Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Me: *chopping onions*
Wife: Are you crying?
Me: I used to have a pet onion when I was a kid
Wife: Are you crying?
Me: I used to have a pet onion when I was a kid
January 18, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Me: *chopping onions*
Wife: Are you crying?
Me: I used to have a pet onion when I was a kid
Wife: Are you crying?
Me: I used to have a pet onion when I was a kid
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
President Trump has an opportunity to do the most popular thing he's ever done
January 21, 2026 at 5:20 AM
President Trump has an opportunity to do the most popular thing he's ever done
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
With arms like bookends you can check out a whole shelf from the library in one shot but what the hell do I know, only all of the shit in 613.713 weight training and strength development
January 16, 2026 at 5:08 PM
With arms like bookends you can check out a whole shelf from the library in one shot but what the hell do I know, only all of the shit in 613.713 weight training and strength development
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
I hate it when I uncover an ancient artifact that grants me extraordinary powers only to discover that I am now a pawn in an eternal cosmic battle between the forces of light and darkness
August 2, 2024 at 1:20 PM
I hate it when I uncover an ancient artifact that grants me extraordinary powers only to discover that I am now a pawn in an eternal cosmic battle between the forces of light and darkness
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
we interrupt the government coverup of the nation’s largest child sex trafficking scandal to bring you the government coverup of state sponsored murder.
January 7, 2026 at 9:14 PM
we interrupt the government coverup of the nation’s largest child sex trafficking scandal to bring you the government coverup of state sponsored murder.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
January 7, 2026 at 8:26 PM
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
my nephew drew me this. you think it’s cute well it’s not he’s 23 and recently pardoned for taking a shit inside the Capitol on January 6th
January 6, 2026 at 6:03 PM
my nephew drew me this. you think it’s cute well it’s not he’s 23 and recently pardoned for taking a shit inside the Capitol on January 6th
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Doing this challenge called “January” where I try to make it through the whole month of January
January 4, 2026 at 8:03 PM
Doing this challenge called “January” where I try to make it through the whole month of January
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Marco Rubio is reportedly saying Maduro will stand trial in US courts.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
January 3, 2026 at 10:52 AM
Marco Rubio is reportedly saying Maduro will stand trial in US courts.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
Out enjoying the last beautiful moon of 2025 before it is dynamited into rubble and used to build a giant Trump head.
January 1, 2026 at 2:01 AM
Out enjoying the last beautiful moon of 2025 before it is dynamited into rubble and used to build a giant Trump head.
haha what, you think I put Ozempic in the christmas tree water? that's crazy
December 22, 2025 at 4:58 PM
haha what, you think I put Ozempic in the christmas tree water? that's crazy
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Hey, Dad. All my life I have been the stone in the creek. Shaped by forces moving around me that I could not understand. Today I will become the creek. I will swell over the banks and into the world. I will make it smaller. I will reduce all things. Hope you get this voicemail. Hope you can swim.
December 11, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Hey, Dad. All my life I have been the stone in the creek. Shaped by forces moving around me that I could not understand. Today I will become the creek. I will swell over the banks and into the world. I will make it smaller. I will reduce all things. Hope you get this voicemail. Hope you can swim.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
I thought they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes but a peace prize fell out of mine.
December 10, 2025 at 5:21 PM
I thought they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes but a peace prize fell out of mine.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
just got a text from my basement that says Scary Noise and i am freaking out
December 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
just got a text from my basement that says Scary Noise and i am freaking out
Co-pilot: that was our third pass. When are you going to land?
Dog Pilot: just need to circle a few more times before I lay her down
Dog Pilot: just need to circle a few more times before I lay her down
December 6, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Co-pilot: that was our third pass. When are you going to land?
Dog Pilot: just need to circle a few more times before I lay her down
Dog Pilot: just need to circle a few more times before I lay her down
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
The only thing that can stop a bad ai with a gun is a good ai with a gun
December 3, 2025 at 10:39 PM
The only thing that can stop a bad ai with a gun is a good ai with a gun
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Can’t believe I got ripped off on NefariousBroWeb & my Greedcoin is now worthless
December 2, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Can’t believe I got ripped off on NefariousBroWeb & my Greedcoin is now worthless
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Have to go back to eating smaller birds tomorrow. Ugh.
November 30, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Have to go back to eating smaller birds tomorrow. Ugh.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
[I turn on the TV and every channel is showing me being burned in effigy] This can't be good
November 30, 2025 at 12:36 AM
[I turn on the TV and every channel is showing me being burned in effigy] This can't be good
Arriving at my funeral, you are woefully unprepared for the sight of my embalmed corpse doing full Van Damme splits between two coffins.
November 28, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Arriving at my funeral, you are woefully unprepared for the sight of my embalmed corpse doing full Van Damme splits between two coffins.
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
Police say he then turned the epic vulgar roast on himself
November 26, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Police say he then turned the epic vulgar roast on himself
Reposted by Stevevsninjas
YEAH I want to use Sticky Keys! Thanks for popping up to ask me about this thing which I both obviously know about and want to always be turning on! (smiling slightly) Uhhhhh. That is, ... *NOT*
November 26, 2025 at 8:14 PM
YEAH I want to use Sticky Keys! Thanks for popping up to ask me about this thing which I both obviously know about and want to always be turning on! (smiling slightly) Uhhhhh. That is, ... *NOT*