If Mandy Patinkin Was a Horse
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stonecutter.bsky.social
If Mandy Patinkin Was a Horse
@stonecutter.bsky.social
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December 2, 2025 at 8:49 PM
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"911, what's your emergency?"
In an absolute diamond-cutter accent, just horrible stuff on every vowel: "They're throwin' hoagies at Patullo's home over in Moorestown!"

www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
Eagles OC's house gets egged after loss to Bears
The New Jersey home of Eagles offensive coordinator Kevin Patullo was vandalized with eggs early Saturday morning, following the team's loss to the Bears, police said.
www.espn.com
December 1, 2025 at 11:28 PM
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At first you're like, why does this have a wiki page

Then you find out it might be the best wiki page ever
November 28, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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“I was just following otters.”
really went dark for the sequel
November 28, 2025 at 9:09 PM
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Me seeing another CIA trained radical attack the united states: Well well well if it isn't the blowback brothers...
November 28, 2025 at 9:12 AM
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the idea that it would’ve taken some special insight to be suspicious of Nuzzi’s reporting is so funny
I was right
November 27, 2025 at 1:47 AM
DENTAL PLAN
November 27, 2025 at 1:37 AM
This is an all-timer
It's not often I see a real estate listing that makes me involuntarily say "I would ruin my life to live here" out loud. Tastefully(?) coked up penthouse in an extremely jazz age apartment tower www.zillow.com/homedetails/...
November 25, 2025 at 4:47 AM
😃😃😃I have a corner case that is not covered by the phone tree or any of the six things the representative is trained on 😃😃😃
November 24, 2025 at 3:48 PM
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November 22, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Oh come the fuck on LBJ absolutely would have
November 22, 2025 at 12:14 AM
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Walking around with a weighted blanket draped over my shoulders, as my new character “Anxiety James Brown”
March 30, 2024 at 3:46 PM
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They’re saying from each according to his ability — and I have the best ability, a soldier came up to me and told me, tears in his eyes, she said “you saved America, sir,” she said, cold day, she had these rosy cheeks, unlike Rosie O’Donnell, no ability — to each, to each according to his needs.
November 21, 2025 at 9:12 PM
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I’m tearing up a little. Recognition from someone as amazing as Dan feels good.

Also, BE PART OF THE MOVEMENT! Come to my whistle kit assembly event tonight at Nighthawk (4744 N Kimball), 5:30-8 pm!
Shoutouts within to @marc-fischer.bsky.social who was the first person I saw distroing whistles and inspired me, to @bibliogrrl.bsky.social who has been 3D printing like a madwoman, and @lefttheprairie.bsky.social who has been responsible for literally tens of thousands of whistles getting out.
November 21, 2025 at 9:50 PM
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DONALD TRUMP FIVE MINUTES AFTER MEETING ME: And, you know, the Game Awards, they gave Best Music to God of War instead of Xenoblade 3, and it was very unfair
November 21, 2025 at 9:20 PM
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"Proletariat." The first time I heard that I said wow, what a beautiful word. And you're going to be seeing class solidarity that's stronger, probably, than ever before
November 21, 2025 at 10:01 PM
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TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that?

We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
November 21, 2025 at 9:25 PM
It is unfair, on like a cosmic level, that the funniest man alive is also the most evil man alive. Truly.
Q: Are you affirming that you think President Trump is a fascist?

MAMDANI: I've spoken about--

TRUMP: That's okay. You can just say yes. I don't mind.
November 21, 2025 at 10:11 PM
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TRUMP: and this Daniel, he went into the den?

MAMDANI: The lion's den, yes

TRUMP: surely they ate him

MAMDANI: Here's the part where it gets a little Broadway: they didn't

TRUMP: Unbelievable
November 21, 2025 at 9:41 PM
I love how this implies the small business owners who advertise on Ben Shapiro are “using ideology” to sell as opposed to just being ideologically aligned with right wing media.
NEW: For months, my colleagues and I dug into YouTube's conservative airwaves and found a flourishing network of host-read ads on right-leaning podcasts. This phenomenon has enriched hosts, YouTube, and businesses that use ideology to sell. bloom.bg/3Kaio9w
November 20, 2025 at 8:45 PM
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Me: Obviously Lois Lane would be Miss Piggy in Muppet Superman. Kermit should be Clark Kent but *NOT* Superman. Superman is Henry Cavill and looking like a frog is just him acting meek

Fellow Bunker Resident: (glances at screen counting down “Safe Surface Radiation Level 37.6 years”) Ugh
December 21, 2024 at 5:32 PM
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:

1. We’re in a submarine!
2. Family gathering for a holiday or wedding or funeral, hijinks ensue
3. Look how stupid these cops are
4. Industry is evil
5. Rich people get what’s coming to them
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:

1. Saving the Community Center via breakdancing
2. Washed up baseball player LOVES him some pussy
3. Road House
4. People getting hornt about car crashes
5. Herzog
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:
- misunderstood hermit who hates everyone saves everyone
- rampaging psychopath gets their comeuppance
- person puts themselves in danger to uncover a dark secret then regrets uncovering dark secret
- sassy vigilantes fuck shit up
- dogs as sidekicks
November 19, 2025 at 4:04 AM
At the end of the day they’re all afflicted with small business owner brain
There's this underlying petulant rage to them when they feel their authority is challenged. The specifics don't even matter, it's just spoiled whiny incredulity that -the peasants- dare to question them in the first place.
November 18, 2025 at 10:02 PM
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If I can give 3 pieces of unsolicited advice to people facing ICE/CBP:
1) go outside
2) meet your neighbors
3) be loud

They want you to be isolated and afraid so they can work in secret, control the narrative, and act with impunity. They lose power when we see what’s happening and to whom.
November 18, 2025 at 7:57 PM
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SHOW ME MORE EXCERPTS FROM THAT STUPID BOOK I FUCKING DARE YOU
November 18, 2025 at 2:25 PM