Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

@twinsurvivalist.bsky.social

7.8K followers 1.1K following 7.6K posts

I love Peeps, Miracle Whip, Pepsi, pineapple on pizza, and bleu cheese. I'm basically perfect. Pfp by onehourlate My dumb jokes: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:svme5pcm35w2kjzvtqjfe6pz/feed/aaae4clm6s64m

bsky.app

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Twin Dad But SpoOooOky @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · Mar 9

Joggers? Oh no, dear. These are sitters.

1 91 200

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 4h

A lot of TV shows now have a warning about "adult situations" . . .
but then you watch and no one is going to work, paying bills or cleaning up dog poop.

3 49 130

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 18h

if I ever draft a personal army I’m going straight for Starbucks employees, those mf’ers seen some shit

10 28 210

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

Ashley @ashleysays.bsky.social · 21h

You’re allowed to ghost people in October. It’s festive

2 34 140

Twin Dad But SpoOooOky @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 14h

I was really disappointed to learn that mansplaining was not explaining things very slowly to a man because I REALLY NEED THINGS EXPLAINED TO ME SLOWLY SO I UNDERSTAND.

3 8

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 23h

These fridge magnets spell trouble.

2 67 180

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 16h

i think i want to be one of the other me’s
maybe the one who dealt with her shit in her twenties
or who stayed in touch with her best friend from high school
or the one who became fucking anything at all and never got sick and knew what she had when she had it
can i slip her on like a jacket

10 23 110

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 14h

Two beers, two benadryl and 10 mg melatonin, perchance to dream.

2 10 44

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · 23h

Big money idea:

A daycare for super-speedy hedgehog children called Sonic Youth.

34 120

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 1d

I will not hesitate to wash my whole car with the gas station squeegee.

11 59 200

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 2d

Poundtown called, they want their cake back

4 28 81

Reposted by Twin Dad But SpoOooOky

Boobsy Snickerdoodle @chloethesiren.bsky.social · 5d

Her ample breasts were packed into her tank top like two large scoops of ice cream, her belly spilling out the bottom like another big scoop of ice cream, as she sat eating a tub of ice cream.