BEEJ
@beeeej91.bsky.social
ncfc. music. media. history. exploring this planet.
Reposted by BEEJ
Yes, I know, o.
But that's not the joke here.
But that's not the joke here.
November 12, 2025 at 10:10 AM
Yes, I know, o.
But that's not the joke here.
But that's not the joke here.
Reposted by BEEJ
The chicken and egg scenario but it's shits and giggles
October 25, 2025 at 12:01 PM
The chicken and egg scenario but it's shits and giggles
Reposted by BEEJ
The dentist asks if I floss and I ask if he prays. Neither of us answers.
October 25, 2025 at 11:42 AM
The dentist asks if I floss and I ask if he prays. Neither of us answers.
Reposted by BEEJ
The whole essay genre of "I had an interesting conversation with a chatbot" should be consigned to the dustbin of people's trying to tell you about their acid trips
September 27, 2025 at 5:26 PM
The whole essay genre of "I had an interesting conversation with a chatbot" should be consigned to the dustbin of people's trying to tell you about their acid trips
Reposted by BEEJ
the knowledge that scott mctominay’s name scans perfectly to the duel of the fates is a terrible curse
July 2, 2025 at 6:26 PM
the knowledge that scott mctominay’s name scans perfectly to the duel of the fates is a terrible curse
Reposted by BEEJ
guys! I have huge news!
as of this week I now have a monthly sports column (!) in the new Observer
first piece will be in the paper on Sunday but it's already online: observer.co.uk/news/columni... [free to read!]
as of this week I now have a monthly sports column (!) in the new Observer
first piece will be in the paper on Sunday but it's already online: observer.co.uk/news/columni... [free to read!]
May 2, 2025 at 9:15 AM
guys! I have huge news!
as of this week I now have a monthly sports column (!) in the new Observer
first piece will be in the paper on Sunday but it's already online: observer.co.uk/news/columni... [free to read!]
as of this week I now have a monthly sports column (!) in the new Observer
first piece will be in the paper on Sunday but it's already online: observer.co.uk/news/columni... [free to read!]
Reposted by BEEJ
democrats won’t admit it, but my family’s economic outlook has gotten a LOT better since Trump took office. but what do i know? i don’t have a fancy economics degree, i’m just a regular guy who runs an airplane scrapyard
February 18, 2025 at 12:23 AM
democrats won’t admit it, but my family’s economic outlook has gotten a LOT better since Trump took office. but what do i know? i don’t have a fancy economics degree, i’m just a regular guy who runs an airplane scrapyard
Reposted by BEEJ
911: what is your emergency
TREE: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hello?
TREE: hello yes help i’ve-
911: is anyone there
TREE: YES HELP I’VE FALLEN AND-
911: sorry but i don’t hear anything
TREE: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hello?
TREE: hello yes help i’ve-
911: is anyone there
TREE: YES HELP I’VE FALLEN AND-
911: sorry but i don’t hear anything
February 12, 2025 at 4:17 AM
911: what is your emergency
TREE: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hello?
TREE: hello yes help i’ve-
911: is anyone there
TREE: YES HELP I’VE FALLEN AND-
911: sorry but i don’t hear anything
TREE: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hello?
TREE: hello yes help i’ve-
911: is anyone there
TREE: YES HELP I’VE FALLEN AND-
911: sorry but i don’t hear anything
Reposted by BEEJ
THEM: Let me take you down to Paradise City. I heard the girls are hot.
ME: What's the grass situation?
ME: What's the grass situation?
January 29, 2025 at 3:47 PM
THEM: Let me take you down to Paradise City. I heard the girls are hot.
ME: What's the grass situation?
ME: What's the grass situation?
Reposted by BEEJ
SEAN EVANS: so tell us about this exciting new project of yours
KARL MARX, SWEATING: well sean i have to say im just really stoked to share this essay that i think makes a strong case for my claims about historical materialism and—WHEW that’s spicy oh man how do you guys EAT this stuff haha—
KARL MARX, SWEATING: well sean i have to say im just really stoked to share this essay that i think makes a strong case for my claims about historical materialism and—WHEW that’s spicy oh man how do you guys EAT this stuff haha—
January 27, 2025 at 8:09 PM
SEAN EVANS: so tell us about this exciting new project of yours
KARL MARX, SWEATING: well sean i have to say im just really stoked to share this essay that i think makes a strong case for my claims about historical materialism and—WHEW that’s spicy oh man how do you guys EAT this stuff haha—
KARL MARX, SWEATING: well sean i have to say im just really stoked to share this essay that i think makes a strong case for my claims about historical materialism and—WHEW that’s spicy oh man how do you guys EAT this stuff haha—
Reposted by BEEJ
ANCIENT ROMAN: *looking at shirts labeled M L and XL* excuse me these sizes are backwards
January 18, 2025 at 7:24 PM
ANCIENT ROMAN: *looking at shirts labeled M L and XL* excuse me these sizes are backwards
Reposted by BEEJ
January 10, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Reposted by BEEJ
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The other guard likes big butts but cannot tell the truth. You are allowed to ask one question.
