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jordan pumpkin spice [ham]

@nursemurderer.bsky.social

11K followers 640 following 5.8K posts

just your typical old fashioned, salt of the earth, red blooded, hard working, blue collar, queer lady. PFP me in pool BY @geraldinepiche.bsky.social 🆗 https://nursemurderer.com

nursemurderer.com

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · May 20

literally my current proof of life outside of my fckn job:

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 7h

today’s workout brought to you by: she called me this morning and gave my day a positive start tbh and then i kept chatting w besties 🥰, got this new hat from a fav brand and they sent extra swag w a thank you note for supporting them 5ever, am tryin to keep my head on and heart okay, song by willow

jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 10h

I had so many old tweets about wanting to be in a coma 🛌

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 12h

most of the time i’m just wishing I was asleep

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 2d

I’m gonna make my own Mastodon

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🎃return of the Obra Deeny🎃(they/them) @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 3d

This is me bravely coming out as french canadian

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 1d

Haven't met anyone named Geoff in a while. Maybe we've finally killed them all off.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 1d

No, you cannot have my number. For then you might call my number.

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nige [ham] @sensualdad.bsky.social · 1d

i'm once again running 100km in One Foot Forward this month to raise much needed funds for mental health research and critical services. for World Mental Health Day today, all donations will be DOUBLED. I'd be grateful for any donations and/or sharing my fundraiser page. thanks! oneff.co/e/NigelSmi

Support my 100km challenge for mental health research!

Together, we can help create better mental health for all.

oneff.co

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Wendigo Wires 👻 @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 1d

My brain sees this and immediately begins playing the civil war theme music

“The Portland War: A Film By Ken Burns” (photo of person in frog costume from Portland protests with backdrop of the original poster for The Civil War by Ken Burns)

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d

if 2025 had a scooby doo style van it would be called the misery machine

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: In Response to Bad Bunny, Turning Point USA Will Do Their Own Super Bowl Halftime Show Which Will Consist of Charlie Kirk’s Widow Erika Begging America For More Money to Wipe Away the Tears She Applies on Her Face With Visine

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 1d

Any job can be a dream job if you have nightmares about work

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: RFK Jr Says Children Who Don’t Lose Their Father and Uncle Early On to Gun Violence Are More Susceptible to Autism

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 12h

thank you for community care

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 1d

i have been stabbed twice* today and i could not be happier about it

*flu + covid 💉 💉

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 1d

I just want to be the unhinged chick in people’s hearts.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 14h

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do scrapbooking.

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 15h

my skull cracks open and my thoughts swirl up into the sky my feelings creating stars that shine back down on me sitting still and finally ever so quiet

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alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 14h

mario there is a solution

Instagram screenshot from one of my favorite sobriety meme shitposting accounts

theglumlots

pixelated image of Super Mario sagging his shoulders and looking depressed.

Text says:
It's a me, Mario
Ima the alcoholic
whata wrong with me

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 13h

HA!!!

jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 14h

friendly reminder, our taxes pay for the military in israel to get free tuition and free healthcare

born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 1d

AMERICA: let’s give $20 billion to Argentina, what is money anyway

ALSO AMERICA: HeaLtHcaRe FoR aLL? wHo iS gOinG to PaY FoR It

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 1d

AMERICA: let’s give $20 billion to Argentina, what is money anyway

ALSO AMERICA: HeaLtHcaRe FoR aLL? wHo iS gOinG to PaY FoR It

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 1d

19TH CENTURY ENGLISH PROVERB: may you live in interesting times
ME, IN 2025: first of all, fuck you

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 1d

Oh great

A screenshot that reads, "Subtropical Storm Activity Alert

Subtropical Storm Karen has formed in the N. Atlantic."

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Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 1d

I’m sorry guys i just can’t do another social media move. If u dm me your address i will send my posts via usps.

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