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C 🇨🇦

@coffeeinhand.bsky.social

2.8K followers 590 following 1.1K posts

Chief cat wrangler. Coffee connoisseur. Horror Enthusiast. Hot Garbage: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:brt3y4qbhsywu3m3tzg4hucr/feed/aaab5occtum4g

bsky.app

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 2d

can mosquitos smell farts

14 26 75

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Queen RanDumb @invisihole.bsky.social · 5d

I'm refusing to use Mastodon solely due to its dumb fucking name.

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 3d

I can’t explain it but Jewel sings in cursive

12 41 160

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canadian blondii ︎✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 3d

you haven’t deleted your account and come back 3 hours later in a while… you good?

2 9 32

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Melicious @honeybadgermel.bsky.social · Jul 8

Verbal sparring and other simple pleasures.

45 62

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J_Curtis 🇨🇦 @j-curtis.bsky.social · Sep 1

Let's go play on the swings. I'll give you an underduck

1 12 30

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Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 10d

Many say they want the hooba, and then complain about the stank.

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AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 4h

Balls are the tits of the taint

9 25 81

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James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 3h

I've been researching colanders all day, and I feel strained.

11 16 85

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Knew Nic @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 3h

Spending time on the ‘Discover’ feed just to feel something

3 9 38

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 5h

I'm going to buy a dog and tell it all of my problems

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trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 5h

if we made it directly at source, all grilled cheeses would be grilled steaks

3 7 22

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 6d

Never become so old in your soul that your heart forgets how to laugh.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 15h

Autocorrect automatically adds imaginary when I type "friend."

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 7h

Rage Against the Muh Peen

3 8 28

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BooSlice👻🔪 @twosense.bsky.social · 7h

Farting on your straw man until it bursts into flames

7 14 48

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 21h

My car needs to get ahold of itself- my engine isn’t the only thing around here that needs serviced, so it’s going to have to wait its turn

1 12 35

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 2d

Brain damage is probably my most endearing quality.

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I'mWinters✂️SerialMom @imwintersmom.bsky.social · 2d

giving neurotic mess a run for its money

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 4d

Just ate a piece of fruit as though staying alive is worth while.

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 2d

[at stoplight]

*gets out of car, knocks on driver's window behind me after following me for 3 turns*

Me: Are you obsessed with me?

4 53 100

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 2d

This is like a high school party that gets busted by the cops and no one knows whose house to go to and dammit I threw out my four loko

8 45 150

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 1d

I surprise others by not being a pushover.

3 21 54

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I'mWinters✂️SerialMom @imwintersmom.bsky.social · 17h

i got the taint of a bad toot in my mouth so came here to gargle some skeet, hope it works

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BooSlice👻🔪 @twosense.bsky.social · 1d

My emotional support pickle just told me to stop eating my feelings

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