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Dreamer

@elgatoesmio.bsky.social

2.8K followers 1.1K following 670 posts

wondering through the woods bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaag4k6yxumoy

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 10d

“breast milk” implies that we can milk other body parts

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 5h

Thank you. Yep we both cant believe she’s real

Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 6h

Smoking my pipe dream

Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 6h

At this point in the matrix can we call a hallucination a delusion??

Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 6h

Hey guys please stop calling my girlfriend a “hallucination”

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 21h

Awe love them

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 3d

I let the rain melt my worries away. It took some skin chunks as well, but I'm not worried about it.

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Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 10d

I haven’t been paying attention. Did we ever rule out Ted Cruz as the zodiac killer?

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 1d

Burying some 12-foot skeletons in my garden just to fuck with future archaeologists.

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Wolfe Van Mural @guytheguy.bsky.social · 6d

always think to myself “how do they know?” anytime anyone calls me bologna breath

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 5d

Theory: all the different types of medications in our water supply will all cancel each other out and have us feeling pretty good.

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Bigthinkingcap @bigthinkingcap.bsky.social · 1d

Watching the last plane of freedom take off from the U.S…
cause I spent all my money on Halloween candy instead of a ticket

Depiction of a meerkat with a silver link chain and a silver earring and a brown tweed newsboy cap on. A vague look of amusement or smugness as a toothpick hangs from the corner of its mouth

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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 6d

I have a big family get-together in a couple of hours, so I still have time to fake my own death

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 4d

My next business venture is a new line of cuck chairs for hotel rooms around the world. Cucks deserve our very best

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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 4d

New game: Lie or nap. You're allowed either to tell a lie or take a nap

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 1d

Yes based on a true story

Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 1d

Survey says: best answer

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 1d

Don't underestimate me. I could do much worse.

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 1d

Some of y'all are like the group of meth heads camped at the dollar general, seeking a bigger high, well, I'll pull the band-aid off, you peaked, it's only downhill from here

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🕷🕸Myandra is spooky🕸🕷 He can't cheat death. 🧛🏼‍♀️86/47 @myandra.bsky.social · 1d

Evidently, you can teach a cat to ride a bicycle!

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d

I bet an octopus would be really good at moon walking if they just applied themselves.

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Lori @cornjerker78.bsky.social · 3d

Judge: you’re here because you booped the cop on the nose

Me: your honor, may I approach the bench?

Judge covering his nose: absolutely not

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 5d

I may not be able to help you connect to the wifi but I can adjust the tracking on yer VCR

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Lori @cornjerker78.bsky.social · 4d

Me: You didn’t save me any pizza?

Friend: you didn’t ask.

Me: Life’s given me all kinds of shit I didn’t ask for.

Friend: not pizza.

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 1d

Lying in bed warm like a corpse before rigamortus sets in.

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ThinlyVeiledPanda @thinlyveiledpanda.bsky.social · 1d

How hard do I have to shake the little glowing doom rectangle before dopamine comes out?

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