Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
Crickets' Choice award winner
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
Pinned
Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
· Aug 24
Me: I’d like to solve the puzzle
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Reposted by Davoid
Your stripper name is “gross” plus your first name
January 14, 2026 at 6:24 PM
Your stripper name is “gross” plus your first name
Reposted by Davoid
men would rather go to therapy than sit to pee
January 18, 2026 at 5:42 PM
men would rather go to therapy than sit to pee
Reposted by Davoid
leaving out red meat for the ants so they get high cholesterol
January 18, 2026 at 2:21 AM
leaving out red meat for the ants so they get high cholesterol
Reposted by Davoid
*batman voice*
I... don't remember... eating corn.
I... don't remember... eating corn.
January 19, 2026 at 12:33 AM
*batman voice*
I... don't remember... eating corn.
I... don't remember... eating corn.
Saw a really dusty car window so as usual these days I wrote HOLD ME
January 18, 2026 at 8:50 PM
Saw a really dusty car window so as usual these days I wrote HOLD ME
Reposted by Davoid
this is how democracy dies.
with a
with a
thunderous meep
January 18, 2026 at 11:15 AM
this is how democracy dies.
with a
with a
Reposted by Davoid
Everybody loves it when I put double-sided tape on my hands and feet and skitter about on the ceiling like a lizard
January 18, 2026 at 8:04 PM
Everybody loves it when I put double-sided tape on my hands and feet and skitter about on the ceiling like a lizard
Reposted by Davoid
10000 baby shoes for sale. Never worn. Bought too many
January 18, 2026 at 6:52 AM
10000 baby shoes for sale. Never worn. Bought too many
We all love dark mode until it’s life and we can’t turn it off
January 16, 2026 at 7:00 PM
We all love dark mode until it’s life and we can’t turn it off
Reposted by Davoid
Welcome to your first day of ReEducate America. This semester we are focusing on Empathy. Ha ha, I know, I know, settle down, remember - you have to learn it or you will be killed.
January 16, 2026 at 6:27 PM
Welcome to your first day of ReEducate America. This semester we are focusing on Empathy. Ha ha, I know, I know, settle down, remember - you have to learn it or you will be killed.
Reposted by Davoid
i have yet to mess up writing the date this year (i have yet to write the date this year)
January 13, 2026 at 4:03 AM
i have yet to mess up writing the date this year (i have yet to write the date this year)
Reposted by Davoid
it’s really crazy that the 1936 summer olympics is gonna be in LA
January 10, 2026 at 11:36 PM
it’s really crazy that the 1936 summer olympics is gonna be in LA
[praying] Could really go for someone to leave only one set of footprints on a beach with me rn, if you know what I mean. Also can they carry me to the ice cream place
January 10, 2026 at 7:23 PM
[praying] Could really go for someone to leave only one set of footprints on a beach with me rn, if you know what I mean. Also can they carry me to the ice cream place
Reposted by Davoid
Darling, fetch me my bathing toaster won't you
January 10, 2026 at 12:42 AM
Darling, fetch me my bathing toaster won't you
Reposted by Davoid
i like to imagine confused people wearing glasses on all kinds of body parts until the manufacturers finally held an emergency meeting and were like, "guys, i think it's time we started calling them eye glasses"
January 10, 2026 at 12:15 AM
i like to imagine confused people wearing glasses on all kinds of body parts until the manufacturers finally held an emergency meeting and were like, "guys, i think it's time we started calling them eye glasses"
Reposted by Davoid
CynthiaBuddles1: how many times a day would you say you wash your hands? hubs and I having a friendly argument! lol
ManOfTown: 7
DessertTimeNow: 12
phalangesworld: 0, foot-led lifestyle
leafcrunch: 0, ggerms beautiful 💋🍸
SoapGod: the perfect number for that day, my clean child. 👈
ManOfTown: 7
DessertTimeNow: 12
phalangesworld: 0, foot-led lifestyle
leafcrunch: 0, ggerms beautiful 💋🍸
SoapGod: the perfect number for that day, my clean child. 👈
January 10, 2026 at 1:51 AM
CynthiaBuddles1: how many times a day would you say you wash your hands? hubs and I having a friendly argument! lol
ManOfTown: 7
DessertTimeNow: 12
phalangesworld: 0, foot-led lifestyle
leafcrunch: 0, ggerms beautiful 💋🍸
SoapGod: the perfect number for that day, my clean child. 👈
ManOfTown: 7
DessertTimeNow: 12
phalangesworld: 0, foot-led lifestyle
leafcrunch: 0, ggerms beautiful 💋🍸
SoapGod: the perfect number for that day, my clean child. 👈
Reposted by Davoid
about to go Pat Benatar on a mfer
January 9, 2026 at 1:32 AM
about to go Pat Benatar on a mfer
Reposted by Davoid
I swung my coat with so much gusto that I took down a ficus tree and an elderly couple.
January 10, 2026 at 12:23 AM
I swung my coat with so much gusto that I took down a ficus tree and an elderly couple.
Reposted by Davoid
ai generated knuckle tats: DEER PLACENTA
January 10, 2026 at 1:52 AM
ai generated knuckle tats: DEER PLACENTA
Aaand I just realized I brought the third book in a trilogy for my flight instead of the second one. 😑
January 9, 2026 at 6:54 PM
Aaand I just realized I brought the third book in a trilogy for my flight instead of the second one. 😑
Reposted by Davoid
I hope the other gentleman, who was also using a cane while we crossed the street, didn't think we were in a race. However, I also hope he knows I won.
January 9, 2026 at 5:59 PM
I hope the other gentleman, who was also using a cane while we crossed the street, didn't think we were in a race. However, I also hope he knows I won.
Reposted by Davoid
And what rough hamburger, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be helped?
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be helped?
January 9, 2026 at 2:54 PM
And what rough hamburger, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be helped?
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be helped?
Reposted by Davoid
Random sociopath in Congress: the veil has been lifted and now you see that the real law is the law of predators and prey, the real law is that the strong set the rules, and we are the strongest, this is true in all areas of life
Guy who has a job selling personalized hats for small dogs: so true
Guy who has a job selling personalized hats for small dogs: so true
January 7, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Random sociopath in Congress: the veil has been lifted and now you see that the real law is the law of predators and prey, the real law is that the strong set the rules, and we are the strongest, this is true in all areas of life
Guy who has a job selling personalized hats for small dogs: so true
Guy who has a job selling personalized hats for small dogs: so true