Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
@theloniouscrunk.bsky.social
live every week like it's fat bear week
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
oh it's going to be a Recession recession
January 18, 2026 at 10:56 PM
oh it's going to be a Recession recession
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Johannes Gutenberg: I'm on some movable printed type shit
December 22, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Johannes Gutenberg: I'm on some movable printed type shit
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just got out of an uber. the driver was telling me how he has to work 16 hour days, seven days a week, at two different jobs to afford rent. he doesn't have healthcare and he worries about retirement. "i would feel a lot better if we owned greenland," he told me. then he cried.
January 17, 2026 at 8:33 PM
just got out of an uber. the driver was telling me how he has to work 16 hour days, seven days a week, at two different jobs to afford rent. he doesn't have healthcare and he worries about retirement. "i would feel a lot better if we owned greenland," he told me. then he cried.
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
Mr Toad: are you a little freak?
Me: hmm? No
Mr Toad: what about a sick puppy? you a sick puppy?
Me: no I don’t think so
Mr Toad: how about wild? Are you at least a little wild
Me: yeah. Yeah I guess sometimes I can be
Mr Toad, ruddy face flooding with relief: then do I have the ride for you
Me: hmm? No
Mr Toad: what about a sick puppy? you a sick puppy?
Me: no I don’t think so
Mr Toad: how about wild? Are you at least a little wild
Me: yeah. Yeah I guess sometimes I can be
Mr Toad, ruddy face flooding with relief: then do I have the ride for you
January 17, 2026 at 3:58 AM
Mr Toad: are you a little freak?
Me: hmm? No
Mr Toad: what about a sick puppy? you a sick puppy?
Me: no I don’t think so
Mr Toad: how about wild? Are you at least a little wild
Me: yeah. Yeah I guess sometimes I can be
Mr Toad, ruddy face flooding with relief: then do I have the ride for you
Me: hmm? No
Mr Toad: what about a sick puppy? you a sick puppy?
Me: no I don’t think so
Mr Toad: how about wild? Are you at least a little wild
Me: yeah. Yeah I guess sometimes I can be
Mr Toad, ruddy face flooding with relief: then do I have the ride for you
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
I wish the cops would quit coming to my house every day to tell me I'm a person of disinterest and laughing and running away
January 15, 2026 at 5:49 PM
I wish the cops would quit coming to my house every day to tell me I'm a person of disinterest and laughing and running away
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
i went to the self deprecating humour store and nobody knew me there
January 15, 2026 at 4:31 PM
i went to the self deprecating humour store and nobody knew me there
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it's joie de vivre not joie de steve
January 16, 2026 at 4:48 PM
it's joie de vivre not joie de steve
the number of times I have heard the fuckaas media report on Elon's mass twitter firings using some variation on "...but the site's still working, so..."
Been using X/Twitter for 11 years and have never gotten a connection time out like this before. Usually when the site has had issues in the past the UI froze or something like that (in my experience). Must be bad.
January 16, 2026 at 4:07 PM
the number of times I have heard the fuckaas media report on Elon's mass twitter firings using some variation on "...but the site's still working, so..."
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Toad sipped his tea. “Frog,” he asked, “are you making this up?”
“Maybe yes and maybe no,” said Frog.
“Maybe yes and maybe no,” said Frog.
January 12, 2026 at 3:56 AM
Toad sipped his tea. “Frog,” he asked, “are you making this up?”
“Maybe yes and maybe no,” said Frog.
“Maybe yes and maybe no,” said Frog.
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
gotta get this framed
January 16, 2026 at 2:43 AM
gotta get this framed
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Today was my 500th rodeo. I hurt myself terribly. It's dangerous at every experience level.
January 14, 2026 at 8:31 PM
Today was my 500th rodeo. I hurt myself terribly. It's dangerous at every experience level.
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The strongest caffeine I usually have is earl grey tea but I was just given something called a nitro cold brew. Not sure what’s in it, but the godhead speaks through me now, issuing forth demands and evocations alike in a voice that does not sound like mine own.
March 10, 2024 at 2:58 PM
The strongest caffeine I usually have is earl grey tea but I was just given something called a nitro cold brew. Not sure what’s in it, but the godhead speaks through me now, issuing forth demands and evocations alike in a voice that does not sound like mine own.
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
I enjoy traveling, but it's always nice to get home and poop in my own shower
January 11, 2026 at 6:22 PM
I enjoy traveling, but it's always nice to get home and poop in my own shower
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Pam Bondi is going to announce tomorrow that Jerome Powell tried to ram Donald Trump with his car
January 12, 2026 at 3:13 AM
Pam Bondi is going to announce tomorrow that Jerome Powell tried to ram Donald Trump with his car
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holdup a minute bro my shaders are caching
January 12, 2026 at 4:19 AM
holdup a minute bro my shaders are caching
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Everybody said year of the horse but so far this year has been ass
January 10, 2026 at 4:01 AM
Everybody said year of the horse but so far this year has been ass
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I shouldn't be surprised that Assadists have no idea how Funko Pop! Vinyl Retailers work, since Assadists don't work lol
January 10, 2026 at 4:45 AM
I shouldn't be surprised that Assadists have no idea how Funko Pop! Vinyl Retailers work, since Assadists don't work lol
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[most annoying voice imaginable, in no way resembling a kindly southern grandmother or whatever the intended effect is] Oh, my sweet summer child,
January 7, 2026 at 5:06 PM
[most annoying voice imaginable, in no way resembling a kindly southern grandmother or whatever the intended effect is] Oh, my sweet summer child,
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The Americans, bar none
Given that apparently the Stranger Things finale was meh (idk, didn't watch it, just the scuttlebutt) and we're not that far removed from the disastrous GOT finale that retroactively made everyone have never cared about the show:
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
January 7, 2026 at 3:37 PM
The Americans, bar none
we need to expand the tent to morons. dunderheads. simpleton rubes with wii sports guy hair
January 6, 2026 at 4:57 AM
we need to expand the tent to morons. dunderheads. simpleton rubes with wii sports guy hair
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now! quickly!!!! hit him with the emoluments clause
January 4, 2026 at 12:59 AM
now! quickly!!!! hit him with the emoluments clause
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sometimes I’ll make a joke to my wife and she’ll roll her eyes and ask if I’m “gonna post that one on bluesky.” I mean, yes, but her tone is very hurtful
January 2, 2026 at 3:00 AM
sometimes I’ll make a joke to my wife and she’ll roll her eyes and ask if I’m “gonna post that one on bluesky.” I mean, yes, but her tone is very hurtful
Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
the only "2fa" i wanna deal with is 2 fuckin' 'amburgers
December 30, 2025 at 2:42 PM
the only "2fa" i wanna deal with is 2 fuckin' 'amburgers
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Watched the first Gremlins movie and got to experience the Phoebe Cates chimney story in the broader context of the film and now believe more than ever that she deserved an Oscar for it
December 28, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Watched the first Gremlins movie and got to experience the Phoebe Cates chimney story in the broader context of the film and now believe more than ever that she deserved an Oscar for it