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Wolfe Van Mural

@guytheguy.bsky.social

5.3K followers 660 following 1.6K posts

Keep it on & poppin Church https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagz72go6z42

bsky.app

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural

Corduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social · Dec 31

Would you like me to circumcize this for you?

~ server in a cannibal restaurant

2 5 18

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 14h

Burying some 12-foot skeletons in my garden just to fuck with future archaeologists.

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Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 15d

WARDEN: and for your last meal?

ME: everlasting gobstopper

WARDEN: son of a

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 21h

not to brag but im probably really good at pole vaulting

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Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 1d

*brings a grilled cheese to a knife fight so someone will cut it into triangles for me*

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 3d

Walking on sunshine will melt your crocs.

45 100

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 1d

Bluesky taught me the joy of blocking. I block people everywhere now. I just blocked an ex boyfriend on duolingo. I can't stop.

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Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 18h

The thing about burning all of your bridges is that you might be alone, but at least you're warm.

4 8

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 1d

got into an argument with my cat again but we came to an agreement: she can do whatever she wants

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 1d

It's sad how people expect change without actually changing anything. It's me, I'm people.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 1d

Calories don't count if they don't satisfy your craving.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

It's better for everyone concerned if you don't ask why tonight's ham is saltier than usual.

4 9 26

Wolfe Van Mural @guytheguy.bsky.social · 1d

a surprise party in your honor
as you approach the door the anticipation thickens
we all get real quiet but
never.
fuckin.
answer.
fuck you

5 8

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 1d

*brings updated terms and conditions to a knife fight*

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 1d

A bro sitting in his orange jeep wearing an orange hat and orange sunglasses and an orange shirt and the license plate says CRUSH.

4 28 120

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 3d

Whenever I tell my kids they are putting the cart before the horse they look at me with dead eyes so I know it's time for me to explain how horse transportation worked

1 25 110

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 6d

GIRLFRIEND: So tell me something I don't already know about you.

ME: During October I call my Dyson 'Count Vacula'

HER: I need to see other people.

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 2d

they say that exercise helps depression, but how did accidentally sharting on a treadmill help exactly

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Wolfe Van Mural @guytheguy.bsky.social · 2d

the outdoor school lunch scene from can’t buy me love but it’s guac reminding everyone that salsa used to be our best friend

3 6

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 2d

waiter: would you like some capers with your pasta

batman: what

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Marjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · 2d

"The Wrap of Khan" would be a good name for a Star Trek-themed shawarma cart

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Wolfe Van Mural @guytheguy.bsky.social · Oct 3

We’ve already reached our household gourd limit and my gf is about to make a quick gourd run rn

2 23 60

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 2d

how many apps do i have to flip through to see god

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Los 🥑 @los-los.bsky.social · 2d

Roman doctors be like:
HE NEEDS A 4, STAT

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Wolfe Van Mural @guytheguy.bsky.social · 2d

literally can’t make myself any more abduct/probe’able wtf is the hold up

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