The Fishpants
@thefishpants.bsky.social
Obscure References, Fart Jokes and Swears*
*ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᶜᶜᵃˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ˢᵘʳᵖʳᶦˢᵉ "ᵖᵉⁿᶦˢ"
My Best Jokes (Allegedly):
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:c7efvddpc6qlokhzdkcpphwg/feed/aaaeubvvn5rcm
All:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaahooxkl375u
*ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᶜᶜᵃˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ˢᵘʳᵖʳᶦˢᵉ "ᵖᵉⁿᶦˢ"
My Best Jokes (Allegedly):
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:c7efvddpc6qlokhzdkcpphwg/feed/aaaeubvvn5rcm
All:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaahooxkl375u
Pinned
The Fishpants
@thefishpants.bsky.social
· Nov 14
A Hellboy sequel where he finally grows up to be Hellman so he can take over the family mayonnaise business
Reposted by The Fishpants
(texting the devil) hey man are you bringing your eggs to the function
November 28, 2024 at 1:07 PM
(texting the devil) hey man are you bringing your eggs to the function
Reposted by The Fishpants
who was the first telegraph shitposter. what was it. stuff like "bloop bloop my good man she S on my OS until i MayDay stop"
November 23, 2025 at 2:59 AM
who was the first telegraph shitposter. what was it. stuff like "bloop bloop my good man she S on my OS until i MayDay stop"
Reposted by The Fishpants
Coffee isn't enough I stare directly at the sun for 30 seconds
November 23, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Coffee isn't enough I stare directly at the sun for 30 seconds
Reposted by The Fishpants
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn, Charlie Brown
You Will Live To See Man-made Horrors Beyond Your Comprehension, Charlie Brown
You Are Witnessing A Great Becoming, Charlie Brown
November 23, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn, Charlie Brown
Reposted by The Fishpants
They should make statues of regular people. Like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff
January 14, 2025 at 4:51 PM
They should make statues of regular people. Like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff
Reposted by The Fishpants
Actually, Mr. Potato Head was the name of the inventor
November 9, 2025 at 11:09 AM
Actually, Mr. Potato Head was the name of the inventor
Reposted by The Fishpants
Steak ’N Shake Employee Screams After Nude RFK Jr. Climbs Out Of Beef Tallow Fryer
Steak ’N Shake Employee Screams After Nude RFK Jr. Climbs Out Of Beef Tallow Fryer
SOUTH BEND, IN—Expressing horror at the sight of the health secretary’s bare torso emerging from the vat of grease, a local Steak ’n Shake employee reportedly screamed Friday after a nude Robert F. Ke...
theonion.com
November 21, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Steak ’N Shake Employee Screams After Nude RFK Jr. Climbs Out Of Beef Tallow Fryer
Reposted by The Fishpants
My wife is all pissed because I reported her to PETA for beating a dead horse.
November 21, 2025 at 9:16 PM
My wife is all pissed because I reported her to PETA for beating a dead horse.
Reposted by The Fishpants
I’m reading a book about drilling deep vertical holes. It’s boring
I'm reading a book about plumbing but I just can't see where it's going
i'm reading a book about wiring and it's shocking
November 22, 2025 at 10:50 PM
I’m reading a book about drilling deep vertical holes. It’s boring
Reposted by The Fishpants
**Snorting lines of hot chocolate and sharpening candy canes to prepare for the war on Christmas.
November 21, 2025 at 1:39 AM
**Snorting lines of hot chocolate and sharpening candy canes to prepare for the war on Christmas.
Reposted by The Fishpants
I'm book
Picasso
place
the
it's
reading a
and
about all over
Picasso
place
the
it's
reading a
and
about all over
I'm reading a book about plumbing but I just can't see where it's going
i'm reading a book about wiring and it's shocking
November 22, 2025 at 10:45 PM
I'm book
Picasso
place
the
it's
reading a
and
about all over
Picasso
place
the
it's
reading a
and
about all over
I'm reading a book about plumbing but I just can't see where it's going
i'm reading a book about wiring and it's shocking
I’m reading a book about drywall but I’m too plastered to focus.
