MykeIsNoWHere
@nowimhere.bsky.social
Belgian beer drinkin bong wielding Earth Mother/Nanny/Milliner/Crafter of stuff
BoobCancer&Pokémon slayer.
BoobCancer&Pokémon slayer.
Pinned
With all of this deregulation, I’m only buying foreign food and drugs from now on.
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
Some people call me space cowboy. Some call me gangster of love.
This one guy calls me Maurice. He sucks at giving nicknames.
This one guy calls me Maurice. He sucks at giving nicknames.
December 2, 2025 at 6:57 AM
Some people call me space cowboy. Some call me gangster of love.
This one guy calls me Maurice. He sucks at giving nicknames.
This one guy calls me Maurice. He sucks at giving nicknames.
Monday Night Candy Cane Football
December 2, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Monday Night Candy Cane Football
Did my good deed of the season-got momma’s tree up before even starting to deal w my decor!
December 1, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Did my good deed of the season-got momma’s tree up before even starting to deal w my decor!
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
One of my chores as a kid was stacking wood, if you want your wood stacked well then offer a quiet child $10 to make patterns with the ends of split logs
November 28, 2025 at 4:32 AM
One of my chores as a kid was stacking wood, if you want your wood stacked well then offer a quiet child $10 to make patterns with the ends of split logs
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
SIMPLY
HAVING
A WONDERFUL
CHRISTMASTIME
HAVING
A WONDERFUL
CHRISTMASTIME
November 28, 2025 at 3:18 PM
SIMPLY
HAVING
A WONDERFUL
CHRISTMASTIME
HAVING
A WONDERFUL
CHRISTMASTIME
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
the two v’s in “twins” are really just there as an example
November 30, 2025 at 4:35 AM
the two v’s in “twins” are really just there as an example
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
We stand firm in the belief that our handler erred on the side of caution when he tranquilized the child in the Tigger pajamas.
November 29, 2025 at 4:09 PM
We stand firm in the belief that our handler erred on the side of caution when he tranquilized the child in the Tigger pajamas.
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
I have misplaced three lords a leapin' and two geese a layin' but the maids a milkin' are present and accounted for
November 29, 2025 at 6:24 PM
I have misplaced three lords a leapin' and two geese a layin' but the maids a milkin' are present and accounted for
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
Your Black Friday reminder that Amazon...
-Provides cloud services that help fuel ICE's deportation machine
-Donated $1 million to Trump's inauguration fund
-Scrapped plans to display tariff costs after pressure from Trump
-Shelled out $40M for a documentary about Melania Trump
-Provides cloud services that help fuel ICE's deportation machine
-Donated $1 million to Trump's inauguration fund
-Scrapped plans to display tariff costs after pressure from Trump
-Shelled out $40M for a documentary about Melania Trump
November 28, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Your Black Friday reminder that Amazon...
-Provides cloud services that help fuel ICE's deportation machine
-Donated $1 million to Trump's inauguration fund
-Scrapped plans to display tariff costs after pressure from Trump
-Shelled out $40M for a documentary about Melania Trump
-Provides cloud services that help fuel ICE's deportation machine
-Donated $1 million to Trump's inauguration fund
-Scrapped plans to display tariff costs after pressure from Trump
-Shelled out $40M for a documentary about Melania Trump
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
My party trick is not showing up
November 28, 2025 at 5:13 PM
My party trick is not showing up
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
My wife is very much enjoying both Post Malone and his tight pants
November 27, 2025 at 11:14 PM
My wife is very much enjoying both Post Malone and his tight pants
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
I wonder what the medical explanation is with drunk people and hearing loss.
November 28, 2025 at 6:29 AM
I wonder what the medical explanation is with drunk people and hearing loss.
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
Wife: [whispering in my ear] what's your fantasy, baby
Me: [whispering back] lady cyclops with big titties, we fuck in a pool full of cornbread
Wife: It’s really my fault for asking
Me: [whispering back] lady cyclops with big titties, we fuck in a pool full of cornbread
Wife: It’s really my fault for asking
December 9, 2024 at 12:50 AM
Wife: [whispering in my ear] what's your fantasy, baby
Me: [whispering back] lady cyclops with big titties, we fuck in a pool full of cornbread
Wife: It’s really my fault for asking
Me: [whispering back] lady cyclops with big titties, we fuck in a pool full of cornbread
Wife: It’s really my fault for asking
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
digesting carbs counts as cardio as long as the carbs were tasty
November 28, 2025 at 6:40 AM
digesting carbs counts as cardio as long as the carbs were tasty
Sat next to a nurse at Thanksgiving dinner and she said I have great veins.
So there’s that to be thankful for.
So there’s that to be thankful for.
November 28, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Sat next to a nurse at Thanksgiving dinner and she said I have great veins.
So there’s that to be thankful for.
So there’s that to be thankful for.
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
All aboard! The gravy boat to Carb Town is leaving the station.
November 27, 2025 at 5:50 PM
All aboard! The gravy boat to Carb Town is leaving the station.
With all of this deregulation, I’m only buying foreign food and drugs from now on.
November 27, 2025 at 6:04 PM
With all of this deregulation, I’m only buying foreign food and drugs from now on.
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
Let’s make this house arrest a home arrest
November 26, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Let’s make this house arrest a home arrest
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
The life-changing power of that food you bought when you weren't really feeling like food.
November 27, 2025 at 12:30 AM
The life-changing power of that food you bought when you weren't really feeling like food.
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
A woman, a plan, a canal, Panamowa.
November 27, 2025 at 12:31 AM
A woman, a plan, a canal, Panamowa.
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
And so it begins…
November 25, 2025 at 7:42 PM
And so it begins…
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
A spittoon and a singing bowl walk into a dark den of deep meditation. Zen says is none of you lost. Singing bowl spits out a mallet and spittoon says see I told you, if you got me hammered they would not be able to tell us apart, that was my cowboy
November 26, 2025 at 5:39 AM
A spittoon and a singing bowl walk into a dark den of deep meditation. Zen says is none of you lost. Singing bowl spits out a mallet and spittoon says see I told you, if you got me hammered they would not be able to tell us apart, that was my cowboy
Let 90 drive to the grocery store and luckily we made it-she’s better at the scooter
November 25, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Let 90 drive to the grocery store and luckily we made it-she’s better at the scooter
Reposted by MykeIsNoWHere
When we’ve finished making love I like to make a pinging sound like the microwave as I feel it adds a little whimsical fun to things, and it also lets my wife know that I fully understand my birthday is over for another year.
November 20, 2025 at 2:22 PM
When we’ve finished making love I like to make a pinging sound like the microwave as I feel it adds a little whimsical fun to things, and it also lets my wife know that I fully understand my birthday is over for another year.