The other guard likes big butts but cannot tell the truth. You are allowed to ask one question.
January 5, 2025 at 7:36 PM
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The other guard likes big butts but cannot tell the truth. You are allowed to ask one question.
The other guard likes big butts but cannot tell the truth. You are allowed to ask one question.
Reposted by BEEJ
An anonymous spokesperson for Team Rocket has claimed responsibility for yesterday’s gas attack in the Saffron City subway that claimed 78 lives. The statement, released this morning, states the attack was meant to “wake the region from its decadent slumber,” adding “Meowth, that’s right!”
January 5, 2025 at 12:53 AM
An anonymous spokesperson for Team Rocket has claimed responsibility for yesterday’s gas attack in the Saffron City subway that claimed 78 lives. The statement, released this morning, states the attack was meant to “wake the region from its decadent slumber,” adding “Meowth, that’s right!”
Reposted by BEEJ
To the tune of "Hey, Jude"—
The boys
Are back in town
The boys
Are back in town
December 28, 2024 at 4:53 PM
To the tune of "Hey, Jude"—
The boys
Are back in town
The boys
Are back in town
Reposted by BEEJ
[running into my ex]
ex: omg it’s you
me: yeah
ex: we should exchange numbers
me: i don’t think that’s a good idea
ex: you backed into my car though
me: look we’ve both moved on
ex: omg it’s you
me: yeah
ex: we should exchange numbers
me: i don’t think that’s a good idea
ex: you backed into my car though
me: look we’ve both moved on
December 27, 2024 at 11:03 PM
[running into my ex]
ex: omg it’s you
me: yeah
ex: we should exchange numbers
me: i don’t think that’s a good idea
ex: you backed into my car though
me: look we’ve both moved on
ex: omg it’s you
me: yeah
ex: we should exchange numbers
me: i don’t think that’s a good idea
ex: you backed into my car though
me: look we’ve both moved on
Reposted by BEEJ
When I said I would do anything for my family and my country I only meant stuff I already like doing, like shooting guns for instance. If I have to do something annoying like conserve resources then obviously I'm not willing to do that
December 27, 2024 at 5:21 PM
When I said I would do anything for my family and my country I only meant stuff I already like doing, like shooting guns for instance. If I have to do something annoying like conserve resources then obviously I'm not willing to do that
Reposted by BEEJ
"The funny thing is I don't even like chocolate. Or Phil Collins."
December 28, 2024 at 12:09 PM
"The funny thing is I don't even like chocolate. Or Phil Collins."
Reposted by BEEJ
Says much about the London housing market that the “£1 million home” is a pebbledash semi-detached in North Acton
December 15, 2024 at 10:55 PM
Says much about the London housing market that the “£1 million home” is a pebbledash semi-detached in North Acton
Reposted by BEEJ
[argument at thanksgiving dinner]
wife: don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not *sliding potatoes into pocket* they’re too busy yelling to notice
wife: don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not *sliding potatoes into pocket* they’re too busy yelling to notice
November 27, 2024 at 2:10 PM
[argument at thanksgiving dinner]
wife: don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not *sliding potatoes into pocket* they’re too busy yelling to notice
wife: don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not *sliding potatoes into pocket* they’re too busy yelling to notice
Reposted by BEEJ
I. JUST. WANT. THE. RECIPE. I. DON'T. WANT. FOUR. PAGES. OF. STORY. ABOUT. HOW. THIS. WAS. YOUR. AUNT. LINDA'S. FAVORITE. DISH. ON. WINTER. ESCAPES. TO. THE. MOUNTAINS.
November 27, 2024 at 4:08 PM
I. JUST. WANT. THE. RECIPE. I. DON'T. WANT. FOUR. PAGES. OF. STORY. ABOUT. HOW. THIS. WAS. YOUR. AUNT. LINDA'S. FAVORITE. DISH. ON. WINTER. ESCAPES. TO. THE. MOUNTAINS.
Reposted by BEEJ
imagine when the stars that make orion’s belt die and his pants fall down
November 26, 2024 at 5:09 PM
imagine when the stars that make orion’s belt die and his pants fall down
Reposted by BEEJ
[sign in the Terminator's kitchen]
come with me if you want to live, laugh, love
come with me if you want to live, laugh, love
November 26, 2024 at 5:47 AM
[sign in the Terminator's kitchen]
come with me if you want to live, laugh, love
come with me if you want to live, laugh, love
Reposted by BEEJ
inventor of the sword: [watching a sword swallowing contest] oh no. no no no
November 22, 2024 at 11:49 PM
inventor of the sword: [watching a sword swallowing contest] oh no. no no no