Reposted by Tom
getting assassinated probably feels good as hell
December 26, 2025 at 5:47 PM
getting assassinated probably feels good as hell
Reposted by Tom
my new year's resolution is to gain 6000 pounds
December 26, 2025 at 11:21 PM
my new year's resolution is to gain 6000 pounds
Reposted by Tom
Me, unable to post a good joke for days: I am shadow banned
December 26, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Me, unable to post a good joke for days: I am shadow banned
Reposted by Tom
any sufficiently advanced catholicism is indistinguishable from witchcraft
December 26, 2025 at 3:12 PM
any sufficiently advanced catholicism is indistinguishable from witchcraft
Reposted by Tom
i had to drop what i was doing to make this
December 23, 2025 at 3:59 PM
i had to drop what i was doing to make this
Reposted by Tom
sequel to The Thing that's just Kurt Russell and Keith David fist fighting for ninety minutes. you never find out if either of them is the thing
December 25, 2025 at 5:55 AM
sequel to The Thing that's just Kurt Russell and Keith David fist fighting for ninety minutes. you never find out if either of them is the thing
Reposted by Tom
Tiny Tim never died. He outlived empires that swore they were forever, oceans of stars that burned to dust and gods who begged to be remembered.
Time unraveled, reason dimmed, even the Great Old Ones fell quiet.
Still he wanders.
Immortal, caroling to the void, last witness to eternity’s lies.
Time unraveled, reason dimmed, even the Great Old Ones fell quiet.
Still he wanders.
Immortal, caroling to the void, last witness to eternity’s lies.
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, notices in the snake’s eyes, which look back without giving any less attention to the future, the first coating of the opaque milky-blue leucoma snakes get when about to throw their skins and become new—meanwhile continuing, of course, to grow old,
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, saw the best minds of his generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix.
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix.
December 25, 2025 at 9:33 AM
Tiny Tim never died. He outlived empires that swore they were forever, oceans of stars that burned to dust and gods who begged to be remembered.
Time unraveled, reason dimmed, even the Great Old Ones fell quiet.
Still he wanders.
Immortal, caroling to the void, last witness to eternity’s lies.
Time unraveled, reason dimmed, even the Great Old Ones fell quiet.
Still he wanders.
Immortal, caroling to the void, last witness to eternity’s lies.
Reposted by Tom
euthanizing pet peeves
December 25, 2025 at 9:48 AM
euthanizing pet peeves
Reposted by Tom
Reposted by Tom
*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
December 25, 2025 at 4:14 AM
*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
Reposted by Tom
time for the only holiday tradition that matters
December 25, 2025 at 3:15 AM
time for the only holiday tradition that matters
Reposted by Tom
it's me. the surprise character in Avengers Doomsday is John Darnielle from the Mountain Goats. I murder half the Avengers with my sick rhymes but you have to see the movie to find out which ones
New Rumor Claims the Third AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY Teaser Trailer Will Focus on a Very Surprising Character
New Rumor Claims the Third AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY Teaser Trailer Will Focus on a Very Surprising Character
The release of director James Cameron ’s sequel Avatar: Fire and Ash has brought the release of the first teaser trailer for Marvel’s highly anticipated Avengers: Doomsday . The first trailer was...
buff.ly
December 25, 2025 at 3:17 AM
it's me. the surprise character in Avengers Doomsday is John Darnielle from the Mountain Goats. I murder half the Avengers with my sick rhymes but you have to see the movie to find out which ones
Reposted by Tom
They're "strike anywhere" matches. Your baby's forehead is a where. No, I don't think that's unreasonable. IT'S NOT LIKE I LIT IT ON FIRE.
December 24, 2025 at 8:18 AM
They're "strike anywhere" matches. Your baby's forehead is a where. No, I don't think that's unreasonable. IT'S NOT LIKE I LIT IT ON FIRE.
bluesky is for real posting perverts
don’t send me over to threads
don’t send me over to threads
December 24, 2025 at 8:24 AM
bluesky is for real posting perverts
don’t send me over to threads
don’t send me over to threads
Reposted by Tom
Forcing 300 heads of cabbage through my neighbor's letterbox for reasons unclear even to me
December 23, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Forcing 300 heads of cabbage through my neighbor's letterbox for reasons unclear even to me
Reposted by Tom
Whenever my postman delivers a package he says "My quest has finally come to an end" and I reply "And so the deed is done" and then we both grip each other by the shoulders and weep together with cathartic joy
December 21, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Whenever my postman delivers a package he says "My quest has finally come to an end" and I reply "And so the deed is done" and then we both grip each other by the shoulders and weep together with cathartic joy
Reposted by Tom
*Listening to a FLAC recording of a gravel truck flipping over on the highway* so true bestie damn
December 21, 2025 at 5:31 AM
*Listening to a FLAC recording of a gravel truck flipping over on the highway* so true bestie damn
Reposted by Tom
Reposted by Tom
'Magic balls' installed by drones could conquer US market thanks to game-changing performance: 'It's never been like this'
December 20, 2025 at 3:49 AM
'Magic balls' installed by drones could conquer US market thanks to game-changing performance: 'It's never been like this'
Reposted by Tom
Reposted by Tom
My response to anything over the next two weeks
December 18, 2025 at 6:10 PM
My response to anything over the next two weeks
Reposted by Tom
GOD: And there will be a shrimp scampi, but no other scampis. It will be alone among scampis. Are you getting this down? Repeat it back.
ANGEL: (fake reading off notebook that says "**MORE** SHRIMP BULLSHIT BLAH BLAH BLAH") Never shall we send unto Creation a second scampi, O Lord.
ANGEL: (fake reading off notebook that says "**MORE** SHRIMP BULLSHIT BLAH BLAH BLAH") Never shall we send unto Creation a second scampi, O Lord.
December 19, 2025 at 6:23 AM
GOD: And there will be a shrimp scampi, but no other scampis. It will be alone among scampis. Are you getting this down? Repeat it back.
ANGEL: (fake reading off notebook that says "**MORE** SHRIMP BULLSHIT BLAH BLAH BLAH") Never shall we send unto Creation a second scampi, O Lord.
ANGEL: (fake reading off notebook that says "**MORE** SHRIMP BULLSHIT BLAH BLAH BLAH") Never shall we send unto Creation a second scampi, O Lord.
Reposted by Tom
The U.S. is giving dying mall vibes.
I can't explain it, but you know I'm right.
I can't explain it, but you know I'm right.
December 17, 2025 at 8:56 PM
The U.S. is giving dying mall vibes.
I can't explain it, but you know I'm right.
I can't explain it, but you know I'm right.
Reposted by Tom
