Stevevsninjas
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stevevsninjas.bsky.social
Stevevsninjas
@stevevsninjas.bsky.social
Former zygote.
The Size of Car Keys Over Time
November 10, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
The diagram for what Palantir does is like if Richard Scarry got super paranoid and did an Apocalypse picture book
November 7, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
I hate watching a whole country fail its Constitution saving throw
October 31, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
They're going to change the clocks this weekend and the president is powerless to stop it. Because he's weak and a loser. That's what they're saying sir
October 27, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
ME: So you see dead people?

GHOST THERAPIST: Those with insurance, yes.
October 27, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter
October 17, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
me: hello, i have a structured settlement-

jg wentworth: go on

me: but I don’t need cash now

jg wentworth: i am going to have you killed
July 15, 2024 at 11:01 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
i want to do another version of this post like two times a week
president obama holds a press conference at CVS
YouTube video by Phil Jamesson
www.youtube.com
October 16, 2025 at 2:43 PM
this onion ring, in the jaws of a predator, may seem doomed. but it has a surprise in store. it sheds its searing hot onion core, burning the lips of of its would-be diner, while the crunchy exterior makes its escape
October 16, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
My brain sees this and immediately begins playing the civil war theme music
October 10, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
spilled spaghetti on my recliner like the oaf i am and my wife sent me this
September 29, 2025 at 11:47 PM
[extremely loud Sting voice]
BOX FAN
September 29, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
(final thought as i'm swiftly slain by a band of ninja assassins) kind of a crazy amount of ninjas to hire for this
September 29, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit
September 26, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
say what you will about mr. beast, he's enormously talented at a very particular skillset and it's an indictment of the system that he uses them for profit instead of something socially constructive, like building civic structures that defy euclidian space & drive the bureaucrats inside mad
September 29, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Fred Armisen: Are you going to the war?

Carrie Brownstein: No, there's supposed to be a really good potluck after the dog fashion show
September 27, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
War ravaged Portland
September 27, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
ANTREEFA
September 27, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Sorry, infant baby child with a 105° fever, president dipshit says you have to tough it out.
September 22, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
RFK Jr seeing the cover of an Animorphs novel and immediately making the sound of a sentient cartoon jalopy struggling to climb a hill as he decries what’s being done to our children
September 22, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again
September 22, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene

RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*

A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”

Person watching on tv: well if they say so
September 23, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
A gun that shoots Tylenol so this administration will stop worrying about what it does to children.
September 23, 2025 at 10:25 AM
Found a big pile of clothes next to the shower in my children's bathroom, rapture is the only reasonable explanation
September 23, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.
September 22, 2025 at 11:21 PM