@metalflux.bsky.social
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Ask not what your country can do for you.
Ask what your country can do to you.
Ask what your country can do to you.
January 19, 2026 at 1:56 AM
Ask not what your country can do for you.
Ask what your country can do to you.
Ask what your country can do to you.
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in an alternate universe the dog is hiding 𝙢𝙮 pills in cheese
January 19, 2026 at 1:25 PM
in an alternate universe the dog is hiding 𝙢𝙮 pills in cheese
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I was very disappointed to find out fantasy football had nothing to do with elves or dwarves
January 18, 2026 at 9:59 PM
I was very disappointed to find out fantasy football had nothing to do with elves or dwarves
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innocent men.
innocent men.
we're just innocent men.
innocent men.
we're just innocent men.
July 7, 2025 at 11:33 PM
innocent men.
innocent men.
we're just innocent men.
innocent men.
we're just innocent men.
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just a girl playing with her Dalí
January 19, 2026 at 8:15 PM
just a girl playing with her Dalí
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I used to mix metaphors but that ship has flown.
February 13, 2025 at 6:01 PM
I used to mix metaphors but that ship has flown.
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You asked me to fix it, so I tried, and now it’s broken beyond repair. I hope you learned a lesson here.
January 17, 2026 at 4:19 PM
You asked me to fix it, so I tried, and now it’s broken beyond repair. I hope you learned a lesson here.
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Jump up, jump up, & get down?
Not with my knees & back
Not with my knees & back
January 14, 2026 at 11:33 PM
Jump up, jump up, & get down?
Not with my knees & back
Not with my knees & back
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My friend's Dad doesn't know who Cookie Monster is and referred to him as COLD ELMO.
January 15, 2026 at 6:55 PM
My friend's Dad doesn't know who Cookie Monster is and referred to him as COLD ELMO.
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Dropkick Murphys are releasing a new song called "Citizen I.C.E."
The lyrics go: "Too scared to join the military/ Too dumb to be a cop."
consequence.net/2026/01/drop...
The lyrics go: "Too scared to join the military/ Too dumb to be a cop."
consequence.net/2026/01/drop...
Dropkick Murphys' Unveil Anti-ICE Song: "Too Scared to Join the Military, Too Dumb to Be a Cop"
Dropkick Murphys are releasing an anti-I.C.E. song, "Citizen I.C.E.," as part of their tour-only split LP with Haywire. Learn more.
consequence.net
January 15, 2026 at 6:39 PM
Dropkick Murphys are releasing a new song called "Citizen I.C.E."
The lyrics go: "Too scared to join the military/ Too dumb to be a cop."
consequence.net/2026/01/drop...
The lyrics go: "Too scared to join the military/ Too dumb to be a cop."
consequence.net/2026/01/drop...
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If you fold a large pizza in half, it becomes a sandwich. Nobody should ever feel shame for eating a sandwich.
January 8, 2026 at 4:21 PM
If you fold a large pizza in half, it becomes a sandwich. Nobody should ever feel shame for eating a sandwich.
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“Your skin is glowing!”
Thanks, it’s anxiety sweat.
Thanks, it’s anxiety sweat.
January 5, 2026 at 11:17 PM
“Your skin is glowing!”
Thanks, it’s anxiety sweat.
Thanks, it’s anxiety sweat.
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Not to brag but I can now carry $250 worth of groceries into the house with one hand.
January 10, 2026 at 8:10 PM
Not to brag but I can now carry $250 worth of groceries into the house with one hand.
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bluesky is all about saying something insane into the void and hearing 2-3 people go “yeah!” in the distance
January 13, 2026 at 5:51 PM
bluesky is all about saying something insane into the void and hearing 2-3 people go “yeah!” in the distance
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I was so hungover I accidentally watched 4 videos on LinkedIn.
January 11, 2026 at 2:32 PM
I was so hungover I accidentally watched 4 videos on LinkedIn.
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I wish I could monetize my ability to project a fantasy onto a highly incompatible person
January 12, 2026 at 1:39 PM
I wish I could monetize my ability to project a fantasy onto a highly incompatible person
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Happy Monday fellow men I hope this isn’t the day your wife finally decides that all of our bullshit just isn’t worth it any more
January 12, 2026 at 3:26 PM
Happy Monday fellow men I hope this isn’t the day your wife finally decides that all of our bullshit just isn’t worth it any more
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Just divide by zero who gives a shit anymore
January 12, 2026 at 7:34 PM
Just divide by zero who gives a shit anymore
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“Ah good, you’re awake. Please don’t bother trying to move. Now, I just have a couple of questions for you. If you answer truthfully, this can all be over quickly, but if I think you’re lying, I will introduce you to my friend Klaus over there, and trust me, you don’t want that.”
January 10, 2026 at 2:34 PM
“Ah good, you’re awake. Please don’t bother trying to move. Now, I just have a couple of questions for you. If you answer truthfully, this can all be over quickly, but if I think you’re lying, I will introduce you to my friend Klaus over there, and trust me, you don’t want that.”
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It should cost money to send people videos that are longer than 30 seconds
January 9, 2026 at 4:51 PM
It should cost money to send people videos that are longer than 30 seconds
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My body is a temple.
My mind is a comedy club.
My apartment is a landfill.
My car is a festive warning light Christmas village.
I could do this all day.
My mind is a comedy club.
My apartment is a landfill.
My car is a festive warning light Christmas village.
I could do this all day.
January 8, 2026 at 7:04 PM
My body is a temple.
My mind is a comedy club.
My apartment is a landfill.
My car is a festive warning light Christmas village.
I could do this all day.
My mind is a comedy club.
My apartment is a landfill.
My car is a festive warning light Christmas village.
I could do this all day.
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i love to come on here and be stupid and make lame jokes about how much i want to eat but the news is making it almost impossible. trying to just be an idiot when our govt is murdering people on the streets in cold blood. i am at a loss
January 7, 2026 at 7:31 PM
i love to come on here and be stupid and make lame jokes about how much i want to eat but the news is making it almost impossible. trying to just be an idiot when our govt is murdering people on the streets in cold blood. i am at a loss
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If you're still on X, you don't really get to complain about how you can't leave because everyone else is still on X.
It's like people in traffic, complaining about traffic. You're the traffic.
It's like people in traffic, complaining about traffic. You're the traffic.
January 2, 2026 at 8:01 PM
If you're still on X, you don't really get to complain about how you can't leave because everyone else is still on X.
It's like people in traffic, complaining about traffic. You're the traffic.
It's like people in traffic, complaining about traffic. You're the traffic.
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David Attenborough [whispering]:
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
December 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
David Attenborough [whispering]:
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”