Optimist Primus
@optimistprimus.bsky.social
I deleted my account years ago, but some people claim they still see my posts
Don't read these after midnight:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagbiuaqzqpg
Don't read these after midnight:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagbiuaqzqpg
Pinned
Life is beauty wrapped in a nightmare. And I'm just chipping away at the shell, looking for that creamy center.
Reposted by Optimist Primus
(guy whose never played baseball before) and you promise that this doesn't hurt the ball?
November 25, 2025 at 6:03 PM
(guy whose never played baseball before) and you promise that this doesn't hurt the ball?
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Poster's Madness Advent Calendar
November 24, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Poster's Madness Advent Calendar
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my problem with gyoza is that they normally come in an order of about 6, but what I really need is 100 of them
November 24, 2025 at 5:22 PM
my problem with gyoza is that they normally come in an order of about 6, but what I really need is 100 of them
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it’s a new day duckling
July 5, 2024 at 10:00 AM
it’s a new day duckling
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they should make cigarettes that are good for you
November 24, 2025 at 1:50 AM
they should make cigarettes that are good for you
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ODIN SKYLINE CLEANSE 🐕🖤
November 23, 2025 at 4:06 PM
ODIN SKYLINE CLEANSE 🐕🖤
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could you pls hold this for a me *hands you some wasps*
November 23, 2025 at 7:32 PM
could you pls hold this for a me *hands you some wasps*
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it’s cool that one day i will die and everything will keep going without me
November 20, 2025 at 10:04 PM
it’s cool that one day i will die and everything will keep going without me
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i don’t get enough credit for being one of the greatest minds of our time
November 21, 2025 at 4:56 PM
i don’t get enough credit for being one of the greatest minds of our time
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This is for all of you: You are loved and please don't wonder about it because we love you.
You are loved.
You're loved.
You are loved.
You're loved.
November 22, 2025 at 1:44 AM
This is for all of you: You are loved and please don't wonder about it because we love you.
You are loved.
You're loved.
You are loved.
You're loved.
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might fuck around and fall through the cracks of society
November 22, 2025 at 12:42 AM
might fuck around and fall through the cracks of society
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I heard someone from my high school became a god and kissed the sun
November 21, 2025 at 10:05 PM
I heard someone from my high school became a god and kissed the sun
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Seems like more of an existential crisis kind of sitch…
June 11, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Seems like more of an existential crisis kind of sitch…
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*shrugs* could be worse. Your toothbrush could grow hands while you're brushing and grab onto your lips
March 15, 2024 at 11:04 AM
*shrugs* could be worse. Your toothbrush could grow hands while you're brushing and grab onto your lips
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Hapless rube in commercial for AI: Gemini, what does the recipe mean by, “finish by broiling on top rack for 4 minutes”? 😩
Gemini: Amazing job on the cooking! It can be scary. First of all, an oven is like an epic car without wheels that gets hot
Gemini: Amazing job on the cooking! It can be scary. First of all, an oven is like an epic car without wheels that gets hot
November 20, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Hapless rube in commercial for AI: Gemini, what does the recipe mean by, “finish by broiling on top rack for 4 minutes”? 😩
Gemini: Amazing job on the cooking! It can be scary. First of all, an oven is like an epic car without wheels that gets hot
Gemini: Amazing job on the cooking! It can be scary. First of all, an oven is like an epic car without wheels that gets hot
Reposted by Optimist Primus
Let’s be delirious.
November 20, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Let’s be delirious.
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We light ourselves afire.
November 20, 2025 at 5:24 AM
We light ourselves afire.
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Pardon me while I slip into something a little more comfortable, (an alternate timeline)
November 20, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Pardon me while I slip into something a little more comfortable, (an alternate timeline)
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(Sylvester the Cat voice) Thhhovereign Thhitizen!
November 20, 2025 at 1:01 AM
(Sylvester the Cat voice) Thhhovereign Thhitizen!
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Not dead, but haunted by a ghost who is also me.
November 19, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Not dead, but haunted by a ghost who is also me.
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The Ocean: I've just graduated with honors from the University of Being The Ocean
me: congratuloceans!
The Ocean: Thank you.
me: congratuloceans!
The Ocean: Thank you.
November 18, 2025 at 3:26 PM
The Ocean: I've just graduated with honors from the University of Being The Ocean
me: congratuloceans!
The Ocean: Thank you.
me: congratuloceans!
The Ocean: Thank you.
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May today not suck.
November 18, 2025 at 3:09 PM
May today not suck.
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first date idea: I eat a rotisserie chicken and you're in your home, eating your own rotisserie chicken
November 17, 2025 at 10:24 PM
first date idea: I eat a rotisserie chicken and you're in your home, eating your own rotisserie chicken
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The good news is the creatures in the walls heard your soliloquy and they’re planning something special for you
November 16, 2025 at 3:22 AM
The good news is the creatures in the walls heard your soliloquy and they’re planning something special for you
Reposted by Optimist Primus
sometimes i think people must not be on bsky bc i’m not getting many likes but then i reread my posts and am like oh yeah right
November 16, 2025 at 7:25 PM
sometimes i think people must not be on bsky bc i’m not getting many likes but then i reread my posts and am like oh yeah right