Of Control
YouTube video by 2lazy2try
youtu.be
November 3, 2025 at 10:16 PM
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Going to a haunted house and inside it’s just that hallway lined with clapping staffers from “The Jennifer Hudson Show”
November 1, 2025 at 6:59 PM
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Extremely important pupdate from the NYC dog costume competition.
October 27, 2025 at 8:33 PM
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I would laugh if this wasn't so true 😭
October 19, 2025 at 11:42 AM
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15 years of every C suite going “we need to fire the skilled workers and do more internet” and this is how every business works now.
Wife did a gravel order from Lowe’s for me to pick up. I drive to the pick up dock. Guy with a radio comes out. I show him the order receipt. He radios inside. They tell him to tell me to tell my wife to download the app so that she can check in on it to let them know I’m here to pick up the order.
October 12, 2025 at 10:51 PM
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the actual story here, which the media never talks about, is that police in this country have become a discrete right-wing political operation. the story isn't about cops leaving (they're lying about that), it's about the police trying to exert influence over elections.
Lmao is this supposed to be a bad thing?
October 13, 2025 at 1:01 AM
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caught my vampire neighbor creeping through my front door. he claims my saying “for sure dude, we should definitely hang out sometime” the other night counts as an invitation, but I disagree. we’re on hold with the etiquette hotline
October 13, 2025 at 3:18 AM