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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

@gothamcitymayor.bsky.social

400 followers 620 following 1.9K posts

J. Cohen -Texan, educator, and nice curmudgeon. #zeitgang #MFFL #DallasWings 🇵🇸 🌎 Chicago, IL

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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · Aug 24

My favorite Greek myth is the one where the hero defeats the monster, but then the monster starts a podcast.

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Bradley P. Moss @bradmossesq.bsky.social · 10h

I love this image.

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 1d

sometimes i think i'm doing ok then i start driving with the handbrake still up

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Good Boy @goodboy.bsky.social · 19h

There's too many chex in chex mix

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Matt Donato @donatobomb.bsky.social · 16h

Putting FREDDY VS. JASON on just to feel something.

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slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 6h

creating the department of microwaves and wondering why i didn’t win the Safe for Metal Forks Prize

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 10h

Them: Can you help me?

Me: I don’t work here.

Them: Oh, sorry. *leaves*

My boss: You need to stop doing that.

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Villein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 7h

putting jibbitz on my dunce cap

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Gretchen von Tongeln @metalligretch.bsky.social · 7h

They fixed the sinkhole before I could look in it, story of my life.

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Skellyton 💀🦇 @infinitefinite.bsky.social · 7h

whoever decided eyebrows need to have a shape anyway

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 7h

I hate it when I get smoke in my eyes and fail at everything I love wait this is supposed to be a joke The Aristocrats lol

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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 9h

Sometimes friendship is about emotional terrorism.

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ThinlyVeiledPanda @thinlyveiledpanda.bsky.social · 1d

Dental X-rays? You mean tooth pics?

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

Currently making cardboard cutouts of your pfp for when you disappear to Mastodon.

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 1d

Quick someone's coming in. Look happy!

[Looks in the mirror and cringes]

No! Not, like that. Just go hide.

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 14h

ME: Is there another name for the large seaweed that grows to form underwater forests?

GIRLFRIEND: Sea kelp

ME: Omg that's why I'm asking YOU Sharon

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mindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · 21h

like navi flying behind you saying "listen!"

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 20h

If I move to a new site, it’ll feel like my SM nursing home

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 18h

(Buying a hot dog at the beach and releasing it into the ocean) Go on little one, you're free now

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T @mamafirefly.bsky.social · 11h

thoughts spilling outta m’brain

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 1d

One time my son put canola oil on his slip n slide and he didn’t tell me until I asked him why he was shiny and smelled like fried chicken.

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Pandy Fackler 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 16h

Went to the dr. They took 6 tubes of blood. I have none left. I did get a sticker and candy though

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

I had a steel plate put in my skull, because I have a lot of cool fridge magnets.

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ceej @ceej.online · 15h

we cannot reopen the government until the leaders of antifa agree to return the thousands of POW/MIAs lost in portland

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onion person @junlper.beer · 16h

all things considered, he’s just a really stupid guy with really stupid beliefs

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bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 14h

is it not weird that every day there’s a new video of anonymous masked men having the time of their lives beating/shooting/disappearing people and the dem response from the top down is “republicans want to double your health insurance premiums”

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