Wolfe Van Mural
@guytheguy.bsky.social
Keep it on & poppin
Church
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagz72go6z42
Church
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagz72go6z42
shitting my pants three steps away from the toilet just to remind myself I’m alive
January 21, 2026 at 9:28 PM
shitting my pants three steps away from the toilet just to remind myself I’m alive
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
imagine playing hockey
WRONG, more sex
WRONG, more sex
January 20, 2026 at 11:28 PM
imagine playing hockey
WRONG, more sex
WRONG, more sex
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
early bird boyfriend, worm girlfriend
January 21, 2026 at 1:56 AM
early bird boyfriend, worm girlfriend
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Chewing the glass from the bulb of my SAD lamp.
January 21, 2026 at 7:29 PM
Chewing the glass from the bulb of my SAD lamp.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
the first time a skeleton hand popped outta the ground and tried to grab me was shocking but I’m totally used to it now
January 19, 2026 at 12:28 AM
the first time a skeleton hand popped outta the ground and tried to grab me was shocking but I’m totally used to it now
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
one mood away from getting a tattoo that says eyebrows on my forehead
December 30, 2025 at 10:31 PM
one mood away from getting a tattoo that says eyebrows on my forehead
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
I like to leave a lasting impression, like a book you can't put down or a grotesque wound that you can't forget.
January 17, 2026 at 2:12 AM
I like to leave a lasting impression, like a book you can't put down or a grotesque wound that you can't forget.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
[Batman voice]
🎶 Hot pockets 🎶
🎶 Hot pockets 🎶
January 17, 2026 at 12:14 AM
[Batman voice]
🎶 Hot pockets 🎶
🎶 Hot pockets 🎶
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Part of me wants to open up sometimes, that part is my butthole
January 17, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Part of me wants to open up sometimes, that part is my butthole
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
There’s some wet dude or other wandering around here
January 16, 2026 at 11:00 PM
There’s some wet dude or other wandering around here
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
i think it would be sad when rutger hauer dies in blade runner even if he hadn't seen cool stuff
April 20, 2024 at 10:08 AM
i think it would be sad when rutger hauer dies in blade runner even if he hadn't seen cool stuff
my question is what does your hatred of the shoulder pads in my power suit say about you??
January 16, 2026 at 9:58 PM
my question is what does your hatred of the shoulder pads in my power suit say about you??
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Looks like the weatherman lied. He IS sleeping with my girlfriend.
January 15, 2026 at 3:09 AM
Looks like the weatherman lied. He IS sleeping with my girlfriend.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
What did I learn on the first day of my New Year fitness program... I'm not very flexible, but I'm pretty good at farting doing sit-ups.
January 7, 2026 at 2:23 PM
What did I learn on the first day of my New Year fitness program... I'm not very flexible, but I'm pretty good at farting doing sit-ups.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
I'm at the age where I sometimes can't figure out if someone is a smoker or their face is just falling off
January 7, 2026 at 3:00 AM
I'm at the age where I sometimes can't figure out if someone is a smoker or their face is just falling off
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
growing barnacles on my buttocks so you’ll have a healthy snack when you’re all done back there
January 7, 2026 at 1:27 AM
growing barnacles on my buttocks so you’ll have a healthy snack when you’re all done back there
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
them: pick your poison
me: a big butt and a smile
me: a big butt and a smile
January 6, 2026 at 1:45 AM
them: pick your poison
me: a big butt and a smile
me: a big butt and a smile
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
First thing I'm gonna do if I win the lottery is lock myself in the bathroom. Second thing? You guessed it, locksmith.
January 5, 2026 at 12:32 AM
First thing I'm gonna do if I win the lottery is lock myself in the bathroom. Second thing? You guessed it, locksmith.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
You smell like an old wet umbrella and your head is shaped like one too.
January 6, 2026 at 4:45 PM
You smell like an old wet umbrella and your head is shaped like one too.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
My favorite part of winter is waking up to my tongue feeling like a bit of old shoe leather in my mouth
January 7, 2026 at 5:42 PM
My favorite part of winter is waking up to my tongue feeling like a bit of old shoe leather in my mouth
made a music video that the studio says would beat out thriller if only I’d agree to cut the defecation sequence
January 3, 2026 at 10:11 PM
made a music video that the studio says would beat out thriller if only I’d agree to cut the defecation sequence
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
me: *cleaning up after opening presents* whose front teeth are these
December 25, 2024 at 7:13 PM
me: *cleaning up after opening presents* whose front teeth are these
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
If you can buy your detachable penis back for $17 that's actually a pretty good value
December 27, 2025 at 2:47 AM
If you can buy your detachable penis back for $17 that's actually a pretty good value
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
They say revenge is a dish best served up cold, and they say revenge is sweet. So basically, revenge is ice cream.
December 28, 2025 at 6:03 PM
They say revenge is a dish best served up cold, and they say revenge is sweet. So basically, revenge is ice cream.