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dbex.bsky.social
dbex
@dbex.bsky.social
Not a llama
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The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)
December 9, 2025 at 2:27 AM
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Kathryn Bigelow's "Zero Grinch Thirty" was made with the cooperation and participation of the actual Pentagon operators and CIA clandestine officers who located and put a permanent end to America's most wanted target.
December 8, 2025 at 5:58 PM
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really went dark for the sequel
November 28, 2025 at 5:41 PM
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Cauliflower is just racist broccoli.
November 28, 2025 at 8:53 AM
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I’ve never paid for sex.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
November 26, 2025 at 9:15 PM
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hoping that grandma does not bring her "Pineapple Surprise" again tomorrow because it is actually a live grenade
November 26, 2025 at 8:32 PM
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[willow naming committee]

BOSS: ok, what do we have so far?

PERSON ON THE COMMITTEE: *having a bad day* I call this one a weeping willow, this one is a pussy willow…THIS ONE HERE IS A STUPID ASS BITCH WILLOW…

BOSS: Johnson, can I see you in my office..
November 18, 2025 at 4:10 PM
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Last night, I was bitten by a radioactive lawyer and woke up with power of attorney.
November 18, 2025 at 2:19 PM
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Im a fraud. I eat trail mix but never go on a trail. I drink Gatorade but no part of me is gator. I buy kind bars and throw them at people
November 13, 2025 at 1:55 AM
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[spelling bee]

Your word is 'bananas'

Gwen Stefani: *whispering to herself* c'mon Gwen, you know this
September 22, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:

Scott Staph
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:

Honk Williams
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:

Luther Vangross
November 14, 2025 at 7:55 PM
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uncanny
November 9, 2025 at 8:08 PM
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In a truly historic moment, NYC has just appointed her first ever mayor who knows what Skibidi is
November 5, 2025 at 9:20 AM
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"Hush, Horatio. Did you not hear the Dark Lord's call? Go now and summon the others, for it is the time of The Reaping. Soon we shall be bathing in the blood of our enemies."

"I don't know, Max. I'm pretty sure that was just a can opener."
November 4, 2025 at 5:14 PM
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Me with doomscrolling
“We must stop eating!” cried Toad as he ate another.
October 29, 2025 at 11:07 AM
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The premise of The Exorcist is truly terrifying. Imagine having a 12-year-old daughter.
October 29, 2025 at 12:05 AM
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[Playing "Black Hole Sun" near Neil Degrasse Tyson just to make him mad]
October 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
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caught my vampire neighbor creeping through my front door. he claims my saying “for sure dude, we should definitely hang out sometime” the other night counts as an invitation, but I disagree. we’re on hold with the etiquette hotline
October 13, 2025 at 3:18 AM
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they should add a new M&M character who's bad at reading social cues and makes the other M&Ms a little uncomfortable to be around
October 12, 2025 at 11:28 PM
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Do I Look Fat?

- a murder mystery
September 21, 2025 at 1:28 PM
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[showing a picture of a man with nice hair to my barber] I want you to kill this fucker
March 18, 2025 at 6:00 PM
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U.S. Deploys Socially Awkward Men Along Border To Deter Migrants
September 12, 2025 at 5:01 PM
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I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The films in which I’m dying
Are the ones that have Josh Gad
September 9, 2025 at 11:08 PM