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BeTheCookie

@bethecookie.bsky.social

420 followers 410 following 170 posts

Possibly not a cookie, but definitely a Cookie

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BeTheCookie @bethecookie.bsky.social · Mar 26

You (boorish, uneducated): I see a woodchuck.

Me (refined, erudite): Ah yes, a forestcharles.

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BeTheCookie @bethecookie.bsky.social · 2h

To be fair, the $50k signing bonus is crucial so they can buy a ranch in Argentina to escape to when the Nuremberg trials sequel starts…

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Wendigo Wires 👻 @joparkerbear.bsky.social · Jul 14

In every single episode, the Scooby Doo gang discover a human is behind the mystery, not ghosts or mummies or whatever. Yet they begin each new case believing the villain is a supernatural being. Every time. Not once do they say “maybe it’s an old man like last time”

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𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🪾🍂 @apexamigo.bsky.social · 2h

yeesh the amount of times i post
something before i penis notice
that i left the wrong word in there

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BeTheCookie @bethecookie.bsky.social · 9h

I am merely suggesting there be a Purple Nurple Revolution.

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BeTheCookie @bethecookie.bsky.social · 9h

🍪

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Reverse Clowngirl @axialagegamer.swifties.social · 15h

Yo, what's the emoji for emoji?

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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 1d

Devising food strategy like our ancestors diagramming the hunt on the walls of the cave, but it's me comparing availability and prices on the apps as I draw up the grocery list.

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BeTheCookie @bethecookie.bsky.social · 1d

If you would prefer to not eat a shipload full of fried snails then you are just eschewing chewing escargot cargo.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 1d

Rhythm is gonna get you, but so is chlamydia.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve yet to hear anyone say, “You know what would make things better? More billionaires.”

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 1d

2 stupid 2 worry about.

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New year, *like* new Cela @kuzmaniak.bsky.social · 2d

You’ve made a very powerless enemy today

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DawnieFish @dawniefish.bsky.social · 2d

Survivors of Jeffrey Epstein's sex trafficking crimes are scheduled to hold a press conference at the U.S. Capitol on Wednesday, October 8, 2025. They will demand that Congress force a vote on a bill to release the government's files related to the Epstein case.

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Twin Dad But SpoOooOky @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 2d

FETCH ME MY DIPPING FROSTING!

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H. I. Martinez @mfdumass.bsky.social · 2d

You never have to renew
Your Poetic License
But you should get another library card

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 3d

Gonna look at the moon then make a snack.

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🎃punkin spice spooky geist💀 @pretty-vulgar.bsky.social · 4d

i should be cleaning and organizing but i had wine with dinner and wine after dinner and wine when i lit my candles so now i'm just drunk at the computer

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Marloween @marlebean.bsky.social · 5d

Working at the bank is:
10% bank transactions
87% helping clients reset their password
40% typing numbers without looking
24% accuracy

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BeTheCookie @bethecookie.bsky.social · 6d

Ask me how you can enjoy my new invention allowing you to have real-time, two-way audio messaging.

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darkwise @darkwise.bsky.social · 6d

I'm a professional time traveler, but I am doing it wrong and just aging at twice the normal speed.

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Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 6d

Enough with the God is a woman shit. If God was a woman shit wouldn't be so fucked up.

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Wendigo Wires 👻 @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 6d

My cat was stalking me so I turned the tables and started stalking him. Now he’s hiding under the dining room table. That’s right, bitch, howya like me now

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 6d

I’m just looking for someone to love me and feed me pudding if I lose all my teeth.

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Dual Noon @dualnoon.bsky.social · 6d

Poetic license and registration, please.

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