Melicious
@honeybadgermel.bsky.social
Thinks too much, talks too little. Born a gold rush saloon owner in the age of technology. Go figure...
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:suhdwtoqinxndxizjc27ulko/feed/aaakejkcgubai
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:suhdwtoqinxndxizjc27ulko/feed/aaakejkcgubai
Pinned
Apathy is so yesterday. Get with the times people.
Reposted by Melicious
My work friend gave me some cans of wet food that her cats didn't like, so when I come home and start pulling a bunch of cans of food out of my pockets my cats will probably think I've turned to a life of crime
November 27, 2025 at 12:38 AM
My work friend gave me some cans of wet food that her cats didn't like, so when I come home and start pulling a bunch of cans of food out of my pockets my cats will probably think I've turned to a life of crime
Reposted by Melicious
Rest assured, I’m gonna go back to thinking about cartoons and laughing.
November 27, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Rest assured, I’m gonna go back to thinking about cartoons and laughing.
Reposted by Melicious
Unpopular opinion: mine
November 25, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Unpopular opinion: mine
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speed dating but it’s just a scholastic book fair for adults
November 26, 2025 at 9:49 PM
speed dating but it’s just a scholastic book fair for adults
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my childhood dog was named Turkey because when my mom and dad picked him up as a puppy he puked in the car and my dad called him a jive turkey but Thanksgiving was confusing because I'm sure as shit not gonna eat the dog mom wtf are you talking about
November 27, 2025 at 12:51 AM
my childhood dog was named Turkey because when my mom and dad picked him up as a puppy he puked in the car and my dad called him a jive turkey but Thanksgiving was confusing because I'm sure as shit not gonna eat the dog mom wtf are you talking about
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are you there god, it’s me…what? you’re not there bc you don’t exist? then who is this?
November 25, 2025 at 1:56 PM
are you there god, it’s me…what? you’re not there bc you don’t exist? then who is this?
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we’re all in the same insane asylum together
November 18, 2025 at 4:12 AM
we’re all in the same insane asylum together
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Remember the 80s, when all the hair on women's bodies permanently transferred itself to men's faces. It's been growing there ever since.
November 17, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Remember the 80s, when all the hair on women's bodies permanently transferred itself to men's faces. It's been growing there ever since.
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him: She was a nightmare
me:
me:
November 20, 2025 at 3:51 AM
him: She was a nightmare
me:
me:
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What’s the Bluesky equivalent of politely smiling and nodding when you have no clue what anyone is talking about?
November 24, 2025 at 10:54 PM
What’s the Bluesky equivalent of politely smiling and nodding when you have no clue what anyone is talking about?
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There are two types of people at Thanksgiving: those who think the "special" brownies are just extra fudgy, and those who are currently trying to listen to the color of the canned cranberry sauce.
November 26, 2025 at 5:16 PM
There are two types of people at Thanksgiving: those who think the "special" brownies are just extra fudgy, and those who are currently trying to listen to the color of the canned cranberry sauce.
Reposted by Melicious
Dilemma: I can only find one pair of reading glasses and I need reading glasses to fix my reading glasses.
November 26, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Dilemma: I can only find one pair of reading glasses and I need reading glasses to fix my reading glasses.
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Today I started the "no sweets 4 weeks" challenge which I will restart tomorrow.
October 24, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Today I started the "no sweets 4 weeks" challenge which I will restart tomorrow.
Reposted by Melicious
One Venti lobotomy, please.
November 26, 2025 at 5:39 PM
One Venti lobotomy, please.
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Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
November 26, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
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All I ask of you is that we hate the same things. We’ll walk side-by-side, hating things
January 31, 2025 at 9:51 PM
All I ask of you is that we hate the same things. We’ll walk side-by-side, hating things
Reposted by Melicious
imagine hating me and i'm just over here trying to shrink myself so i can live in a dollhouse
November 23, 2025 at 5:14 PM
imagine hating me and i'm just over here trying to shrink myself so i can live in a dollhouse
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An American expresses gratitude for "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."
A Canadian expresses gratitude that the pothole at the end of the driveway hasn't yet swallowed their car.
A Canadian expresses gratitude that the pothole at the end of the driveway hasn't yet swallowed their car.
November 26, 2025 at 12:41 PM
An American expresses gratitude for "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."
A Canadian expresses gratitude that the pothole at the end of the driveway hasn't yet swallowed their car.
A Canadian expresses gratitude that the pothole at the end of the driveway hasn't yet swallowed their car.
Reposted by Melicious
If your doctor’s handwriting could sing, it’d sound exactly like Eddie Vedder.
November 25, 2025 at 11:06 PM
If your doctor’s handwriting could sing, it’d sound exactly like Eddie Vedder.
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can’t teach an old dog to fish
November 25, 2025 at 11:07 PM
can’t teach an old dog to fish
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So how long have you been in therapy <flirting>
November 25, 2025 at 4:36 AM
So how long have you been in therapy <flirting>
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Her: do you like The Beatles?
Me: Ellen or Rigby is my favorite song
Me: Ellen or Rigby is my favorite song
November 25, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Her: do you like The Beatles?
Me: Ellen or Rigby is my favorite song
Me: Ellen or Rigby is my favorite song
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calling the butterball hotline and asking them when will life get better
November 26, 2025 at 1:03 PM
calling the butterball hotline and asking them when will life get better
Reposted by Melicious
Just added "bifocal curious" to my dating profile
November 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Just added "bifocal curious" to my dating profile