November 22, 2025 at 10:43 PM
I'm reading a book about plumbing but I just can't see where it's going
Reposted by The Fishpants
dreamt about nanobots that fell in love, replicated, and covered the earth in grey goo until life was extinguished. why am i like this
March 14, 2025 at 10:47 AM
dreamt about nanobots that fell in love, replicated, and covered the earth in grey goo until life was extinguished. why am i like this
Reposted by The Fishpants
if you have pedialyte in your cart along with alcohol that should count as your ID
November 22, 2025 at 10:32 PM
if you have pedialyte in your cart along with alcohol that should count as your ID
Reposted by The Fishpants
Abstract evening in the rain...
November 22, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Abstract evening in the rain...
Reposted by The Fishpants
[making phone call]
me: hello yes, i have a structured settlement-
jg wentworth: ok
me: and it’s working out great
jg wentworth: (venomous) you son of a bitch
me: hello yes, i have a structured settlement-
jg wentworth: ok
me: and it’s working out great
jg wentworth: (venomous) you son of a bitch
November 22, 2025 at 10:04 PM
[making phone call]
me: hello yes, i have a structured settlement-
jg wentworth: ok
me: and it’s working out great
jg wentworth: (venomous) you son of a bitch
me: hello yes, i have a structured settlement-
jg wentworth: ok
me: and it’s working out great
jg wentworth: (venomous) you son of a bitch
Reposted by The Fishpants
Hey homie can I offer you an assortment of leftover Taco Bell hotsauce packets as an hors d'oeuvres?
November 21, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Hey homie can I offer you an assortment of leftover Taco Bell hotsauce packets as an hors d'oeuvres?
Hey #booksky if you like a hide-the-body thriller that keeps it moving with ratcheting tension and plot twists, may I suggest The Cemetery Spot by @jennamoquin.bsky.social
The reveal of the dark secret from the past gave me legit goosebumps.
www.amazon.com/Cemetery-Spo...
The reveal of the dark secret from the past gave me legit goosebumps.
www.amazon.com/Cemetery-Spo...
The Cemetery Spot: A Chilling Psychological Thriller
April and August. Two sisters with a deadly secret. And a lie that binds them tighter than blood.
One night, they make a decision that changes everything. A man is dead. Their fingerprints are everyw...
www.amazon.com
November 20, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Hey #booksky if you like a hide-the-body thriller that keeps it moving with ratcheting tension and plot twists, may I suggest The Cemetery Spot by @jennamoquin.bsky.social
The reveal of the dark secret from the past gave me legit goosebumps.
www.amazon.com/Cemetery-Spo...
The reveal of the dark secret from the past gave me legit goosebumps.
www.amazon.com/Cemetery-Spo...
Reposted by The Fishpants
Taunting my enemies by making a sandwich where 1 bread is at a 90° angle to the other bread
November 17, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Taunting my enemies by making a sandwich where 1 bread is at a 90° angle to the other bread
Reposted by The Fishpants
The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” Instant boner.
November 17, 2025 at 12:19 AM
The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” Instant boner.
Reposted by The Fishpants
don’t even talk to me until i’ve had my night potato
November 10, 2025 at 3:45 AM
don’t even talk to me until i’ve had my night potato
Reposted by The Fishpants
Watching "The Witcher: Sirens of the Deep" with my son: Shouting "Fishfucker!" at random intervals is wonderful, "Chekhov's Rifle" is now "Chekhov's Asshole" and is threatening to mutate into other body parts. This is real parenting.
May 26, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Watching "The Witcher: Sirens of the Deep" with my son: Shouting "Fishfucker!" at random intervals is wonderful, "Chekhov's Rifle" is now "Chekhov's Asshole" and is threatening to mutate into other body parts. This is real parenting.
Reposted by The Fishpants
Growing up in a time when “selling out” was the most shameful thing you could do and then being forced to live through the 2020s feels like being kicked in the head by a horse every day
November 13, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Growing up in a time when “selling out” was the most shameful thing you could do and then being forced to live through the 2020s feels like being kicked in the head by a horse every day
Reposted by The Fishpants
This goes for pretty much every creature except cops to be fair
November 14, 2025 at 12:38 AM
This goes for pretty much every creature except cops to be fair
Reposted by The Fishpants
no no the toymaker is geppetto pinocchio is geppetto’s monster
November 13, 2025 at 9:17 AM
no no the toymaker is geppetto pinocchio is geppetto’s monster