The Fishpants
@thefishpants.bsky.social
Obscure References, Fart Jokes and Swears*
*ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᶜᶜᵃˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ˢᵘʳᵖʳᶦˢᵉ "ᵖᵉⁿᶦˢ"
My Best Jokes (Allegedly):
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:c7efvddpc6qlokhzdkcpphwg/feed/aaaeubvvn5rcm
All:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaahooxkl375u
*ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᶜᶜᵃˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ˢᵘʳᵖʳᶦˢᵉ "ᵖᵉⁿᶦˢ"
My Best Jokes (Allegedly):
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:c7efvddpc6qlokhzdkcpphwg/feed/aaaeubvvn5rcm
All:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaahooxkl375u
Pinned
The Fishpants
@thefishpants.bsky.social
· Nov 14
A Hellboy sequel where he finally grows up to be Hellman so he can take over the family mayonnaise business
His name in this movie was Larry Cake
February 8, 2026 at 1:24 PM
His name in this movie was Larry Cake
DID YOU KNOW?
If you could take out your brain and weigh it on a scale, it would be gross
If you could take out your brain and weigh it on a scale, it would be gross
January 25, 2026 at 6:37 PM
DID YOU KNOW?
If you could take out your brain and weigh it on a scale, it would be gross
If you could take out your brain and weigh it on a scale, it would be gross
Reposted by The Fishpants
In a fast German car
I'm amazed that I survived
A chicken saved my life
I'm amazed that I survived
A chicken saved my life
January 22, 2026 at 11:50 PM
In a fast German car
I'm amazed that I survived
A chicken saved my life
I'm amazed that I survived
A chicken saved my life
Reposted by The Fishpants
🎶CHICKENS, CHICKENS!
CHICKEN OF PUPPETS
I'M PULLING YOUR STRINGS!
CHICKEN YOUR MIND AND CHICKEN YOUR DREAMS!🎶
CHICKEN OF PUPPETS
I'M PULLING YOUR STRINGS!
CHICKEN YOUR MIND AND CHICKEN YOUR DREAMS!🎶
January 22, 2026 at 11:19 PM
🎶CHICKENS, CHICKENS!
CHICKEN OF PUPPETS
I'M PULLING YOUR STRINGS!
CHICKEN YOUR MIND AND CHICKEN YOUR DREAMS!🎶
CHICKEN OF PUPPETS
I'M PULLING YOUR STRINGS!
CHICKEN YOUR MIND AND CHICKEN YOUR DREAMS!🎶
Reposted by The Fishpants
You know that means that not only is this post about me, but basically any song with a two-syllable word in it...
You really can replace just about any 2-syllable word in just about any song with "chicken"
January 22, 2026 at 10:50 PM
You know that means that not only is this post about me, but basically any song with a two-syllable word in it...
You really can replace just about any 2-syllable word in just about any song with "chicken"
January 22, 2026 at 10:47 PM
You really can replace just about any 2-syllable word in just about any song with "chicken"
Reposted by The Fishpants
i am so sick of the dumbest people alive being in charge of everything and the second dumbest people alive writing opinion columns about how it's good
August 21, 2025 at 4:30 PM
i am so sick of the dumbest people alive being in charge of everything and the second dumbest people alive writing opinion columns about how it's good
Reposted by The Fishpants
Tupperware is great for when you want to throw your food out on a different day . . .
January 19, 2026 at 1:14 PM
Tupperware is great for when you want to throw your food out on a different day . . .
Reposted by The Fishpants
forgetting the word Domesticated and telling people at this party raccoons have gotten "more coachable." at some point i start adding "over the offseason" which i don't think raccoons even have yet
January 11, 2026 at 1:40 AM
forgetting the word Domesticated and telling people at this party raccoons have gotten "more coachable." at some point i start adding "over the offseason" which i don't think raccoons even have yet
Reposted by The Fishpants
The hospital is spicy today already and no amount of coffee can save me now
January 9, 2026 at 12:35 PM
The hospital is spicy today already and no amount of coffee can save me now
Reposted by The Fishpants
So Wagotabi, a language learning game I gave myself for Christmas, has fully cracked to code on me the same way DuoLingo did: by making this shit competitive.
My favorite minigame is "Saeki's Kanji," where you match kanji/hiragana/images/definitions.
Determined to get in the top 500 globally.
My favorite minigame is "Saeki's Kanji," where you match kanji/hiragana/images/definitions.
Determined to get in the top 500 globally.
January 9, 2026 at 12:01 PM
So Wagotabi, a language learning game I gave myself for Christmas, has fully cracked to code on me the same way DuoLingo did: by making this shit competitive.
My favorite minigame is "Saeki's Kanji," where you match kanji/hiragana/images/definitions.
Determined to get in the top 500 globally.
My favorite minigame is "Saeki's Kanji," where you match kanji/hiragana/images/definitions.
Determined to get in the top 500 globally.
Reposted by The Fishpants
You don't owe anyone online anything. Except me. You owe me $20.
January 8, 2026 at 11:28 PM
You don't owe anyone online anything. Except me. You owe me $20.
Reposted by The Fishpants
My parents are divorced so we have two January 6ths
January 7, 2026 at 12:49 AM
My parents are divorced so we have two January 6ths
Reposted by The Fishpants
good morning only to people who have received a consequence at some point and understand the concept of it
January 9, 2026 at 12:37 PM
good morning only to people who have received a consequence at some point and understand the concept of it
Reposted by The Fishpants
good morning to everyone out there except people who are speedrunning the downfall of society
January 9, 2026 at 12:32 PM
good morning to everyone out there except people who are speedrunning the downfall of society
Reposted by The Fishpants
I'll never forgive crypto bros for making con artistry so boring
January 6, 2026 at 7:24 PM
I'll never forgive crypto bros for making con artistry so boring
Reposted by The Fishpants
Am I fun at parties? If you're interested in the latest suicide stats or facts, or mayhaps a spirited conversation about how Jesus was the first documented case of schizophrenia, then yes, super fun at parties
January 8, 2026 at 11:55 PM
Am I fun at parties? If you're interested in the latest suicide stats or facts, or mayhaps a spirited conversation about how Jesus was the first documented case of schizophrenia, then yes, super fun at parties
Reposted by The Fishpants
hey i noticed you don't matter, i also don't matter. would you like to start an inscrutable public beef?
January 4, 2026 at 10:49 PM
hey i noticed you don't matter, i also don't matter. would you like to start an inscrutable public beef?
Reposted by The Fishpants
omg everything is so awful go get a library card and kiss a dog
January 8, 2026 at 1:06 AM
omg everything is so awful go get a library card and kiss a dog
Reposted by The Fishpants
Reposted by The Fishpants
We're all just sausages waiting to burst from our casings and rise to the Kingdom of Heaven.
January 8, 2026 at 1:10 PM
We're all just sausages waiting to burst from our casings and rise to the Kingdom of Heaven.
Reposted by The Fishpants
Reposted by The Fishpants
that’s one long mermaid
December 31, 2025 at 1:54 PM
that’s one long mermaid
Reposted by The Fishpants
I want a new year...one that does what it should.
December 31, 2025 at 1:42 PM
I want a new year...one that does what it should.