Slouchy
@slouchy.bsky.social
Like most kangaroos I live a life of crime.
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Slouchy
@slouchy.bsky.social
· Nov 23
You wake up one day and all the world has turned to Greg. You're surprised, you did not see this coming. In the kitchen your boyfriend Greg greets you with a cup of greg. Greg, he says with a smile. Greg, you answer, and it just feels right, the gregness of it all.
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*holds up finger dramatically
She was the first oceanic sorceress I ever came across, okay!
I think... ya might give me a little slack here, getting sucked into that kinda' whirlpool of love.
She was the first oceanic sorceress I ever came across, okay!
I think... ya might give me a little slack here, getting sucked into that kinda' whirlpool of love.
November 23, 2025 at 9:32 AM
*holds up finger dramatically
She was the first oceanic sorceress I ever came across, okay!
I think... ya might give me a little slack here, getting sucked into that kinda' whirlpool of love.
She was the first oceanic sorceress I ever came across, okay!
I think... ya might give me a little slack here, getting sucked into that kinda' whirlpool of love.
Reposted by Slouchy
Why don't I have a bluesky boyfriend? Everyone has a bluesky boyfriend. Is it because I have successfully grafted a shoe on to my face? Is that intimidating to men? Just call me ShoeFace, it's fine.
November 21, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Why don't I have a bluesky boyfriend? Everyone has a bluesky boyfriend. Is it because I have successfully grafted a shoe on to my face? Is that intimidating to men? Just call me ShoeFace, it's fine.
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AI peas 🫛! [Comic by Stephen Collins, apologies for no Alt Text.]
November 18, 2025 at 7:26 AM
AI peas 🫛! [Comic by Stephen Collins, apologies for no Alt Text.]
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How to save your marriage with cold Taco Bell and roughly $600,000.
November 12, 2025 at 6:23 PM
How to save your marriage with cold Taco Bell and roughly $600,000.
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I think some folks are way past the the skills of 3 Christmas ghosts. Let's just give Krampus a map of D.C. and call it a day.
November 16, 2025 at 9:12 AM
I think some folks are way past the the skills of 3 Christmas ghosts. Let's just give Krampus a map of D.C. and call it a day.
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Can someone take me in their cupped hands like a small frog and hide me in their pocket, please?
November 15, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Can someone take me in their cupped hands like a small frog and hide me in their pocket, please?
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Listen my punk, if we keep jumping up and down about love in skinny ties not mad at all, people will say we're power pop
November 14, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Listen my punk, if we keep jumping up and down about love in skinny ties not mad at all, people will say we're power pop
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"Your response to stimuli is stimuli to me" that's so seductive but I assure you I can silent disco without the cap guns
November 15, 2025 at 5:48 AM
"Your response to stimuli is stimuli to me" that's so seductive but I assure you I can silent disco without the cap guns
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Getting enrichment in my enclosure by making myself solve a sudoku before I can open the fridge
November 15, 2025 at 7:37 AM
Getting enrichment in my enclosure by making myself solve a sudoku before I can open the fridge
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Describing something as being on its last legs implies that legs are expendable and they are lost with age. I can only assume, therefore, that the phrase was coined by millipedes. Millipedes do not shed legs with age, but they could afford to lose a few. Imagine a 3 legged millipede...
November 14, 2025 at 9:40 AM
Describing something as being on its last legs implies that legs are expendable and they are lost with age. I can only assume, therefore, that the phrase was coined by millipedes. Millipedes do not shed legs with age, but they could afford to lose a few. Imagine a 3 legged millipede...
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we’re not laughing with you or at you we’re not laughing at all bc things are terrible rn just like your posts
November 11, 2025 at 8:13 PM
we’re not laughing with you or at you we’re not laughing at all bc things are terrible rn just like your posts
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a murderer pushes me from a moving train but i just happen to land on a horse being ridden by train robbers and they make me get back on the train and rob it with them but when i see the murderer, i treat him with respect and kindness while i rob him, showing him that i am the better person
November 11, 2025 at 6:25 PM
a murderer pushes me from a moving train but i just happen to land on a horse being ridden by train robbers and they make me get back on the train and rob it with them but when i see the murderer, i treat him with respect and kindness while i rob him, showing him that i am the better person
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Defibrillators have saved countless lives but the way I look at it is they have created many thousands of Frankensteins walking amongst us.
October 22, 2024 at 8:25 PM
Defibrillators have saved countless lives but the way I look at it is they have created many thousands of Frankensteins walking amongst us.
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Somewhere in the vast indifferenceness of dressing up words with little additions is a new kind of fix that hits hard, an end in progress. Like endeding. Startinged. It makes more sense if you're waiting for a book cover to make the first move
November 14, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Somewhere in the vast indifferenceness of dressing up words with little additions is a new kind of fix that hits hard, an end in progress. Like endeding. Startinged. It makes more sense if you're waiting for a book cover to make the first move
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Are you there, Margaret? It's me, god. WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?
November 14, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Are you there, Margaret? It's me, god. WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?
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If a person checks their watch while you’re talking, it’s probably because they’re timing you and this is a competition. Keep talking. It’s win-time baby. You got this.
June 12, 2023 at 11:52 PM
If a person checks their watch while you’re talking, it’s probably because they’re timing you and this is a competition. Keep talking. It’s win-time baby. You got this.
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Last night I dreamt my toenails were catalogued for the great World Toenail Compendium, which was an honour I wasn't expecting, in all honesty.
November 13, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Last night I dreamt my toenails were catalogued for the great World Toenail Compendium, which was an honour I wasn't expecting, in all honesty.
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We all have our crosses to bear. I am compelled to do kegels whenever I hear Tainted Love. We all have our crosses to bear.
November 12, 2025 at 3:32 PM
We all have our crosses to bear. I am compelled to do kegels whenever I hear Tainted Love. We all have our crosses to bear.
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When will scientists finally invent a large frog for the home
November 11, 2025 at 10:27 PM
When will scientists finally invent a large frog for the home
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There's a Swedish word 'panikgoogla' which describes the frantic way someone having an online argument will search for half-understood facts and throw them at their opponent.
November 13, 2025 at 11:10 AM
There's a Swedish word 'panikgoogla' which describes the frantic way someone having an online argument will search for half-understood facts and throw them at their opponent.
Every friend group has that one friend that's just a ghost that hasn't figured out they're dead yet. If you don't know who in your friend group is the ghost then I'm sorry buddy but I've got some bad news for you...
November 12, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Every friend group has that one friend that's just a ghost that hasn't figured out they're dead yet. If you don't know who in your friend group is the ghost then I'm sorry buddy but I've got some bad news for you...
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Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity meets an enchanted elks horn that a mysterious stranger in a cave traded me for an unspecified future favor
November 11, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity meets an enchanted elks horn that a mysterious stranger in a cave traded me for an unspecified future favor
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Sorry, I wasn't fully listening. The tiny whales that live in my stomach were singing again.
November 11, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Sorry, I wasn't fully listening. The tiny whales that live in my stomach were singing again.
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Can't wait to see what kind of extra unhealthy coping mechanisms I'll develop to make it through the holidays
November 11, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Can't wait to see what kind of extra unhealthy coping mechanisms I'll develop to make it through the holidays