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@crisiscake.bsky.social
· Apr 9
so when i chew carrots & celery it's good for teeth but when I chew ice & sticks it's bad? grow up
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[dr frankenstein weighing dongs in both hands to see which one feels heftier]
November 29, 2025 at 2:42 AM
[dr frankenstein weighing dongs in both hands to see which one feels heftier]
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always love putting on my going to bed jeans
November 29, 2025 at 2:45 AM
always love putting on my going to bed jeans
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So much about this sign I saw today I am still thinking about
November 29, 2025 at 2:55 AM
So much about this sign I saw today I am still thinking about
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Socialist Party of America's platform in 1912 called for abolition of pardon power altogether.
November 29, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Socialist Party of America's platform in 1912 called for abolition of pardon power altogether.
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You have to love yourself even though you think you suck
November 28, 2025 at 5:49 AM
You have to love yourself even though you think you suck
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Reposted by Groceries
I’ve stopped wasting money on diet plans. From now on, I’m just feeding everyone else pastries until I’m the thin one.
November 27, 2025 at 12:47 PM
I’ve stopped wasting money on diet plans. From now on, I’m just feeding everyone else pastries until I’m the thin one.
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Sometimes I’ll meet someone and just know they drank milk with dinner when they were a kid
November 28, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Sometimes I’ll meet someone and just know they drank milk with dinner when they were a kid
thanksgiving already? my work hasn't even taken down the christmas decorations they put up at halloween yet
November 28, 2025 at 3:03 AM
thanksgiving already? my work hasn't even taken down the christmas decorations they put up at halloween yet
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don’t forget, if someone tries to blindside you with a “hey could i ask you to carve the turkey” you can blindside them right back with a “no”
November 27, 2025 at 1:27 PM
don’t forget, if someone tries to blindside you with a “hey could i ask you to carve the turkey” you can blindside them right back with a “no”
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ARE YOU READY TO ROKERRRRR!?!
Time to mute me.
(kracks knuckles)
I'm goin' in.
Time to mute me.
(kracks knuckles)
I'm goin' in.
November 27, 2025 at 1:32 PM
ARE YOU READY TO ROKERRRRR!?!
Time to mute me.
(kracks knuckles)
I'm goin' in.
Time to mute me.
(kracks knuckles)
I'm goin' in.
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for a small fee i’ll facetime you tomorrow in front of your entire family and break up with you so they feel bad and let you have both turkey legs.
November 27, 2025 at 5:24 AM
for a small fee i’ll facetime you tomorrow in front of your entire family and break up with you so they feel bad and let you have both turkey legs.
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Anything you shouldn't do with a gremlin, I gotchu
November 27, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Anything you shouldn't do with a gremlin, I gotchu
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the grinch in the genre of romance: thread
November 27, 2025 at 2:59 AM
the grinch in the genre of romance: thread
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It's your time Murray
November 26, 2025 at 10:34 PM
It's your time Murray
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if you’re traveling today please do em a favor and air drop this photo to anyone in your vicinity who has an open phone. this includes airports, train stations, and even motor vehicular traffic
November 26, 2025 at 9:27 PM
if you’re traveling today please do em a favor and air drop this photo to anyone in your vicinity who has an open phone. this includes airports, train stations, and even motor vehicular traffic
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Nothing prepares you for finding out your new friend has other friends
November 26, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Nothing prepares you for finding out your new friend has other friends
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give me fuel
give me fire
give me an extinguisher, this immediately got out of hand
give me fire
give me an extinguisher, this immediately got out of hand
November 26, 2025 at 11:44 AM
give me fuel
give me fire
give me an extinguisher, this immediately got out of hand
give me fire
give me an extinguisher, this immediately got out of hand
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I think you can put any text on this image and I'll find it funny
November 26, 2025 at 1:46 PM
I think you can put any text on this image and I'll find it funny
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[argument at thanksgiving dinner]
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
November 26, 2025 at 2:04 PM
[argument at thanksgiving dinner]
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
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im just gonna start referring to myself as ‘new york times bestselling author rax king’ even though it isn’t true. what are they going to do about it, sue me? for all seventeen of the dollars in my savings account? go nuts bozos
November 26, 2025 at 3:33 PM
im just gonna start referring to myself as ‘new york times bestselling author rax king’ even though it isn’t true. what are they going to do about it, sue me? for all seventeen of the dollars in my savings account? go nuts bozos
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Reposted by Groceries
Cutting out the middleman by inventing a ceiling lightbulb cover that already comes with the dead bugs inside
November 26, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Cutting out the middleman by inventing a ceiling lightbulb cover that already comes with the dead bugs inside
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imagine what we could be doing if the federal government wasn't actively trying to throttle the growth of this industry
November 26, 2025 at 7:25 PM
imagine what we could be doing if the federal government wasn't actively trying to throttle the growth of this industry
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Is this platform still against stabbing people in the eyes or has it moved more towards acceptance?
November 26, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Is this platform still against stabbing people in the eyes or has it moved more towards acceptance?