@williejacknelson.bsky.social
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dung beetle rolling up a perfectly round cigarette
July 7, 2025 at 6:10 PM
dung beetle rolling up a perfectly round cigarette
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Me: How many 33 oz jars of Nutella will it take to fill up my spa?
Spa Doctor®: Spas are for water only
Me: THEORETICALLY, how much?
Spa Doctor®: Spas are for water only
Me: THEORETICALLY, how much?
July 7, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Me: How many 33 oz jars of Nutella will it take to fill up my spa?
Spa Doctor®: Spas are for water only
Me: THEORETICALLY, how much?
Spa Doctor®: Spas are for water only
Me: THEORETICALLY, how much?
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I will become physically ill if I don't open every drawer in the exam room
July 7, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I will become physically ill if I don't open every drawer in the exam room
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a menage a trois but it’s you and me sharing notifications on a post of yours i reposted
July 7, 2025 at 6:35 PM
a menage a trois but it’s you and me sharing notifications on a post of yours i reposted
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Me: so, what did you find?
Private investigator [dropping folder on desk]: sorry bud, looks like she's been cheating on you
Me [flipping through]: these are... just photos of women's feet at the park?
Private investigator [quickly grabbing papers]: uhhh yeah, that was for, um, a different client
Private investigator [dropping folder on desk]: sorry bud, looks like she's been cheating on you
Me [flipping through]: these are... just photos of women's feet at the park?
Private investigator [quickly grabbing papers]: uhhh yeah, that was for, um, a different client
July 7, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Me: so, what did you find?
Private investigator [dropping folder on desk]: sorry bud, looks like she's been cheating on you
Me [flipping through]: these are... just photos of women's feet at the park?
Private investigator [quickly grabbing papers]: uhhh yeah, that was for, um, a different client
Private investigator [dropping folder on desk]: sorry bud, looks like she's been cheating on you
Me [flipping through]: these are... just photos of women's feet at the park?
Private investigator [quickly grabbing papers]: uhhh yeah, that was for, um, a different client
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chatgpt how write legalese outsmart monkey paw
June 27, 2025 at 2:59 AM
chatgpt how write legalese outsmart monkey paw
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[peering out the window as blood rains from the sky]
we needed this
we needed this
June 26, 2025 at 11:19 PM
[peering out the window as blood rains from the sky]
we needed this
we needed this
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I don't care what your race or your religion or your sexual orientation is, I regard you all with suspicion
June 26, 2025 at 7:49 PM
I don't care what your race or your religion or your sexual orientation is, I regard you all with suspicion
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*meeting a coworkers family* nice brood.... they seem really healthy
June 26, 2025 at 9:56 PM
*meeting a coworkers family* nice brood.... they seem really healthy
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the birders had to share one pair of binoculars so unfortunately not everyone got a tern
June 26, 2025 at 9:58 PM
the birders had to share one pair of binoculars so unfortunately not everyone got a tern
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*sets patio furniture on patio*
Spiders: i love this for us.
Spiders: i love this for us.
June 26, 2025 at 5:52 PM
*sets patio furniture on patio*
Spiders: i love this for us.
Spiders: i love this for us.
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Turning the music down while driving to better taste my cheeseburger
June 26, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Turning the music down while driving to better taste my cheeseburger
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Welcome to Bluesky, this is all you do now.
June 26, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Welcome to Bluesky, this is all you do now.
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landlord here. i regularly cook and eat my tenants. we’re allowed to do that
June 24, 2025 at 8:55 PM
landlord here. i regularly cook and eat my tenants. we’re allowed to do that
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The inverse to having something brush against your leg when you’re in the ocean is having some garbage juice drip on your bare foot when you’re taking out the trash
June 24, 2025 at 4:42 PM
The inverse to having something brush against your leg when you’re in the ocean is having some garbage juice drip on your bare foot when you’re taking out the trash
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two dragonfruit hard ciders and feeling very nonbinary
June 24, 2025 at 8:38 PM
two dragonfruit hard ciders and feeling very nonbinary
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being told by as a child that both jesus and santa were always watching me really prepared me for the surveillance state
June 24, 2025 at 1:37 PM
being told by as a child that both jesus and santa were always watching me really prepared me for the surveillance state
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Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art hotter than fuck
June 24, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art hotter than fuck
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I want these but for my enemies so they know I’m still holding a grudge.
June 23, 2025 at 9:59 PM
I want these but for my enemies so they know I’m still holding a grudge.
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I’m the dad who went out for cigarettes and came back with cigarettes
June 24, 2025 at 2:43 PM
I’m the dad who went out for cigarettes and came back with cigarettes
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Don't forget to spay or neuter your neighbors
June 24, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Don't forget to spay or neuter your neighbors
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*towering over you* are you obsessed with me or not
June 24, 2025 at 5:43 PM
*towering over you* are you obsessed with me or not
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the man in front of me in line at the grocery store did not appreciate me saying "feet for free?" while checking out his sandals
June 24, 2025 at 12:58 AM
the man in front of me in line at the grocery store did not appreciate me saying "feet for free?" while checking out his sandals
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QR code neck tat that goes to my linkedin
June 24, 2025 at 1:14 AM
QR code neck tat that goes to my linkedin