LionsTigersBearsOhMy
@seannelsonbc.bsky.social
Nelson BC based Métis author of soft-boiled mystery novel 'Stark Nakid'. Living the dream one existential crisis at a time. Noir shaken not stirred.
Reposted by LionsTigersBearsOhMy
how am I supposed to take a year seriously when it starts on a Thursday
January 2, 2026 at 2:19 AM
how am I supposed to take a year seriously when it starts on a Thursday
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Interviewer: how would your boss and coworkers describe you?
Me: cautiously
Me: cautiously
December 28, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Interviewer: how would your boss and coworkers describe you?
Me: cautiously
Me: cautiously
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The elves got up early. Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.
December 25, 2025 at 1:50 PM
The elves got up early. Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.
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Santa brought me enough coal to fuel the Titanic
December 25, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Santa brought me enough coal to fuel the Titanic
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Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House https://theonion.com/santa-tracker-shows-sleigh-stopped-for-40-minutes-outside-old-girlfriends-house/
December 25, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House https://theonion.com/santa-tracker-shows-sleigh-stopped-for-40-minutes-outside-old-girlfriends-house/
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I don't use marijuana recreationally I use it competitively
December 22, 2025 at 2:21 PM
I don't use marijuana recreationally I use it competitively
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I smoke weed on my porch to let the other weeds know what I’m capable of
December 21, 2025 at 9:41 PM
I smoke weed on my porch to let the other weeds know what I’m capable of
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nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel
December 21, 2025 at 5:28 AM
nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel
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Just googled the word consequences to make sure it’s still a thing
December 5, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Just googled the word consequences to make sure it’s still a thing
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you think the wise man who brought gold was all like "you brought myrrh? that makes no frankincense" and then they all hi-fived all the way to the manger? i do.
December 17, 2025 at 8:51 PM
you think the wise man who brought gold was all like "you brought myrrh? that makes no frankincense" and then they all hi-fived all the way to the manger? i do.
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I don’t trust people who aren’t always ready for bed.
December 17, 2025 at 9:38 PM
I don’t trust people who aren’t always ready for bed.
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Pour one out? In this economy?
December 17, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Pour one out? In this economy?
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The CPKC Holiday Train came through Nelson tonight and dammit, the Barenaked Ladies were good.
December 16, 2025 at 4:11 AM
The CPKC Holiday Train came through Nelson tonight and dammit, the Barenaked Ladies were good.
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We have an opening for "big cat trainer." Must be faster than our previous big cat trainer.
December 14, 2025 at 7:53 AM
We have an opening for "big cat trainer." Must be faster than our previous big cat trainer.
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i think australia probably has such strong gun laws because they started out as a penal colony whereas the us became one more gradually over time
December 15, 2025 at 3:00 PM
i think australia probably has such strong gun laws because they started out as a penal colony whereas the us became one more gradually over time
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Brazilian jiu-jitsu? Well, it's like regular jiu-jitsu but you try to rip all the hair off of your opponent's body.
December 15, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Brazilian jiu-jitsu? Well, it's like regular jiu-jitsu but you try to rip all the hair off of your opponent's body.
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My wife handed me a clean towel and asked me to “put it in its place.” So, I looked at it and said, “Don’t forget that you’re only a towel,” and I was reminded yet again of just how lucky this woman was to be married to me.
December 14, 2025 at 2:07 PM
My wife handed me a clean towel and asked me to “put it in its place.” So, I looked at it and said, “Don’t forget that you’re only a towel,” and I was reminded yet again of just how lucky this woman was to be married to me.
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If the Beatles had spelled their name the Beetles they would’ve had a better shot at success, lost opportunity imho
December 13, 2025 at 4:41 PM
If the Beatles had spelled their name the Beetles they would’ve had a better shot at success, lost opportunity imho
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My boss: please stop using air quotes every time you say work
December 13, 2025 at 12:57 AM
My boss: please stop using air quotes every time you say work
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Total weak sauce from Neil
December 11, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Total weak sauce from Neil
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I’ve worked in public libraries for 20 years, today was the first time we’ve had to tell someone they couldn’t bring their chainsaw in the library.
December 11, 2025 at 1:30 AM
I’ve worked in public libraries for 20 years, today was the first time we’ve had to tell someone they couldn’t bring their chainsaw in the library.
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I like to welcome the holiday season
by turning off the voicemail function on my phone
by turning off the voicemail function on my phone
December 9, 2025 at 12:46 PM
I like to welcome the holiday season
by turning off the voicemail function on my phone
by turning off the voicemail function on my phone
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Just once I’d like an athlete to say “hail Satan” at the beginning of a post game interview, is that too much to ask
December 9, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Just once I’d like an athlete to say “hail Satan” at the beginning of a post game interview, is that too much to ask
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I scare people away by asking them their longitude and latitude location
December 8, 2025 at 1:28 PM
I scare people away by asking them their longitude and latitude location
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The Bic corporation was started by one man who needed to shave, write something down, and set something on fire at the same time
December 6, 2025 at 11:12 PM
The Bic corporation was started by one man who needed to shave, write something down, and set something on fire at the same time